Watch this Brilliant scene from Annie Hall

See they were each aware, in that Woody Allen awkward way, what I'm about to talk about.

... A lot of advice given and sought out revolves around exactly what to say, and how to make conversations more linguistic and complex and interesting. Now, this absolutely has a place. Especially if you're very socially awkward and need some things to say to get going. But for the most part I think the community has to be less worried about the words said.

The explicit words that come out of our mouths, are actually rarely the main thing being communicated to each other. It is more often the way in which you say these words, the body language while you say them, the tone that you say them with, etc. Those are what's really being read.

Now, what determines all these nuances and mannerisms, is the position you come from. How you view yourself.

If you view yourself as a guy with little to offer women, this is going to leak out via all those nuances wether you'd like it to or not. Even If you're just having small talk or talk about random bullshit.

Now if you talk about the exact same small talk and random bullshit, but from a position where you see yourself as an attractive man with lot's to offer women... then the interaction will be totally different, and have totally different results. Your high value (self respect) will just be demonstrated, wether you like it or not.

This is how I wind up pulling girls after ' boring small talk' with little or no apparent verbal game... and my friends later are like "wait you have her number?.. wait you fucked her already??! You didn't do anything."

There are always things more optimal to say than others, so continue to seek that type of advice out. But you need to start being even more so focussed on changing how you are rather than what you say. And the way you change how you are is to start valuing and respecting yourself more.

Confidence beats out, and sometimes works in place of good conversation.