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[–]bjlmag 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Confidence comes from competence, not vice versa. If you want to be more confident around more attractive women in social settings, you have to purposefully practice meeting and engaging with more attractive women in social settings until you are confident. You can't wait around to become confident and then go put the practice in.
Why does this happen
It's a natural human response to most situations wherein you lack competence. Like learning to drive, you will naturally be nervous when you start because you don't know what you're doing and the risks are high.Then, as you practice driving, you become more competent, to the point where you can hop in the car and be confident that you'll be able to get yourself around safely and effectively.
how can I fix it
Practice. Fortunately, unlike driving, the risks in seduction are almost entirely perceived risks, not actual risks. Where getting behind the wheel of a car is actually incredibly dangerous and could literally result in the deaths of yourself and others every time you drive, most of seduction involves risks that are entirely in your head. Rejection may sting, especially at first, but not nearly as bad as being ejected through a windshield.
Anyone else experience the same thing?
Virtually everybody in the world in some situation or another, yes.
[–]Wrestler1944 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for an informative reply
[–]beefdx 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My take on a basic way to become more confident in terms of self-perception is to focus on improving the insecurities you posses in talking and interacting with people you perceive to be out of your league.
Specifically, what makes you feel like you're inferior to them? If it's your body for instance, work out and focus on improving not just your appearance but overall athleticism and strength. When you become better at physical feats, you feel better, and that feeling feeds directly into your self-perception; you will in time think of yourself as being better than you were before. Liking who you are and what you can achieve is essentially the essence of self-confidence, and this feeling will resonate with people around you and they will see that you believe in yourself. This goes a long way in attracting the opposite sex, as the subtle interactions at first meeting often involve trying to get a read on you; they want to know what you're made of. If you believe you are awesome because things you posses in terms of looks, skills, etc. are awesome, they pick up on that and mark you as a person of higher worth than someone who walks in with doubt. After all, if you don't believe you are good enough, why should they?
Bottom line; ask yourself what you think makes you feel inferior, and focus on improving those things. It's not just looks either; talents, knowledge, skill-sets, accomplishments are all things that people use to measure their worth.
[–]shybananas 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just think that the only difference is that she's better looking than the other girls, BUT: 1. she might have a shitty personality 2. beauty goes with age 3. she also poops and farts lol
Maybe try imagining them pooping :)
[–]Sixcran2 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Haha I feel like imagining them pooping could help honestly
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[–]bjlmag 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Wrestler1944 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]beefdx 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]shybananas 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Sixcran2 points [recovered] | Copy Link