Congruency

norwegiandoggo · 2025-08-16T06:59:35+00:00

Congruence is essentially being honest.

If you're describing something that you dont have experience with - you're lying or embellishing beyond your knowledge. So people will spot that and think you're "full of shit".

To be congruent - stop lying. Stop talking about stuff you don't know anything about

Life-Income2986 · 2025-08-16T05:32:50+00:00

Why would you be describing something that you don't have experience with?

HomelessMilkman · 2025-08-16T08:22:36+00:00

You have a range of expression you're comfortable with currently. If you go outside that range, being louder, speaking in a different tone, speaking about unfamiliar topics, etc. you become uncomfortable and seek permission to affirm the new behaviour.

"if you describe anything with enthusiasm and congruence, people will want to try it."

This is something I would always say. It's frame control. If you talk about something you feel ashamed off, you do so while lacking enthusiasm, you mumble because you don't want people to hear, etc. but going against the grain of social conditioning and 'thinking for yourself' is hard.

If we all went in a circle and answered, "What car do you drive?" there will be the people who feel like they have a 'better' car than the average and answer with more enthusiasm; conveying the fact they feel 'of status'. But, the reality is you don't need to own the best car, you could just say "I don't drive... I walk" with more enthusiasm than the guy who drives a Porsche, and it would kill; it's funny, it's unexpected, it goes against the grain of why you're able to summon the enthusiasm without needing the external reinforcement. It's an emphatic display of inner confidence and is the most attractive thing you could ever do.

This is happening all the time. You can just choose to assign value to what you're saying, you don't need permission or external reinforcement to do so (in theory). Though, most people would feel 'lesser than' in that situation and answer it meekly. It doesn't matter what's going on, it doesn't pay to say anything meekly.

There is no hierarchy, it's just marketing; most people are just willing to abide by this arbitrary fact that they or their shit is uncool so typically yes, the people who fit into the arbitrary mould of society tend to feel more assured and assert themselves. You'll see that guys moan about looking like 'x', not being 'tall enough' or whatever. You have to take whatever the fuck you've got and convey it in an appealing way.

It's a journey. It starts by realising that if you say things with enthusiasm, people are more receptive; you take the standard shit you usually say, say it with a bit more gumption and notice the reaction. That bleeds into the experimentation of 'I could say this', not having to say the stereotypical 'hyped' thing, or having to ask someone else, you have autonomy and can carve your own lane; that's developing a unique, interesting personality that is 'congruent'. You believe in because it's 'field tested' and it works because the entire reason you're doubting yourself in the first place is because of this.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-08-17T16:07:21+00:00

As someone else said, it's about honesty. You can't lie about any aspects of your life/lifestyle. If even just one thing is found to be a lie then you have no credibility remaining as a potential or current partner.

People are actually stupid enough to lie about things that can be verified in a matter of seconds like age and height. Your profession can also be found out pretty easily or through follow-up questions. And don't lie about enjoying things that you don't like/know absolutely know nothing about, places you've never visited, people you've never met, etc.

Be yourself. You. Only you. Be confident in the fact that no one has your fingerprint or your exact DNA 100%. You could have an identical twin but you're still unique and can't be totally replicated.

Title	Congruency
Author	Icy_Fail_8577
Upvotes	8
Comments	7
Date	August 16, 2025 5:12 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1mrljrd/congruency/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/congruency.1559707 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559707

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