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[–]Woujo 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link
I know you're in a vulnerable place, and I don't want to sound like an asshole, but I want to comment first and tell you that you don't deserve a pity party.
First, getting laid is not that hard. There are concrete steps that any man can take to get laid. They are outlined on this website on the sidebar and in countless videos and articles. Guys that do not get laid simply fail to accept this advice because of their own emotional hangups, traumatic past, and arrogance. Unless your face is horribly disfigured or something, any man get laid. In my experience, most of the "forever alone" guys I've run across have extremely sexist and/or unrealistic attitudes about women and are fundamentally unwilling change the things that are holding them back.
Second, being miserable because you are not getting laid is stupid. Don't let the media fool you into thinking that sex is the ultimate apex of life. It's not. There are plenty of other important things in life, and sex is just one thing. You can be happy without sex. I wouldn't recommend it, but saying you want to kill yourself because you cannot have sex is extremely narrow minded.
This may sound harsh to you, but what I've said is actually very inspirational and positive if you take it right. You will be happy and you will succeed. You just have to do what it takes.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Woujo 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link
Everything you've said is reasonable, and I appreciate the time you took to write your reply. Some clarification is in order: I don't consider not getting laid to be grounds for suicide...it's more like the final indignity, the little rubber stopper in a forty foot dykework. If anything, sex would serve to salve the unacceptable conditions prevailing. What's in order isn't palliation, but demolition. Perhaps I'm lucky that there's nothing to obscure this understanding.
No offense, but the fact that you are writing in such a flowery, pretentious style indicates to me that you are a weird guy. You sound like one of these shut-in nerds that has not had a lot of social interaction. I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm just giving you my observations.
Just one objection: if getting laid were easy, there wouldn't be countless articles and videos to consult.
I don't think you understood my post. The act of getting laid is very easy. People do it all the time. It becomes hard when you have emotional hang-ups. Overcoming those emotional hang-ups is hard. I bet if I had an interview with you, you would have some insane beliefs about women, life, reality, etc...
If you want to hit me up for some counseling, we can give it a shot.
[–]daemon58 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Man, not everyone who has the ability to write with an extended vocabulary is a 'weird guy'. Get off your high horse :)
[–]Woujo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bra...
He admitted he is a weird guy.
Being able to write intelligently doesn't make you weird, writing intelligently when it's not necessary is weird.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jarn_Tybalt 9 years ago* [recovered] (15 children) | Copy Link
Gotta agree with u/Woujo (tho he's an asshole, trust me on this!). You DO seem like a really weird socially awkward guy. First thing you gotta do, stop being weird.
Then you gotta stop being soooo needy. You are going about it all wrong. You gotta make yourself a fun, dateable guy first or none of the good advice in this sub is gonna work.
It's a cliche, but you gotta work on yourself first. Get used to just going out, being social, talking to men and girls. Once you don't feel so weird doing that, then you can work on getting girls. Just read the sidebar.
And even if you feel needy, definitely don't show it. Just the way you come across here, pretty much would make any chick run the other way.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jarn_Tybalt 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Hey I get it, I mean, I was ragging on you, but I get it. I used to be super introverted and nerdy. Weirdness actually is pretty bad. That's an easy trap. Don't let the funny weird nerdy gamers that you see with a hot girl, fool you into thinking that if they can do it, you can do it. That is not what usually happens.
Sure, there ARE girls who like weird guys. But we are talking a numbers game here. She's gotta like weird guys, be single, be in your geographical area, AND she's gotta feel chemistry with you. That reduces the pool a lot.
There are WAY more chicks that feel comfortable with a positive, confident dude that doesn't do anything really weird. You have to understand, what most girls consider "weird," is really just something like a guy liking superhero movies. They don't mean anima/manga, obscure programming languages, vid game obsessed fan boys.
Once you get good at fitting in, THEN you can start to be more confident. Once that confidence kicks in, then you can let some of your freak flags fly.
And if being w people is too exhausting for you, then you will most likely never date. You just gotta push thru it man. That or be alone.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jarn_Tybalt 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Um, ok, take this in the nicest way possible. Ok? Not trying to insult you:
Trust me, you are weird. I don't mind it. Girls do. Simple fact. Sucks, but it's the way it is. We have to sorta adapt the game to win the girl.
We're all gonna make it, brah
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jarn_Tybalt2 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Ok, so you want an example of your weirdness? How you talk in your posts. Ploease don't talk like that in real life. Don't use words like "infinite eccentricity" or "departure from script" or whatever. That's now how normal people talk.
Not saying that you are not smart or educated. I'm saying that saying shit like that makes girls run the other way.
Unless you are really really good looking. then you can do whatever you want.
[–]MorpholyticKid1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Dude I'm worried about you. Educated people talk that way. Maybe the people you're around don't, and that's fine, but the world is huge filled with all different sorts of talking. You're a fascinating case study though... I think you have been somewhat sheltered but have also had some trauma and loss -- maybe you ran into some bad people along the way. But since you have shut down and decided the world is only what you've experienced. Let me guess, you've never left the USA have you? Have you been to more than two or three states? Don't want to be like you and accuse you of things, but I am suspect that you may be old, but you haven't really seen much outside of a small area of similar people. I hope I'm wrong
[–]Jarn_Tybalt1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Did you actually spend an entire day stalking my post history! lol Autism much?
Nope. Me and my friend spent the night while on the clock. Technically I got paid to uncover why you're such an insufferable ass
So you and your "friend" decided to just go over my post history all night? Aspie much?
Why didn't you just read my post from a few days ago where I admitted all of that stuff?! Would have saved u a lot of time.
Did you lose your fidget spinners or something?
I don't own any fidget spinners. Your world is so warped. I bet your parents don't even like you.
Dude, you may need some. I heard it helps with autism. What meds are you on?
[–]Woujo 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
There's nothing wrong with being weird.
The problem is that a lot of "weird" guys are not being themselves. They create some type of facade that they think people will like that is not really them. And even worse, they don't have a lot of social experience so they don't realize that the facade they created is not actually attractive. Part of being an "alpha" male is not caring what people think and just acting like you would want to act around your friends or people you weren't trying to impress.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 2 points3 points4 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Oh man, it's a long list.
First, most people's ideas of dating and relationships come from dating and movies, so these guys have idealized expectations of dating and relationships. They believe in stupid shit like "soulmates" and "love at first sight" so they don't approach girls that they don't think "are the one." They want to ignore the realities of the dating world and expect everything to work out perfectly like in the movies. They don't want to accept that in the real world girls don't want to hear you whine, complain, or tell your darkest, weirdest secrets on the first date. Girls also don't want a "nice guy" who does a bunch of stupid favors for them.
These guys usually have very sexist attitudes so they immediately dismiss girls they think to be "whores" or "snobs" or stuck-up. These guys usually generalized and dismiss broad swaths of women and say shit like "Girls from LA are sluts" or "East coast girls are bitches" and other similarly insane nonsense.
They guys also don't want to improve and will say dumb shit like "if a girl can't accept me the way I am, then I shouldn't want her anyway" completely ignoring that girls want guys who work out and are in shape.
Strangely, even though these guys are terrible with girls, they will still me that they "know what they are doing" and that they are "good" and just "haven't found the one yet." The male ego is a crazy thing, and no man wants to admit he has no idea what he is doing.
The list goes on but that's just a sampler.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
well you probably have some beliefs that are limiting you somehow
[–]hallloweenjack 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Yo man you're like a wild bird! You know how many guys are in miserable marriages where they havent had sex in 10 years and get hen-pecked all the time? Plenty. You can fly wild and free and I agree with Woujo that if you practice the stuff in the sidebar then you will have success, unless you're living on a space station somewhere. It's spring time so it's time to flap those beautiful wings.
[–]hallloweenjack 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Hear me out, wild falcon. You have been imbued with glorious free will. You need to stoke the flames of your free will and take some action. You may be ugly as hell but don't get wrapped up in this Western Society negative feedback bullshit loop. You could easily stack your cash and vacation in another part of the world where you would be considered a smokin white hot man 10.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]hallloweenjack 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
"White hot" as in very hot. Doesn't matter what u look like. There's someone somewhere who thinks you're a 10.
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]hallloweenjack 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Go forth and let that plumage sparkle in the sun. Do you have a school of thought in pickup that you'd like to practice?
[–]hallloweenjack 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
IDK. I'm new here after being away a while. I do know that subtle forms of peacocking work like a charm. STILL.
[–]Jarn_Tybalt 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Don't. You are too socially awkward right now to do anything like that. You need to tone down your weirdness in public, not turn it up. It takes really confident people to be able to pull off peacocking
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oops. fair enough!
[–]marthdotsk 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't feel like I ever had a choice in the matter.
The reason why you feel that way is because you don't allow yourself to have a choice. Or rather, your mind is preventing you.
Realize this: you're less afraid of death than to take risks in the situation you're at. Death, which is a permanent be-all-end-all from which there is no turning back once it's done. Your other option consists of giving a shot at something you'd have a virtually unlimited number of shots.
Don't do yourself this disservice. Go for what you can get up from.
Judging from your original post, you don't have much to lose, and a lot to gain. Might as well try it before even considering what you can't come back from.
Take care of yourself. And then, give the sidebar a try. For your sake.
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[–]Woujo 5 points6 points7 points (28 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (27 children) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 2 points3 points4 points (26 children) | Copy Link
[–]daemon58 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Woujo 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (23 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jarn_Tybalt [recovered] (15 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Jarn_Tybalt 0 points1 point2 points (13 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Jarn_Tybalt 0 points1 point2 points (11 children) | Copy Link
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[–]MorpholyticKid1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Jarn_Tybalt1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]Woujo 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Woujo 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]hallloweenjack 1 point2 points3 points (13 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Jarn_Tybalt 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Jarn_Tybalt1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]marthdotsk 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link