I have noticed something interesting regarding my experiences in group dynamics. When I am with a small group of people (3-4) who I know well and am comfortable with, I am able to really express myself freely. I feel completely natural, can make everyone laugh, and I can say whatever I want without feeling self conscious or worrying about how they will respond.

On the other hand, when I am one-on-one with a girl, even if I feel pretty comfortable around her, I'm still not able to reach the same level I am in a small group setting. Getting in "state" is much less common, and even when I do get in state its a different form of state. This state seems much more mellow, smooth, and calm, compared with the energetic and charismatic state I reach when I'm in the group.

The same goes for when I'm with a big group or a group of people I don't know well enough yet, or when there is a person(s) in the group who holds more status or a more dominant frame than me. In these situations I tend to be more subdued and rarely get in to state because I'm not feeling comfortable. I think this has to do with the "need to be accepted" reality that I used to come from and still haven't fully overcome yet.

In these situations I don't completely act like myself, instead a more timid and stifled version of myself. Usually I end up being accepted, but for the meek, nervous, watered down version of myself that I present, not for the person I am when I feel free of social constraints.

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Has anyone had similar experiences?

Also, how can I overcome my subconscious need to be accepted and get into state when I'm in a group with people who I don't know or are more dominant than me?