Hello fine people,

I've been going steady with a girl now for close to two years. This is coming off a year + of casual dating with some good success.

Wanted to share a few important points for after you decide to pick the ONE. I fell into a few traps.

  • A trap - I still think seduction is a natural extension of your personality, but there are some elements we learn for initial dating seduction that are unnecessary for a LTR. You'll find out what these are quickly.
    • Ex. Value games are unnecessary. You're two halves of a whole now so act like it.
  • A trap - once you tie down, don't get complacent. Still lead, set up dates, take initiative, and show that you value her. Keep your head on a swivel. It's really easy to fall into routine and kick your feet up and think the relationship will coast forever. You gotta keep pushing the cart from time to time.
  • Some women really enjoy if you're sweet on them and that can be a great romantic addition after the initial dating seduction phase weans. I'll take my lady on dates and shower her with compliments, gratitude, optimism for the future because it softens her and makes her feel good.
  • Transparency and honesty will take you very far. She may hate it in the moment, but she appreciates that you're willing to put yourself at risk to do the right thing.
    • Ex. Your old dating connections will reach out. Preemptively show her what they said and your response.
    • Ex. 2 She asks your opinion on something and you tell her EXACTLY what you think. Don't be a dick but don't change your responses to save her feelings. (Caveats here, but good principle).
  • A trap - Negative emotions are best shared after a longer period of dating. Crying is fine as long as the cause is reasonable. Make it brief, thank her for listening, and move on.
    • Ex. I cannot see my family in Belarus because of the war and haven't in 5 years. We skype and I find it hard to keep myself together and get emotional. Reasonable. Crying over spilt milk? Unreasonable.

There is more, but I'll break the posts up for readability. Keep it up out there fellas.