I think I figured out why rejection hurts me so much - I'm in this for the wrong reasons

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-06-27T20:08:02+00:00

While I do agree that consuming content is almost always a complete waste of time, I think your problem is slightly different.

See, most men when approaching a woman aren't simply approaching a woman because they may be sexually interested in her and want to get to know her better. That's almost always the excuse but behind it there is other meaning. If they have a successful interaction, it means to them stuff like "hey, I am a normal guy after all", "I am worthy of a woman like her", "this will show all my bullies in middle school who told me I was a loser", "hey dad, look, I approached a girl, do you approve of me now, do you, dad?", and so on and so forth.

So much meaning is attached to the successful outcome that the inverse is also true. A rejection also means that you must be worthless, ugly, dumb, weird, unfuckable, subhuman scum. This is why a simple rejection can hurt so much. You are deriving your sense of approval and validation from successful interactions with women, but this also means that they can make you feel disapproved and inferior.

The only solution is to decouple self esteem and success (or lack there of) with women. Couple your success with things you can control, such as are you a good person? Are you a quality person? Are you someone who stands up for his friends? Are you a loyal friend? Etc. when you feel good about yourself without female approval you will stop seeing women as these infallible goddesses that can make you or break you. You will see them for simply humans who excite sexually and who you may want to jump in bed with and enjoy for a night or more.

SuggestionHonest7989 · 2022-06-27T19:23:30+00:00

If you don't like cold approaching, no one is forcing you bruh. Happiness comes first.

Joshisbetter5 · 2022-06-27T19:08:01+00:00

Very common brotha, most people spend their lives theorizing, analyzing without doing (and I am guilty as this at stages in my life)

Very important not to identify with these negative emotions. We are not our thoughts, and tbh most thoughts want you to stay the same in life. It’s our biology to stay the same.

Keep shooting, only look at misses as feedback that you can learn from. A lot of this stuff just self corrects itself with practice. As with anything in life. It’s all reps.

Title	I think I figured out why rejection hurts me so much - I'm in this for the wrong reasons
Author	larsson22
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	June 27, 2022 7:02 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/vm33y4/i_think_i_figured_out_why_rejection_hurts_me_so/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-think-i-figured-out-why-rejection-hurts-me-so.1255895 https://theredarchive.com/post/1255895

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