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[–]Educational_Soup8845 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exposure. The more practice you get in this anxiety inducing situations the better you will be able to manage them. In addition, standard advice applies. Diet, lift, meditate
[–]yourcousinrafa 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wrote similar post that might interest you. https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/v4olvs/rookies\_guide\_to\_overcoming\_approach\_anxiety/
[–]Ok_Combination_1831 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have the same problem. I’m a very serious person. I can’t „let loose“ except when drunk. I was out with this girl a few times and one time we went on a party, she said I was a completely different person (not in a bad way). Don’t know how to work on this.
[–]Complete-Salad2314 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I definitely resonate with the part about letting loose. I take life seriously, I want to be good at things and develop myself and I work hard at it. To be disciplined and make progress toward my goals. In general I think that's a great value to have and don't want to lose it... it's a part of me. But I'm no fun a lot of times and I know it. Other day for example was talking to this girl on Tinder and crushed it with some funny opening lines, got her contact info and starting talking more. She wanted to meet up but eventually politely told me to fuck off, I think I caused her to lose interest by just talking about the stuff I was interested in
I have great in depth conversations about life or whatever topics with my friends. But with women they just don't give a shit about stuff like that. I feel I'm supposed to be constantly like doing backflips and making life an adventure for these young girls. I just don't know how to integrate that with the serious and disciplined parts of my personality. I'm sure it's possible and I'm sure I'm missing something obvious here. For now though I'm in the dark as to what that is.
[–]mulletygoodness 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Easy going = not taking shit personally and radically accepting reality. It leads you staying calm no matter what.
Loose can also be attributed to that of one who is unhinged. And there is a fine line between madness and delusion. Madness can lead to greatness however so tempering it is a fine line to jump across repeatedly in a process of averaging.
Fun; what brings you joy? The lack of expectation? Perhaps when you approach situations without or with less and less expectations you find more joy?
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]mulletygoodness 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Right, cheers for clarifying. Managing your breathing better; when you lose it. It becomes more difficult to get back and if you proper lose your breathing you're fucked right? Removing all of your tells makes you come across as robotic and is kind of counterintuitive to what you're hoping to achieve right? I'm guessing you've got a somewhat higher degree of sensitivity to changes in culture for lack of a better term differing from place to place perhaps more so on a micro scale than a macro right as it does sound like you're reasonably well travelled. A big one I picked up on recently is speaking softly. Not being afraid to buy time to answer with a compliment saying 'hmm, good question, I'd like to ponder that' and opening the opportunity for them to elaborate and keep talking right? When you speak softly yet clearly people do lean in a bit to hear you better and both them then you feel way more comfortable and at ease with one anothers presence. You've travelled and I'm sure you've noticed that mannerisms and subtle nuances in language can differ from place to place. If you do make wierd mannerisms, and get teased by that's a good thing, it's an opportunity. You don't have to say anything witty, people say dumb shit all the time. just smile and agree with them and make eye contact. And smile with your eyes my dude. Body languge is tougher to explain.
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[–]Educational_Soup8845 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]yourcousinrafa 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ok_Combination_1831 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Complete-Salad2314 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mulletygoodness 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]mulletygoodness 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link