[deleted by user]

TheNextBigCrash · 2022-05-14T09:30:23+00:00

I’ve been in similar situations.

I used to go clubbing alone all the time. Due to my work (at the time), a lot of my friends lived far away and I’d only see them every so often. I spent too much time away from home to really know anyone in the area, so I’d just go clubbing alone in the weekends to get my social fix. I did it like every weekend for about 2 years. Eventually I ended up in a LTR that lasted 3 years. Once that ended, I had lost ALL my confidence. Going out alone - something I used to do all the time - now felt weird and daunting. I was 3 years older, which put me at a 6-year gap between me and the 18yo’s in the club. It was a big change.

Thought “fuck it” and went anyway. I didn’t go with any plan in mind, just that I wanted to be social and have fun. So that’s what I did.

I can’t really help you with any specific info, but I can tell you what I do. Get in line and strike up conversation with whoever you get next to immediately. In my case it was some drunk guy 😂 but he was a real laugh and made me feel good before I even got into the club. Then, talk to the bouncers before you get in. Just smile, “how’s it going?”, “how much is entry?” Etc… the more you talk, the less time you have to think about anxiety. Then, from there, once you’re in the club, talking should only be done in the outside smoking area. Talking inside the club, unless to a bartender, is useless. Get a drink, feel the music, start dancing, and don’t worry about what other people think.

You’ll find that people inside clubs act in a simple way. If you are emitting “fun” energy, they’ll want to join in and include you. If you’re emitting “loser/awkward/scared/nervous” energy, they won’t want anything to do with you.

I’ve seen 40yo guys alone in a club having the time of their life, girls grinding on them, because they’re just there to have fun. I’ve seen my decent-looking 20yo mates get rejected time and time again because they stand there awkwardly sipping a drink without actually having fun.

Basically, don’t go there to pull. Go there because you want to be social, listen to music, jump around, make a friend, etc…

Edit: I’ll just add my “proof” to this. The best nights I’ve ever had clubbing have been when me and my mates went out while I was in my LTR. I’m a loyal guy if I’m in a monogamous relationship, and during my LTR when I went to the club my only purpose was to have fun and wingman my mates. But to my surprise, it was THESE nights that I had a suspicious number of girls approach me, want to dance with me. It’s as if they can subconsciously tell who’s there to pull, and who’s there to have fun.

Viktor2500 · 2022-05-14T09:57:07+00:00

Oh man, you can't imagine how long I've been waiting to share my experience with clubbing solo with someone and hopefully teach them something I've learned along the way.

I started going out alone like two months ago and similarly to you, it took me a while to convince myself to do it. The first night I actually went out alone ended up being one of my best nights out right off the bat. The best part out of all of this for me is the fact that you are "forced" to go talk to someone and make a connection (shit, you don't even have to speak to them, you see someone on the dance floor with some sick moves, you straight up go and join them), thus you are working on your social skills and getting out of your comfort zone - the two most important things when it comes to progress in my opinion. You need to look and feel like you are having fun, otherwise, there is no point.

Now I'm going to address some of the thoughts and concerns you had that night, that I've also experienced before.

Nowhere to stand around the bar? - Cool, go up to someone or a group of people and ask if you can join them until you finish your drink.
People are going to notice that you are alone? - Not once has somebody mentioned or made fun of me in some way for being out alone and when I bring it up, the reactions range from them praising you for being the Chad that you are and having the balls to do something like this to a girl saying to me "And is there a problem with that?".
All the girls look like they are already talking to other guys? - They might be, and it might look that way, but I can assure you that not all of them are out there with their boyfriends. Unless they are making out with someone or dancing with some dude, it's a green sign that they are approachable.
All of them are having friends next to them except you? - That shouldn't be surprising at all, not once have I met someone that's going out solo for the time that I am doing it. If you want to have friends around you, drink with them, etc.? Make them!
You don't feel attractive enough for the women there? - Unless you are physically and lookwise below average, overweight, and not well-groomed, this shouldn't be concerning you. In that case, the most important thing is confidence and having the balls to do something.

To throw in some quick tips, always act on your instincts and what your gut is telling you. The more you overthink something, the less likely you are to do it and always, and I mean ALWAYS assume attraction.

I also do journaling (and suggest you start doing it as well) after some of my nights out, just to write my thoughts on the events that took place the previous night and hopefully learn something from that the next time I go out.

I hope this helps you, grab your ass and go out again today. Good luck out there man.

Acquired_Note · 2022-05-14T13:30:33+00:00

What a coincidence. Last nite I just randomly decided to go visit a bar. I just wanted to scope the place out and see if enough people were still in town to fill the place up (it's summer break now and it's a college town). Parked my car, decided might as well go in too. Objective: talk to someone, anyone. I go inside, walk around, use the bathroom, sit at a table, play on my phone all while being super self-conscious, then leave without talking to a single person. It was nerve wracking. I've never socialized much without drinking unless I'm with friends. Couldn't drink cuz I needed to drive home.

Next weekend I want to go and talk to people. Even if it's just guys. Build up my social confidence. I don't have a problem talking to people, it's just in this sort of setting solo I get anxious. But if I can't even talk to a bunch of drunk dudes I'll never see again, how in the hell can I even dream of talking to a chick I want to bang at least once, right?

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-05-14T15:54:19+00:00

Next time force yourself to stay in the club all night until closing time. You will walk away wjth super powers.0

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	8
Date	May 14, 2022 8:51 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/upd55f/first_night_clubbing_solo_lol/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1259677 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259677

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