[deleted by user]

TheTruth221 · 2022-01-30T05:51:56+00:00

just got to be chill and relax

be cool calm and collected

Calamity__Bane · 2022-01-30T05:53:32+00:00

Escalate physically and focus on having the best time possible.

TheRiverOfDyx · 2022-01-30T07:15:22+00:00

Edit; this got really long. Recognize within yourself that anxiety is silly, like, actually something to laugh at over. Anxiety is just walking with shoes ties, and it’s funny because if we untie that knot, we’re running and bookin it to the finish line. Winning.

This is my problem too, always. Actually my real problem is with my comment…way too long.

TLDR: Stop being a wallflower, get more acquainted with the room, ignore the people around for a moment because they don’t exist. Get comfortable in the space be water like they are, not a stick in the mud, MINGLE. Go talk to some girls. Girls are just gay guys when they’ve got clothes on. Everything else is just magic fairy dust making you horny and nervous. ALL THOSE GIRLS GOT DICKS, DUDE, ASK THEM TO SHOW YOU!!! You’ll be surprised as to what’s actually down there…pssst I don’t think they’re really dudes bro, there’s a conspiracy of something more.

Okay, here’s my trick to getting out of my head and stop being a wallflower, it’s the only crux and I’ve been developing it for at least 10 years now. I know how to fix Wallflower Growth. THIS ONE TRICK TO GAIN CONFIDENCE! Chads hate him! The INDUSTRY SECRET they DON’T want YOU to know.

Remind yourself others can see you. If you feel safe as a wallflower, you’re not. Wallflowers are judged to be wallflowers, which isn’t to say it’s a bad thing - you’re just called a wallflower IF given that title at all. You’re a Wallflower or Undefined, meaning Yet-to-Be-Defined. Not fitting into someone else’s category as you’ve not been judged, sorted.

NOBODY IS SAFE FROM JUDGEMENT. Whether it’s a neutral, basically non-existent opinion, a good opinion, or a bad opinion. Nobody cares about you - in a good way, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Optimism says the hill only goes up from here. Pessimism thinks hurt feelings are a loss.

If you need to remind yourself of what you look like in the room: imagine yourself as a wallflower in an initially empty room and fill the room with the people in the house. Zoom in from the third person on a close up of yourself starting from the opposite end of the room. Feel that anxiety? That tension? It’s almost claustrophobic being a wallflower. This is the full weight of barrier to entry, of getting out of the head. This is why you can’t approach girls, though maybe you can talk to guys. I find I seldom do that unless I make sure to go on that way - not go out of my way, mind you. It’s the same as school dances where it’s all boys on one side and girls on the other, someone has to approach, and guys are supposed to have balls, so they should show some balls and do it, why do women gotta grow balls? It’d be very nice and lovely, but we’re born men already know what we have to do, we just question if we have the strength to do it. We carry that burden innately, asking it of women is something to progress to in society, we’re not there yet although some girls do approach and it’s a start. Current times are as follows: Focus on your input, progress will reach that point someday, not today.

Wallflowering is a lack of input, which is a type of input. Called No Input. It’s a failing input, life doesn’t hand us things often, it handed us a chance for us to hand things to ourselves.

Wallflowering is an inward looking outward view. You’re stuck in your head and looking at what might as well be more a literal than figurative sea of people at around head height, and the water is solid. It’s quicksand. As a wallflower from the outside looking in at your outsides - your body and face, you start seeing yourself as a single object in a current of many different objects. All freethinking and animated, so it’s not like you can feel comfortable as though you were among rocks and trees.

You are part of this ocean, you are quicksand. Imagine someone else feels introvertedly intimidated by you, not because you’re scary but because others are shy too. Even people that are chatty, they’re internally shy but go for it anyway, shy here being egos getting put on the line. Risking emotional damage. That heals pretty fast, day to day, big or irreparable damage doesn’t happen as often for each individual as general emotions fluctuation. No spikes. Me being a wallflower is metaphorically and literally being a stick in the mud. That’s what it means. Everything is bustling and moving, and there’s a stick stuck not moving with the current. Nervous to move with it, or even bend with it, let alone move with it. Creating a resistance for both the water, and the stick.

The water gets little out of you, you might as well be a lamp that can’t even give out light, or like a coaster on a coffee table. Just holding a beer. Another inanimate object, not nothing, just sitting or standing there, menacingly.

If you look at you from the perspective of across the room, but forget all notions of being a wallflower, just focus on “Party. Friends. Fun. Joy. Relaxation. Activity. Play. Drink.” stuff like that, then look at yourself - look how prepped you got for the party, you put in some effort, hopefully. Effort isn’t stupid, it’s dedication. Always gotta look fresh for a party, no need to get dolled up, just look Minty. Clean. Like a Human-in-a-Box that came out looking fresh off the production line. It feels good to be dripping in one’s own way. Just another rando robby rockin a replicable yet unique style, there’s only so many.

See how you’re not singled out in your head anymore? The room is full, you’re “wound up” and ready to run now. You’re at a party, your function is to mingle, have fun, be safe, drink responsibly, and HAVE FUN.

I’ll order this specifically: Nobody knows you, new kid. Go be the popular kid before they find out you’re a self-proclaimed Pariah. You don’t know anybody, you want to. Go make friends. You can have lots of friends, they’re called acquaintances. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. Friends are basically close friends, and then close friends are besties. Hookups are just acquaintances that leave and never return, generally mutually as it was like a one night stand. Those could become booty calls, or even FWB, depending on how you define those two.

gangweedsavedme · 2022-01-30T07:25:55+00:00

Just do the opposite of what you were doing

MattPruga · 2022-01-30T18:24:01+00:00

I learned that I need to stop drinking and have fun with myself, two most important things at parties. People will naturally gravitate towards you

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	5
Date	January 30, 2022 5:42 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/sg22sz/i_feel_so_anxious_at_parties_and_i_csnt_talk_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1267972 https://theredarchive.com/post/1267972

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