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[–]IGetBoredSometimes23 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It sounds like your technique needs work. If you're at her place, she's almost definitely has the intention of having sex. If she changes her mind, it's usually because you're doing something wrong in the physical department.
If this only happened with the one woman, I'd say that there could be other reasons she didn't want to have sex. She could have anything from a medical condition to past sexual trauma that kept her from wanting to go further. But if this has happened with several women, it's probably because your foreplay game is lacking.
I wrote an entire post on how to be good in bed. You can click on my profile to find it. Yet going from your post it seems like your technique is what needs work. Work on being a better kisser and learning how to tease with your hands.
[–]bluewahle1900 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is it possible you are coming off needy in the moment?
[–]Corrsta 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm honestly not even sure what qualifies as needy. I feel like simply showing intent and escalating could be seen as needy if the girl isn't feeling it. In this day and age, I'm not looking to end up on the front page of my local newspaper, so when I hit that resistance I try to play it cool, back off and try again later.
If I had to guess, I think my issue is just connecting with people.
[–]rustoof 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
People advocate for "freeze outs" which I personally have not found effective. Generally I find it just creates hard feelings.
I would guess either you're rushing things or you're not technically proficient. If the former, actively try to avoid being in a sex situation until you've verbalized your intentions. You can either do this in a cocky confident way "I'm gonna fuck you" or a teasing "I hope you don't think I'm gonna put out kind of way" If the latter you will need to find someone to teach you proper foreplay. Generally speaking I advocate for a situation in which your thugg/knee ends up in her crotch very shortly into the make out session and your hands grip her hips to push her down and back and forth on your leg. Because you are not touching her private parts and all your clothes are on this is pretty easy to get away with, while functionally being the same as 3rd base.
I'm also not afraid of a night cuddling, or needing another date. I have no problem investing in someone I'm genuinely interested in. I'm also not so wedded to looking cool that I'm afraid to verbalize my desires, and I'm happy to push someone's limits and then say "I'm sorry, I couldn't control myself." I don't believe in concepts like affirmative verbal consent, and I would guess several, but not all of the women that have LMRd you are quite disappointed you didn't push through. Others like the one in the story just aren't feeling you but can't reject you until they have too. Generally if a woman is going to do this to me I can tell from the jump on the second date and unless it's very clear we're fucking I won't invite her in or go into her place because it puts her in an awkward position.
I would guess if you were better socially calibrated you wouldn't be putting women on the spot of rejecting you in bed, but that's a practice makes perfect kind of thing.
Just keep going, play the game, have fun, don't take it to seriously and be process not results oriented. It will all work out if you stay positive and keep grinding (sometimes literally lol)
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[–]IGetBoredSometimes23 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bluewahle1900 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Corrsta 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rustoof 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link