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[–]ProdigyLightshow 8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link
Be cocky to yourself in your head. Tell yourself you're the shit over and over until your confidence returns.
Maybe it's dumb but it's what I do and even though I know it's me telling myself that, it seems to work. "Fake it til you make it" kinda thing.
There's nothing else I can really say except you gotta try to learn to brush the rejection off easier and try to not let it affect you as much. Easier said than done I know, but it's all I got.
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link
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[–]ProdigyLightshow 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yeah basically. The placebo effect works even if you know it's a placebo. I do this and it helps in many things besides dating. Skateboarding for example, if I'm trying a trick I'm nervous about landing cause it's difficult, I just repeat "You're fucking dope. You've got this. Fuck this set of stairs." to myself and it has always helped me commit to my tricks better.
Same with approaching girls. Tell yourself you're awesome and she already thinks your cute. It will help you be in a better, more confident mindset. Just don't let it get you down more if she rejects you. I just say "she's missing out, her loss." to myself.
I know this all sounds hella cocky, but it's supposed to be just to yourself in your head. Don't let that over cockiness leak into your actual personality. Just use it like motivation.
If you act like how you want to be, sooner or later you will be that person you wanna be, it will come natural and won't feel like faking anymore.
[–]Wylieon 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hey I see what you mean. I guess I'm just too worried about what they think of me. It's almost like I forgot the "every woman is attracted to you until proven otherwise" mindset
[–]ProdigyLightshow 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah basically. Part of getting more confident is learning the "not give a fuck" mindset. If it's not a woman you met through friends, why would you really care what they think of you? Not like them finding your approach awkward is going to affect you next approaches. Know what I mean? The next girl you meet won't know how things went with the last girl you talked to. Clean slate every time.
[–]ProdigyLightshow 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link
I saw you posted something about being a computer programmer?
I bet you felt retarded when you first decided to learn programming. But you stuck with it, kept trying and acting like you were a better programmer than you really were, and soon it became natural. It's just practice. Being social and dating is the same way
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]ProdigyLightshow 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link
Totally makes sense. I was never terrible around women growing up, but I wasn't the best. I had anxiety and all that but it wasn't really bad. I looked at lots of friends of mine like they were naturally better with girls. Then I realized it's not that they're necessarily naturally better, they would just actually put themselves out there, go talk to girls and put themselves in the situation to be rejected. They were practicing and getting better. While I cared too much about what the girls thought of me, so I didn't really try to talk to them unless I knew for certain they were interested in me. But all that did was stop me from practicing and getting better.
Sure, some people are naturally more social, but that doesn't mean they didn't also work to expand their comfort zone and put themselves out there more.
[–]compsickman 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
Ok. Well I guess this means all that is left is the work. Time to go be the man!!! I really appreciate this, you told me my goals are possible.
[–]ProdigyLightshow 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
I'm glad to hear that man! Stay confident and don't let rejection bother you. You seem like you'll be just fine based on your attitude in these comments. You seem like you really want to try to get better at it and that's what really matters
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]ProdigyLightshow 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
Is it really a lie if you are being awesome and talking to all those people?
You're doing it man, you're being more positive by shutting down that part of you that was making you not talk to people and be social.
I think that quote rings true. I mean it seems to have played out in action through you today.
It seems like it's working though right? I mean from what you've said, you were talking to people all day, and that's the kind of practice it takes to be a more social butterfly type of person. I'd say keep doing what you're doing.
[–][deleted] 8 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
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[–]ProdigyLightshow 8 points9 points10 points (28 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (27 children) | Copy Link
[–]ProdigyLightshow 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wylieon 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ProdigyLightshow 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ProdigyLightshow 1 point2 points3 points (22 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]ProdigyLightshow 0 points1 point2 points (20 children) | Copy Link
[–]compsickman 1 point2 points3 points (19 children) | Copy Link
[–]ProdigyLightshow 1 point2 points3 points (18 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]ProdigyLightshow 0 points1 point2 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (15 children) | Copy Link