5 Reasons Your Conversations Are Suddenly Dying

Seddit_Only · 2018-10-20T14:42:20+00:00

I've read tons if post about conversations.
This one actually says something different, and can be useful.
Thanks!

Code3LI · 2018-10-20T18:24:01+00:00

Clear and concise points made... this actually helps, even in regular conversations. I would wnst more examples on point one if possible; just general ones.

taurusthetaurus · 2018-10-20T18:20:48+00:00

Now this is a good post, straight to the point and actually had new ideas.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-10-21T04:08:34+00:00

1

1. The conversation is stuck in present tense

He says that, whenever a conversation stays in the present tense, it's seconds away from grinding to a sudden halt.....

If you're focused on the current moment and experience of being at the temple, for example, that could definitely slide through different tenses.

But in the end, if you're not connecting with the person you're with, it won't matter what you say about the temple itself. The people are what matter. Actively listening to the person you're talking with, is what matters.

2

2. You're uncomfortable with silence

When you're scrambling to avoid silences, you give off this nervous energy that makes people uncomfortable.

Dead right, and I'm glad you hit on this point!

3

3. You're not getting to the point

Smalltalk works fine for the first few moments of meeting someone, but it's usually best to get to the point quickly.

It's important to realise a lot of girls are going to bars and clubs so they can meet a guy who isn't scared to make a move on them.

Getting to the point, is assuming that you know what it is.

Connecting and calibrating come before any move to get the point. Like sure, if a girl is down, then make a move. But sometimes you're going to have to actually connect in conversation first.

That's not small talk, but it's not "getting to the point," either, if "the point" as you seem to be defining it, is physical escalation.

It's a terrible idea to advise an audience of dudes who are often not sure how to hold a conversation, that they need to abandon chatting and physically escalate immediately or lose their chance. Connecting is how we know when to make moves.

4

4. You're alienating their friends

Definitely right on here. If she's in a group, then it's weird to ignore the people with her.

5

5. You're boring

If this is the case, you need to work on your vocal projection, communication and story-telling skills, but that's a subject for another post.

These things are great and all, but again, for many of the guys here, they still need to get the basics down like active love, paying attention and good follow ups, down before they start adding things like storytelling skills.

If you have these basics down, it's easy to hold an interesting conversation. Because using these skills allows the guy to get the girl talking about herself and everyone's favorite conversation is about themselves. Which also means they'll do most of the work in the conversation if you work it right.

eric_shen · 2018-10-20T19:48:43+00:00

Who are you man you've been posting solid content for like weeks now

BonvivantNamedDom · 2018-10-20T20:26:49+00:00

How do you work on vocal projection? I know that is one of my sticky points, but I can't try around and see the reactions, cause I dont even know how to say things differently? I am not talking monotone.

Ezarra · 2018-10-20T18:38:51+00:00

Bookmarked this, thank you very much. I've been trying to figure out how some people can allow for silence. I always feel like o have to fill every moment with conversation but I've seen people in the past so comfortable with each other that they talk for hours but leave moments of silence in between. I've been trying to get to that point for awhile.

NO3SCAPE · 2018-10-20T22:42:51+00:00

Reason 6) she met someone else

wickedsur · 2018-10-21T01:00:31+00:00

Good job,

One thing I do to avoid the boring essence is to be daring. I usually go out to dance which facilitates this for me, but lately I've been doing out outside of the dance floor. If I sense welcoming behavior on their body language, I smile, get close and touch their shoulder or hand. They find that extremely bold and interesting. Last week I was pulling a lady towards my body and she immediately put her phone away and gave me all her attention. My friend tried some of my principles and almost got slapped. I think we cannot fake confidence it has to be real and when we own who we are, the boring will go out the window and we will become much more interesting.

TheJoeyJoeJoe · 2018-10-21T06:03:41+00:00

Ok ok ok, if there's one thing I've learned about Reddit, it's that you get downvoted to fuck for linking to any website that isn't Reddit. But I count like half a dozen commenters who have asked for tips on how to be a more engaging speaker. So here goes...

Here's a video that my business partner and I made called The Epic Story-Telling Challenge. It features everything we know about how to speak in a way that makes people want to fucking listen.

StreamingPurplish · 2018-10-20T21:13:34+00:00

*Is boring*

JCanzo · 2018-10-20T19:37:02+00:00

Good advice, something I’ve been doing for years to be interesting

McFlurry6 · 2018-10-21T01:17:56+00:00

here's ur internet point.

someone0794 · 2018-10-21T01:55:14+00:00

Im a number 5 no matter how interesting my stories are

xbshe · 2018-10-21T03:59:43+00:00

Point 5 also applies to professional life. Working on having a vivid and warm voice can get you very far.

vincent365 · 2018-10-21T04:14:03+00:00

How do I improve my speaking voice? I sometimes stutter and I feel like people aren't interested.

Wickedflex · 2018-10-21T07:52:27+00:00

Post got deleted. Anybody got a link?

BonvivantNamedDom · 2018-10-21T11:24:01+00:00

Removed? Why?

shaqalicious · 2018-10-20T18:30:37+00:00

That's a great life tip about leaving the present tense.

vulcain7 · 2018-10-20T20:34:18+00:00

Any recommendation about storytelling ? books appreciated.

Title	5 Reasons Your Conversations Are Suddenly Dying
Author	TheJoeyJoeJoe
Upvotes	396
Comments	24
Date	October 20, 2018 12:16 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9ptojg/5_reasons_your_conversations_are_suddenly_dying/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/5-reasons-your-conversations-are-suddenly-dying.1455309 https://theredarchive.com/post/1455309

Comments

1. The conversation is stuck in present tense

2. You're uncomfortable with silence

3. You're not getting to the point

4. You're alienating their friends

5. You're boring