How to get past inexperience mentally and functionally

hunterpua · 2020-07-26T11:50:55+00:00

Reading up on technique is all and good and I'd rather recommend searching for videos on how to do it on youtube because it'll make more sense when someone can demonstrate for you but being good at kissing is just like everything else in life.

Some people are good at it right off the bat and some have to do it over and over again and screw up a bunch of times before they get good at it.

You seem to be in the latter group. That's fine. I'm sure there are other things you quickly got good at.

But as far as kissing goes, you gotta just lower your expectations for how well you do with the next few women you get intimate with.

At most you should only be looking for kissing practice. Not a relationship, not even sex.

Its like Jiu Jitsu, you don't expect to become Roger Gracie after your first few rolls. In fact, you're better off expecting to get choked and tapped left and right for weeks because as you know, that's what normally happens in the beginning. The people who can't handle that quit Jiu Jitsu.

Likewise, the people who can't handle being crappy kissers quit trying before they ever get good at it.

So I'd say adopt the same mentality you have to deal with Jiu Jitsu as a white belt for your kissing.

Nigulha · 2020-07-26T15:55:03+00:00

First of all I would recommend you not to let this girl get in your head. Kissing, like a lot of other physical acts, depend on personal preferences. There are people to prefer slow kissing, tongue, no tongue, biting, no biting, intense, romantic, etc. It depends of the moment as well. That being said I think it is always better to start slow and just go with the flow if things start getting more intense. I know it can be embarrassing but do not be afraid to ask as well!! I remember one time I was in a party and I was kissing a boy and he told me “Can I bite your lip? “ I found it so hot he asked haha. It’s always better to know that you’re in the same page, the same goes for sex. I don’t know what are your personal standings on kissing unknown people at bars or parties and stuff, but if you don’t mind, then my other advice would be to try to kiss as much people as you can and want, with their consent of course. It may sound weird but practice do make perfection. Lastly, we’re never going to be compatible with everyone. So maybe you were not compatible with this girl.

b3nji3reddit · 2020-07-26T18:50:35+00:00

don’t worry about this girl man, honestly the biggest thing is that there’s no right or wrong way to kiss, everybody does it differently. what i’ve found is that mirroring how the person kisses usually works best. it’s not a performance it’s a team effort, kind of a back and forth dance if your will. unlike dancing tho, don’t stay in the lead. once you’re kissing/making out just pay attention to what they’re doing with their lips, the position of their face, hands, etc. and then try to reciprocate

it’s a numbers game tho, the more girls you kiss the more comfortable you’ll become. so brush off the awkward experiences and get back out there!

RobinHeimonen · 2020-07-26T11:58:05+00:00

The thing about kissing is that usually when it’s bad, it’s just because the two people kissing don’t click. I’ve had bad kissing experiences but they’ve always been because either the girl or I was kinda forcing the situation, that led us to kiss, even though neither of us really wanted to.

I believe that your last experience has made you second guess yourself and now you are overthinking it and it’s hurting your self esteem.

I’m sure your kissing technique is fine, but your anxiety and fear of not performing perfectly is what hinders you and make/ you uncomfortable.

The best advice I think you can get is just to get out more and work up your experience that way, im sure the next girl you will kiss will think that your an amazing kisser.

Title	How to get past inexperience mentally and functionally
Author	matterhornmania
Upvotes	6
Comments	4
Date	July 26, 2020 11:04 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hy54xz/how_to_get_past_inexperience_mentally_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-get-past-inexperience-mentally-and.1499367 https://theredarchive.com/post/1499367

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