Can't really think of myself as sexually attractive 🤦‍♂️

cyrusol · 2020-09-13T22:04:11+00:00

I know that looks aren't everything, and that personality matters and all,

Only for relationships and friendships. For ONS and FWB personality does not really matter. It is okay to be attracted to looks.

If you approach someone on the street you don't know them. You only see their looks so you only can judge them by the looks. Same for online dating.

Maybe they are good people. Maybe they aren't; it's very much possible they are horrible. The point is in getting to know them in order to later on decide whether you want to keep them in your life or not and what the nature of that relationship should be in your opinion.

You don't have to nor should you agree to or ask for a relationship early on. It is okay to have sex beforehand. Christian teachings may say something different but frankly I don't care what bronze age barbarians thought of as good.

but whenever I think about women, I can point out quite a few things that are "sexy" but can't do the same about men.

Why does that worry you? You are just not attracted to men.

Let the women be the judge of what makes you attractive. Never try to find a reason to (not) be with you for them, that's their job.

Even though I might be able to do it once in a while (approach a girl) despite the nervousness,

Know that even the most successful people who approach publicly only have a success rate in the lower one-digit percentage ranges.

It's like I am always in the role of a nice friend who helps and not the boyfriend who gets the benefits too.

Ouch. That's a problematic thing to say.

It doesn't surprise me at all, given your background. But this worldview is almost universally frowned upon, see r/niceguys.

Sex is either part of a transaction or part of a validation. People seem to shame other people for having validational sex but fail to realize that this is the kind of good sex everyone actually wants. Sex as part of a transaction feels horrible. Just ask men that didn't have sex in a long time why they don't just pay sex workers to fix their situation.

As soon as you start (mentally) negotiating your own goodness and altruism in exchange for receiving sex you make that sex transactional in nature and women don't want that.

It's better just not being good and altruistic and all that if hoping for sex in return is part of the reason for why you act like this. People seem to mistake that as a statement like "women want just the bad boys!" - that's not true. Someone who tries to exchange altruism and goodness is the actual bad boy even if he believes he would be nice. Someone who is unapologetic about his behavior but upfront and honest and offers/asks for sex without any strings attached is the actual good guy but appears like a bad one.

I heavily suggest reading the book No More Mr. Nice Guy. The problem is that the upbringing methods, the ideals your parents and environment programmed into you ... are horribly outdated and fail in the real world.

Wetasscoochie · 2020-09-13T21:09:58+00:00

Well you don’t have to find yourself sexually attractive cause who wants to have a crush one themselves , But you should change your mindset of always thinking no one will like you (don’t be cocky but don’t be insecure yk)

quinnmcd · 2020-09-14T14:53:57+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it belongs in AskSeddit.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.

Title	Can't really think of myself as sexually attractive 🤦‍♂️
Author	NardDog2000
Upvotes	5
Comments	4
Date	September 13, 2020 9:01 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/is6odm/cant_really_think_of_myself_as_sexually_attractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cant-really-think-of-myself-as-sexually-attractive.1502092 https://theredarchive.com/post/1502092

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