So I’m kind of in this loop of being stuck between a rock and a hard place and I honestly don’t know why I do it.

But I get quite hung up on the fact that I’m a virgin and am not actively getting girls like that to the point that even watching porn doesn’t even do it for me - However

But sometimes when I get a girls details for l- be that in person or on a dating app- I arrange the date or link up (even if it’s just for sex) but last minute I always tend to back out of it or say something wishy washy and obscure that makes the girl leave because I panic at the idea of leaving a good impression, wanting to create chemistry on a first date- and where I’m a lot older there’s this fear of me being rejected by women because I haven’t got any sexual/dating experience so I’m afraid they’ll reject me for it. It happened recently to this girl I matched with on a dating app. She was so beautiful and I messaged her with a cheesy opening line- she thought I was cute- got her insta but because I said something weird which put her off, it died. But in the back of my mind I knew I did this on purpose because it pushed her away because I didn’t want to fuck it up.

Another incident happened where I approached these girls on holiday and where I got their details (which I didn’t expect to), they had wanted to go out but as I didn’t expect them to reciprocate their energy it was off.

I always end up really regretting it and kicking myself for not even following through- and it gets to the point where even though i can approach girls or having friendly and flirty conversations and being able to set up a date. Part of me doesn’t know what to do after?

So I guess what I’m asking is- has this ever happened to anyone whenever they’re about to have sex for the first time or go on a first date? And if so how does one combat the over thinking?

For context I grew up in a really strict Asian, religious household as well where dating wasn’t a thing.