Direct or indirect in this case?

pre_nerf_infestor · 2013-04-25T20:10:44+00:00

The current metagame (heh) trends toward direct but you shouldn't ask her if it's a date, because that makes it her choice and takes away your say in the matter. As an example of an alternative, you could jokingly say "I can't believe you asked me out, it's so forward of you".

So- spin it as a statement, not question. Spin it as her idea, not yours. That would be my emphasis.

Nebula829 · 2013-04-25T22:44:03+00:00

Show her it's a date with your actions. Do things that will not let her know 100% it's a date, but will give her all the clues she needs to know it is using her intuition. A big way to do this is kino escalation!

recyclablebantha · 2013-04-26T02:56:19+00:00

should I be direct and say something like "this is a date right?"

Whether or not you feel insecure, having to ask this question can come off as insecure. Who cares if you call it a date? If it's just the two of you and your intentions have been clear (you've been showing clear and unambiguous signs of interest) and she has responded positively to those intentions...... then it's a de facto date anyway.

The last de facto date I went on...... both of us slipped up and started calling it a date part-way through it. So it could very well be that you'll get your answer in words, without having to ask, anyway.

or be indirect and just try to charm her/kino without directly stating intentions?

This is a bit of a contradiction. Kino and charm are clear indications of intention. You don't need to open your mouth and state your intentions, to make them clear. [As a counter-example: if you were hanging out with a girl and she started kino-ing and charming you, would you consider it an encounter between friends or would you realize she had intentions?]

So I disagree that you are being necessarily indirect if you don't directly state that it's a date.

Recommendation: Don't worry about defining your plans one way or the other, as a formal "date". What's in a word, anyway? Let the interaction be what it will be. If she starts calling it a date, go with it. But even if the word, "date" is not uttered the entire time, that wouldn't change the situation if the encounter was not platonic.

Title	Direct or indirect in this case?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	6
Date	April 25, 2013 6:43 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1d3ljq/direct_or_indirect_in_this_case/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/direct-or-indirect-in-this-case.1351246 https://theredarchive.com/post/1351246

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