Do opportunities for social validation exist in the adult world? How are they like?

Schtemich · 2015-10-06T12:56:06+00:00

Social validation in adult life is subtler and more nuanced than the kind of nonsense that goes on at school. The biggest difference I'd say (I'm 30, by the way) is that it becomes less about defining one's self worth, and more of a... nice bonus.

I work at a large office, in a creative team at a creative organisation. I am popular with my colleagues. When we go to the pub or have big social events, lots of people from around the business will stop me to say hi, and ask how I'm doing. When I talk to people they smile warmly and seem pleased to engage with me. I have a good rapport with almost everyone. People laugh at my my funny stories. This is all nice... and useful... and reassuring. And a feature of daily life. It's the same outside of work with friends and family.

If it was gone I'd definitely miss it, but I don't go to bed each night thanking my stars for all that awesome social validation. For me, my primary sense of validation comes from my creative skills. Whenever I finish a piece of artwork I'm pleased with, I walk around in circles of smug delight, privately celebrating how awesome I am. Or so I think.

I hope this goes some way to answering your question. I'm sure different personalities would come at this from very different angles.

2015-10-06T22:14:00+00:00

Humans are humans, "adult life" is not different than high school or college.

Pretty much any collective of humans > 2 has this same thing going on that you are talking about. A soccer mom wants to be the "cool" soccer mom at the PTA kind of thing.

I do take issue though that you just assume these guys are happy. You never know how happy a person is. Surely it is a mistake to equate your own happiness with becoming "that guy".

thebroathlete · 2015-10-06T06:58:27+00:00

Look man I know you're going through a tough stretch but you're on a seduction sub of reddit where most of the guys are hardly living anything close to that life. If the were, they would not be on here at all. You're asking guys who were social outcasts in school and never had much luck advice, all they will do is regurgitate some canned pickup artist routine bout inner game, tell you you waste your time watching PUA videos, and give you a moral lecture. Guys are out to improve their karma on here, not to really help guys like you.

The only advice I can give is that you need to look your best and max out your looks and the avoid moving to a shitty area like a small broke town or a ghetto. Move to a big city and surround yourself with young and lively people. Social media these days is a major thing, when you max out your looks just upload occasional selfies and watch the likes come. Become one of those narcissists who is all over social media and boast your superior lifestyle once you get the chance.

I recommend uploading tons of pictures of you at the bar with friends, you with hot girls, and you at fancy places/events. Get a job in the nightlife scene so you can actually date the hot girls you run into in those crowds. Eventually, once so many people are getting old and entering their sexless marriages, they'll loathe you with a passion and use the moral nonsense like "get married" or "be an adult".

dabababagoose · 2015-10-06T06:38:43+00:00

Do you just make multiple accounts to ask the same question?

Title	Do opportunities for social validation exist in the adult world? How are they like?
Author	dabababagoose
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	October 6, 2015 6:13 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3nobjm/do_opportunities_for_social_validation_exist_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-opportunities-for-social-validation-exist-in.1308176 https://theredarchive.com/post/1308176

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