As I prepare to move into college, I've spent time dwelling on what went wrong in my social life so I can improve on it. I've spent hours thinking about what I could do to fix the quality of it and become more sociable than I currently am. There must have been something that was a common factor in each year of high school that put me where I was. That's when it hit me - I always stayed in my comfort zone.

My whole life I spent time mostly in my comfort zone, and only went out when, of course, I felt comfortable doing so. Everything I did was in my comfort zone. Examples range from the way I spoke and how I acted, to even where I put my hands while standing + sitting and how I stood. I have a bad posture that I've been improving in the gym and consciously thinking about every time I move about. This was exaggerated when I was less confident in myself, as I would be hunched over quite often (imagine how difficult it is to do well with women when you're hunched over).

Despite all of these things, I recently set out to change what I say and do, along with how I act. This has been resulting in me straying out of my comfort zone more than I like to. Now, I have the urge to actually go out more and be more social. I never really wanted to go out often, but I now realize that going out and being social is much more enjoyable than staying inside, and I have a lot of fun doing both. Nevertheless, I try and push myself to go out whenever possible. There are weekly 19+ club nights in my area that a friend has always hit me up to go to, and I used to constantly turn him down. I had a terrible knack of constantly turning down invites to go out regardless of who it was from. Only previously have I begun actually wanting to go and taking initiative in going by asking him to come out myself. Had I been going to college in my area, I would continue to do so each week.

While at these events, I previously was very timid and never opened up enough to have fun and dance. Recently, I've begun to enjoy myself and dance like nobody is watching. I can't begin to describe how great it feels to dance (without caring about what people think) to music that you absolutely love. This seems like a small thing, but it begins to instill in me a sort of confidence and lack of fucks to give that I can implement in other parts of my life. I actually had a girl approach me and urge me to add her on Facebook so she can share music with me (we're friends, but she hasn't responded to my message so oh well).

This post, under "Putting the Anti-method into Practice" talks about the anxiety and awkwardness that people feel when they're around others. I took this and started to pay attention to how I act in an everyday scenario. I began to notice that I commonly would feel awkward and anxious if I had my hands out of my pockets or if I wasn't using my phone to look like I'm doing something, and my mechanism for coping was putting my hands in my pocket and using my phone, respectively. Additionally, when I felt awkward or anxious, I began to slouch over and trash my posture. I have started to become comfortable not shoving my hands in my pockets so often and not using my phone as often as usual when I'm out somewhere. I also have begun to fight the awkwardness and anxiety by forcing myself to maintain a good posture, as if I were braving it head-on in a fight. This has urged me, in a subtle way, to take in my surroundings, be comfortable with my body and myself, and actually want to be social and start a conversation with someone. The effect even the most subtle of things can have on you is larger than most think; it takes putting it into practice to truly understand.

When it came to speaking to people, mostly women, I would tend to filter myself a lot. I wouldn't say what was on my mind, wouldn't know how to deliver my thoughts properly, and had trouble demonstrating confidence as I spoke. The aforementioned aspects have helped very significantly in this, along with other things such as fitness and style. I feel confident in myself, not only on the inside, but also on the outside. I have begun discovering that I can say quite a bit that wouldn't actually be offensive or weird, given the situation and that I express it clearly and confidently. If I didn't have the confidence+clarity or was in the wrong situation when I said it, it would come off entirely different and end up being weird for the other person, and I would risk ruining an interaction. I now feel confident on how I speak and act, though I have a bit of work to do still.

I wanted to write this post to see if anyone would be inspired enough to begin venturing out of the place they love to be, and explore uncharted territories that they could come to love even more. I feel great about myself, better than I ever have, and I really think it is because I began to do things that I wasn't comfortable with that made me improve as a person, both inside and out.