Does anyone else hate it when their non-single friend tells them to hook up with a certain girl?

MyThrowawaySeddit · 2013-02-09T21:04:56+00:00

You should do two things:

Sit him down -- specifically for a discussion on this topic, not "oh by the way..." -- and calmly explain that approaching attractive women gives you anxiety, just like it does for every other straight male on the planet, and that his encouragement -- while well intentioned -- makes you more anxious. If he wants to really help, he should start having conversations with groups of women and nonchalantly bring you into the conversation ("Hey obsideous, what was the name of that movie we just saw?", not "I want to introduce you to my shy friend obsideous.")
You need to fix your shit my friend. This isn't on him. Your anger at him is displaced anger at yourself. You hate that he points these women out to you because if he didn't, you could more easily pretend you had some excuse not to approach them. Just look at the language you're using: he "always has a perfect excuse". Excuse? You need an excuse? You WANT an excuse?

Look, your friend is being a dick because what he's really doing is demonstrating dominance over you. But that's a separate issue from your equivocating talking to some girl with being obligated to have sex with her. You should be talking to all these girls because talking to other human beings is fun, and you might hit it off with one of them. You have a dick of a friend that "luckily" gives you an excuse not to, so you don't have to confront your fear.

Confront you fear.

2013-02-10T02:42:12+00:00

You're only getting mad because it's a reflection of your own insecurities. I'm not trying to shit on your life for having insecurities, because everyone has them. However, you shouldn't be projecting your own thoughts onto him.

You only think he's a dick, when he's not actually being a dick. You think he's a dick because you're getting upset (for whatever reason) and you're projecting your anger onto him.

Its a huge turnoff being told who to hook up with. I want to pick my own sexual future. Its nobody's concern but mine.

It's not like he's guiding your PUA destiny or some shit. You're acting as if his words will have some sort of monolithic effect on your life, when to him, he's just saying words. This straight up you looking for a reason to get annoyed.

It literally ruins my night, puts me soo far out of state every time this happens.

Don't let trivial things ruin your night. He's not putting you out of state. You're putting yourself out of state.

I notice an interesting trend that occurs when I'm around people with better game than me. I'm normally a confident, funny, loud (of course, calibrated to the situation) person. However, when I'm with someone with better game than me, I end up quieting down and "beta-ing" myself. However, this happens as a reflection of my own personal insecurities, not because the other guy is actually doing anything. Whether it's jealousy, healthy admiration, or I just want to observe and learn, I'm the one who is "beta-ing" myself. The other guy is just being himself. If I simply don't let my own worries bother me (AKA chilling the fuck out), then this "beta-ing" effect won't happen. In other words, I'm the one that's causing these feelings of insecurity.

Guys tell their guy friends "hey she's hot you should go for her" all the damn time. The only reason you're getting mad is because you don't think you could get that girl. If you were in a position where you're comfortable saying "hell yeah bro, let's do it" and just approach her, you would have no reason to get mad.

Again, I don't want to sound like I'm shitting on you or anything, but you need to chill out. Yes, easier said than done, but you really need to relax a bit. From the looks of it, your friend really isn't doing anything wrong.

I've been in your situation before. And, in my personal case, I was mad at my best friend because I was straight up jealous. When you're in a bad mood, you tend to only think bad thoughts to rationalize and justify your emotions. This is what you're doing right now.

This whole post is somewhat similar to being paranoid about shit tests. You're feel as though your masculinity and self-value are being threatened, when they're really not.

Cowrevenge · 2013-02-10T22:17:01+00:00

This sounds like crap. Be the alpha and ignore him. Game regardless. Maybe you should have a sit down work on your inner game, figure out what it is you want. Do you have a crush in his girl or are you gay? (it's cool I have gay friends)

asad16 · 2013-02-09T22:18:02+00:00

I was in a similar situation for a while. You simply need to talk to him and let him know this is getting under your skin. He is your friend be a bit more understanding.

My best friend was dating a girl for a few years, and every time we would go out, he would tell me what to say, and how easy it was to pick up girls. He said he'd wing me in a 3 set, but I ended up taking 2 girls and he would be flirting with one girl. He talked about how easy he could pick up any girl if he didn't have a gf and just tried to show how easy it was.

Most people probably would get really pissed off at my friend for doing this shit, but I understand where he was coming from. My friend had a hard time dealing with all his single buddies going out gaming girls, while he had to deal with a gf, and it frustrating. He just wants to offer value because his perception is that a guy with a gf has the lowest value in the club (which is not true).

Also, I really think you are blaming your failures our 'out of stateness' based off him. Don't blame him, you shouldn't be phased by anyone's actions, especially someone who isn't directly trying to fuck you up

2013-02-10T01:46:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-02-13T01:44:51+00:00

Yea I get that from non single friends, and they may be genuinely caring with a little projecting the badass single guy through me. But I just don't give a fuck and approach who I want to and talk to who I want. Sometimes I'll entertain my friends and approach someone they asks me to cuz it's fun, fun = good. Don't be butthurt about it. It's an inner game issue that YOU need to sort out my friend.

Title	Does anyone else hate it when their non-single friend tells them to hook up with a certain girl?
Author	obsideous
Upvotes	6
Comments	7
Date	February 9, 2013 8:29 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/187j4l/does_anyone_else_hate_it_when_their_nonsingle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-anyone-else-hate-it-when-their-non-single.1347122 https://theredarchive.com/post/1347122

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