Does being charming ever become second nature?

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-12-07T06:04:13+00:00

Yes, I can tell you that it becomes natural under one condition. Chances are that you have to TRY and be charming because you believe you are not interesting enough as you are. It's an overcompensation mechanism of sorts and so is overthinking. It's hard to explain, but you probably carry an insecurity deep down that you are not enough as you are to be attractive to women or interesting to people in general.

When you carry such a belief, your mind kind of goes "okay, I have to overcompensate for that deficiency now" and it's starts spinning it's wheels to make it happen. But you don't want to feel deficient to belong with. You want to feel complete.

So spend some time self contemplating and seeing if you can discover that belief and why it's lodged in your mind. As you work on removing it and realizing that you are enough as you are and there is nothing wrong with you and you have no problem, your mind will ease down and you will start actually liking yourself. Once you genuinely like yourself, your natural charm will come out unforced.

norwegiandoggo · 2021-12-07T06:13:51+00:00

If you want it to become more natural and second nature, then you can't be here on the subreddits and reading litterature on it all the time. Doing that fosters thinking. Which in a social moment often automatically becomes over-thinking and unnatural. You need to begin to let go of theory and just experience stuff. Take a break from theory. Stop reading theory.

faithinstrangers92 · 2021-12-07T10:52:45+00:00

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faithinstrangers92 · 2021-12-07T05:18:34+00:00

Fellow overthinker here. I've only had a few times in my life where it ever happened...

It was sort of a perfect storm where I had zero stress (which is incredibly rare), with absolutely zero expectations for anything at all in life... and I was actually happy.

Then I had a receptive girl around me, which is just based on luck, and which almost never happens.

For it to happen, the girl had to be receptive and in a good mood too, which was out of my control.

So I still think even if you "get there," you will still have a lot of failures and off days.

What I've been able to control is "yes, and." Building off the current conversation in a constructive way no matter what. Said something ridiculous? Make it even more ridiculous, or tie it to another ridiculous idea. Put illogical thoughts in her head. Conversely, it's easy to derail a conversation and make it awkward if you change topics too quickly or decide to argue.

Here's what happened a couple of those times:

I was at a high school graduation party with a girl. We were sitting at the balcony and caught a spider under a cup. I started explaining that the spider was being levitated in midair by magnets. She challenged me, I think by saying the spider was upside down, so then naturally I had to explain that the poles were reversed because the cup was upside down. And there were some weird stripes and joints that fed into our theory. I wish I remembered more :( but by the end I was getting those eyes.

This semester I was at a salsa club. I was talking to a girl who was naturally pretty flirty and playful. After we introduced ourselves and danced a couple of times, we went over to the bar. I started roasting her drink choice lightly, and she in turn started defending whatever shitty IPA it was. Every time she started defending it, I found a creative way to get back at it. Both serious and ridiculous. Then we started joking a little about roofies (wasn't crowded), and all the details about each others' lives became punchlines (well you do x because you're a teacher).

And I had to stumble a little until it started feeling automatic. It never got more natural for me, but I hope it does for you

charlesthe2 · 2021-12-07T22:58:13+00:00

I think instead of trying to be charming which generally results in bad premade lines everyone can tell you planned it’s better if the goal is to have fun with everyone. Try your best to simply put a smile on peoples faces, even people you have no romantic aspirations with and as you begin to get more confident with that you can simply add in boldness when you want to become sexually attractive.

Title	Does being charming ever become second nature?
Author	faithinstrangers92
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	December 7, 2021 4:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/rar3a9/does_being_charming_ever_become_second_nature/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-being-charming-ever-become-second-nature.1271162 https://theredarchive.com/post/1271162

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