Have you ever been talking to someone and the conversation dies all of a sudden? Or worse, maybe you've maintained the conversation to avoid silence but it goes nowhere? Of course you have. We all have. Especially with girls we like.

I'm not going to pretend like I'm a social butterfly because I'm still learning, but I have learned and utilized a very simple trick that has made my conversations much smoother and will do the same for you if you don't already know about it. Trust me, it's a game changer.

Have a goal.

Yep, that's it. Let me repeat for the people in the back.

HAVE A GOAL.

Guys, this is such a simple yet crucial fundamental of conversation. Having a clear goal makes talking to anyone, not just girls, a million times easier. For the sake of this sub I'll be using girls as an example.

Example:

There's a cute girl in your class that you really want to talk to but you don't know what to say.

If you haven't met already, you're first goal should be to introduce yourself.

After that, your next goal is learn more about her. Find out if YOU like her. Ask genuine questions you want to know. Does she have a big family? How many siblings? Do they get along? What hobby is she currently into? What does she want to do for a living? What does she do for fun? What is she passionate about? What's her favorite type of food? Does she workout? The list of questions goes on and on. Just make sure to answer these questions as well so the conversation doesn't become a one-sided interview.

If you like her vibe, the next goal is to establish a form of communication. A number is excellent, but a lot of girls don't feel comfortable giving it away. Asking for an Instagram, snapchat, Facebook, or even Twitter is generally more comfortable for them. As long as you have a way to contact her, you've completed this goal.

The next goal is to setup a day to hangout. You can do this in person or text, but I would personally recommend text. Why? For a couple reasons.

  1. The most important thing is it gives her time to think without pressure and formulate an honest answer whether it's yes or no.

  2. If you're shy, this may be easier for you. You can still come across as confident through text if you're direct.

  3. You're not in your head about body language, posture, appearance and all this other crap.

Asking in person has its benefits, but this my preferred method.

If she says yes to hangout, your next goal is plan the date and inform her of the logistics. (Date, time, etc.) Girls love when a guy takes the lead so having a first date planned is very mucho gusto.

On the date/hangout, you're goal is to HAVE FUN! Don't stress about doing the right thing or trying to impress her. Remember, It's a two-way street and she's on probation as much as you are. Does she make YOU laugh? Is SHE interesting? Is she staring at YOUR butt? Get to know her, joke, and have a good time.

As long as your goal is clear, you will always know what to say. If you're ever talking to a girl and the conversation feels like it's dying or going stale, think about why you're talking to her to help get back on track. In the early stages, talking just for sake of talking is boring and leads nowhere unless you both just click which does happen sometimes.

NOTE: Small-talk is a bridge. The goal of small-talk is start the conversation or use it to bridge into deeper topics. If you're not good at it, make it brief. However I recommend working on it.