Over the weekend I hooked up with a longtime friend at a house party that the rest of our friends were at. We didn't have sex but we made out, dry humped, and I fingered her.

In years (or even months) past I never would've made that move but I'm just over it at this point. I'm over sitting at home the morning after wondering what if I had done something. I'm over constantly putting the girl's perceived wants over my own and constantly talking myself out of things like "well what if she doesn't like it" or "I don't want to make things awkward." And most importantly I'm over choosing to burden myself with "what ifs" for days after I passed on an opportunity while the girl carelessly goes on with her life having no idea the torment I pointlessly put myself through, all because I'd rather have it eat me alive inside for days instead of possibly putting her through 30 seconds of awkwardness. I've finally started prioritizing my wants ahead of the girl's wants.

I've gotten to the point where I've finally learned that having a girl tell you she doesn't want to give you her phone number, or turn her head when you go for the kiss, or swat your hand away when you try to finger her is infinitely better than the hours, days, or sometimes weeks you spend eating yourself alive for not trying and being a pussy.