So I was out at an acoustic guitar jam tonight, and after it finished, I decided to walk down to one of my favourite pubs on campus to grab a pint, figuring it would be pretty quiet, given that it was a Monday night. I often play there at their open mic night on Wednesday's, but didn't expect much seeing as it was early in the week.

Lo and behold the place is packed, because it is the bi-annual Med School open mic session. Seeing an opportunity, I finagle my way onto the set list, and close out the night with my performance. Things go well. Various attractive girls are impressed. I focus on one and start flirting. Things are progressing. She's laughing at my jokes. I escalate with some kino, though I know this girl is way out of my league (she's hot, and is training to be a surgeon - I'm 27, and still an undergrad. You get the picture).

I think things are going smoothly, and so I ask her out. She tells me she's not interested. I tell her I'm not looking for anything serious; that I just want to have a fun time with someone attractive. She says she'd rather have fun with her med school friends. I say 'okay,' collect my guitar, say bye to her and her friends, and slink away.

Now normally, this type of rejection would crush me. But as a recovering 'nice guy'/AFC, I'm trying to spin things differently. What came to me as I walked home alone, in the rain, with my only constant companion (my guitar) in hand, is that EVERY REJECTION JUST NARROWS YOUR SELECTION.

I crashed a party to which I wasn't invited, yet managed to insert myself into the group successfully and put on a good show, got compliments from various girls, and made an approach when I saw an opening (even though I knew I was outclassed). And I got rejected. But you know what, that just means that she wasn't right for me.

I could go home and ruminate about how I fucked up/said the wrong thing/had no chance/shouldn't have even bothered. But I'm not going to do that. The rejection still hurts, but why rub salt in the wound. Rather, I'm going to look at it as if I've just eliminated one possible prospect from the scouting list. I've just scratched one person off the list of possible candidates for dating.

And I'm not looking for 'the one' right now. I think there are an endless number of women out there that I might be compatible with, and am not going to give up looking for them, and am open for having a good time with any number of them. So in fact, while I'm still hurting from this most recent rejection, I'm happy that I've just gotten one step closer to finding someone I vibe with by eliminating from the list someone that I don't.

TL:DR - Every rejection just narrows your selection. Whenever a girl turns you down, accept it, and be thankful: she just made your search for a date a little easier by eliminating herself.