Having expectations that depend on the other person knowing u have those expectations, and also having the willingness to fulfill them, will usually make u resentful and unhappy.

u see, expectations are like a movie script u’ve written in your head about how a situation should unfold. The problem is that other people have no real obligation to follow your script and they might have a completely different script altogether.

In fact, even if the vast majority of the planet agreed that your script of expectations is reasonable, sensible, and fair, the truth is that nobody is obligated to follow it.

u also shouldn’t assume they will behave according to ur expectations, just because most people would. Because what a majority of people would do does not mean every indivdual has the obligation to do the same as the majority.

What’s more, even if the girl or guy u like agrees with u that ur expectations are reasonable and fair, that doesn’t mean she has any obligation to actually meet them, even after admitting they’re fair and reasonable.😬

And i know this is shocking to hear, the same person who agrees with u on how reasonable your expectations are can then “seem” inconsistent, because even though they agreed with you, they still don’t follow through.

The thing is that agreeing with you in theory ≠ having the actual will to fulfill the expectation that both of u agreed is fair and reasonable.

Because in the end, every action comes down to: “Do I want to or not?” regardless of whether the other person is right...

That’s why, when u complain that ur partner or crush doesn’t do what you asked, it’s not because she doesn't understand u or is unable to see things from ur point of view... She doesn't do it because she just doesn't want to.

And if she does what you asked her to do, she is not doing it because she has a moral duty or social obligation to do it, it's because she wants to.

And once u accept that people don't have any obligations to do anything, that everything they do will be because they want to, then u can stop wasting energy on resenting others and instead just focus on filtering people who don't naturally match ur expectations becausse they simply are different and incompatible with u.

P.S. This goes both ways, so it also applies to women who have expectations of what a man has to do in her own opinion. No man is obligated to follow her expectations. It's all about compatibility, not about "shoulds". Because expectations and social consensus around those expectations does not mean obligation.