~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
[deleted]
[–]DestinyChitChat 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Do you feel he would not initiate?
Usually you should be fine with just giving him obvious windows of opportunities for him to initiate. Such as suggestive clothing, flirting, and sexual innuendo.
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
He does initiate, though I am getting a strong vibe from him that he also wants me to initiate. I also want to feel confident to initiate
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Guys go through their whole lives initiating sex. The most a girl does is make a suggestion or position herself in a way to make it obvious she wants it, but never actually does the initiating.
So when a girl does do it, it's incredibly sexy and it might even be a fantasy. If you two haven't had sex yet, though, he might be lacking confidence himself.
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
We have had sex, and it is really good sex.. I guess I just suck at reading him to understand where my window is to initiate sex.
In a different comment I mentioned that he is not really into kissing, and that's usually how I initiate or escalate a situation into sex..
Honestly, I don't know how to initiate sex from a point of us being in a conversation, not really physically touching each other to a point where we are having sex.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Well mechanically the guy has to do most of the work anyways unless he's already hard and you're both naked. The only time I've had a girly truly fully initiate is when she pulled the car over and unzipped my pants and just started sucking me off. It didn't lead to sex at that moment but I was pretty freaking satisfied.
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hmm so say that you are just hanging out with a girl at your house, you know she is interested in you sexually, you have had sex in the past and you know that her spending the night that sex is on the table.. Would you like her to initiate?
This is pretty much the situation that I usually find myself in with this guy - but I feel like I get no signals from him that he wants me to initiate.. Though I feel that when I don't initiate, he might loose interest or start feeling like I'm not really interested..
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The answer is yes, I'd love it and I think a lot of other guys would too.
However, you should do it because you want to, not because you're afraid of losing him. If you start doing things because you think he's losing interest in you then you're not being true to yourself, which will manifest itself in your relationship.
Initiate because you want to, because you're not afraid of his reaction. If he comes over to your place or invites you over, he already wants sex and you might as well get the experience of initiating at the very least.
[–]DestinyChitChat 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It may sound too simple, but the next time you two makeout you can either place his hand on you or you on him. That should be enough. If he still doesn't initiate you can move his hand under your clothes. I really hope he takes over after that point lol.
That's usually my go to move, but he is not into kissing - this is where my block comes in.. I would usually help escalate the situation when I am kissing a guy, but now this option is not available.
So my challenge is initiating from a point of zero contact
[–]DestinyChitChat 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Wait what? Not into kissing?
Ugh I know righ! Well in all fairness he has not said that he is apposed to it - I just got a vibe from him that he doesn't really like it.
I practice good dental hygiene, and have received compliments on my kissing techniques in the past - but this guy ain't into it
[–]DestinyChitChat 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well that's bs. I remember I used to tell an old girlfriend that I don't think I ever wanted to get married and have kids. Even I believed it.
Now I'm happily married and we're planning kids. Turns out it was just the ex I didn't want those things with.
But since he's a FWB I guess it makes sense because he doesn't have to chase you.
[–]quinnmcd[M] [score hidden] 5 years ago stickied comment (1 child) | Copy Link
This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:
No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.
For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No worries, thanks for letting me know
[–]kettlebell_workout -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What works the best is to say "let's have sex", "I want to have sex", "I want that you would fuck me", you get the idea.
Guys are more logical. When you will say like that, he will defo understand and will start making a move.
Hmmm I have considered this, but I don't really find this approach appealing.. I wouldn't want to be approached like this, so I don't necessarily want to do it this way
[–]kettlebell_workout 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thinking that men and women are the same.
Yeah...
Good luck with that.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]DestinyChitChat 0 points1 point2 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DestinyChitChat 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]DestinyChitChat 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DestinyChitChat 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]quinnmcd[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kettlebell_workout -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]littletravellerSun 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kettlebell_workout 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link