I posed this earlier, but thought I didn't need to know, or well, some reason I deleted it. Anyway, that doesn't matter. This might be an interesting question to ask. I tend to not flirt or shy away when a girl gets playful. (keep in mind self delusion regarding this situation is quite possible..that bias is always there..I'll assume it's not). There is a girl at a venue I go to. It got obviously playful at one point, and I didn't do anything. I don't know why, my brain sort of shut down, but later I thought, I should've done <insert playful thing to do here>. I really like her. What causes this fear? Is it that I don't want to do it, or am I just being a wuss? I think my opportunity is gone now though... I think she's with this other guy who hangs out there. I really want to know why I froze. (or at least this is an interesting question and I'm just curious). I mean, it might not have led to anything, but in the moment she was obviously messing around and trying to have fun with me, and I just became this stoic guy...nodded my head, stayed cool, and just said "okay" in an awkward way (it was really cute what she did too) ... when I could've done any number of things to reciprocate instead of being so uptight.

Actually, when I think about it now, as I may have read here, it was selfish and self-absorbed. When a woman is playing around, you should play back. It's also mean in a way since you're rejecting her, especially if she is really doing it and likes you (maybe not loves you, but likes you and is just having fun). Why not go along with it and make her happy? Why not make yourself happy?

What is the root of this aloofness and fear? The play it cool, don't be vulnerable and play back attitude?