I just had to put this out there rather than bottle it up. I’m short, but fairly attractive guy (girls usually tell me so), athletic and muscular. Reason I say that is because at the surface, confidence really doesn’t feel like the issue. Like in social setting where I am acquainted with a person, I can talk and lead the convo and get to know someone, but it’s the initial action of opening to a new stranger or struggling to figure out how what it when to open that really hold me back.

I grew up fat and struggled with fitting in a lot, which may explain my reluctance to approach or talk to strangers. Recently I’ve been trying to improve my social skills, and dating life (I invested 110% of my energy into my career and academics the last 4 years), as a result…up until middle of this year, I struggled to socialize.

As I talk to more people I am building that confidence, but what bothers me and makes me feel like shit is resenting myself for not being bold enough to take opportunities or risks when they arise. One thing I am working on is improving my approach and day Game, when I’m by myself, listening to audiobooks or music, I’m pumped like I can approach, be that confident person, “fuck what they think”, “you miss shots you don’t take”, “it doesn’t matter what you say”, “be authentic, smile, etc.” but then when the time arises I never do and what I end of feeling is this feeling of hate, guilt and resentment the day after for not taking action.

Had anyone else ever been there? How did you get over it?

Because of how isolated my job is, I don’t get to socialize on the weekdays, I can’t regularly practice, and so the few moments I do get sometimes I put so much pressure on myself to succeed that I end up never taking action and resenting myself after the fact.

I watch videos listen to books and have this I can do it attitude, but when it’s time to do it, either I’m out in a big city, bar, club, I just stand there…waiting for the right opportunity or telling myself that these girls aren’t worth my time. How did you guys get over that? What was the tipping point for you?

I went out last night and had many opportunities, I didn’t take advantage of it, I have friends who did and it makes me feel hate toward myself for not doing something that my body was telling me to do, it’s a feeling of anxiety in my chest right now, and I’m hating myself for not being bold, I feel inauthentic because I’m living opposite of the person who I want to be…