A while back, I attended a wedding. It was a nice affair, probably 100 - 120 people in total. The wedding was located at a winery in inland Southern California, so beautiful weather and venue, with a dress code of “cocktail attire.”

My background: 29, 5’-10”, 180 lbs, mixed-race, environmental consultant. I wore a dark teal suit, white dress shirt, no tie, and chocolate suede loafers. I had been single for about a year and a half at this point.

Wedding was a blast, had a great time catching up with some old college friends. I was on the bride’s side; it was one of my college roommate’s sisters who I knew very well.

There was a seating chart, so everyone was sat accordingly. I was at a round table with people I knew, but it was almost all guys. Which is great for kicking it, not so much for meeting women.

Drinks were flowing and small plates were had and wedding festivities began. I was scanning the room to see if anyone else was there I knew when I spied a woman a few tables down doing the same.

We locked eyes, and you have that split-second where you try and remember if you’ve met before, before it clicks. She smiled from across the room, and I gave a nod in return.

We had actually met briefly at the engagement party, and spoke briefly, but it was a one-off and didn’t go any further. Still, I remembered she was quite pretty and easy to talk to, so I made a mental note to reconnect with her during the evening.

There was food, more drinks, the wedding speeches, first dance, etc… But then the party started when the lights dimmed and the dance floor opened up. I hit the dance floor with the crowd, and it’s a riot. After a few songs, I see the girl standing off to the side of the dance floor. It’s go time.

I go over, strike up a quick conversation. I actually forgot her name (embarrassing), but it was ok, since she forgot mine too. She’s about 5’-5”, light brown hair, hazel eyes, lightly tanned, and a pretty figure. She was wearing a pretty little navy blue cocktail dress and heels.

We reintroduce ourselves, quickly catch up on how we’ve been, and then I pull her onto the dance floor. We dance together for a few songs, then I steal her away to the bar. We chat some more in line, grab a drink, then step out to the patio for some fresh air and quiet to talk. We talk for about 30 minutes while washing down our drinks, ask what we thought of the wedding and who we knew/how we knew them.

She was 2 years younger than me, working in tech as a PM, and doesn’t live too far away from me (45 min). Mentally, she’s checking all the boxes for me. We talk more about our hobbies and travels, etc, then down our drinks and go back to the dance floor.

With some more alcohol in us, and the lights dimmed down, there is definitely a more “sexual” energy between us. We dance together for several more songs, a bit closer than before. She gives me the “eyes”, and well, we know what that means.

The wedding starts to wind down and people are filtering their way out. It was an out of town wedding, and we both happened to be staying at the hotel. Jackpot. Between the two of us, we only end up needing one room that night.

Morning comes, and thankfully, neither of us have a hangover. We laze around bed for a bit, talking some more, before she goes back to her room to freshen up and pack.

Before we leave, I invite her to grab coffee at a cafe down the street. She takes me up on the offer and we sit around and have a coffee.

At this point, we both know we could end it here, say our goodbyes and call it a “fun weekend fling.” But after talking some, we both realized we could also make it something more. We both noticed that there was a genuine connection there - something deeper than just a one-night stand at a friend’s wedding.

We talk a bit more about expectations, life goals, just what we would want, etc. and realize we are pretty aligned on a lot of things. I greatly appreciate her directness and sincerity - hard traits to find this day and age. We exchange numbers, promise to keep in touch, and made plans for an actual date that next weekend.

Long story short, we’ve been together for 9 months now.

And it wouldn’t have been possible without doing the basics: work on inner game and self-improvement, ditch the apps and get out in the real world, and above all - APPROACH. It would have been the easiest thing in the world to just stay seated or dance in the corner with my friends. But I approached and well, the rest is history.