Let me start by saying it's not the only thing that changed my life. What it has done is contributed its fair share.

Some preface, I'm 23, Male, newly in a relationship... The nature of which is incredibly complicated at best. I'll get to that part. I'm lucky enough to have Depression, Anxiety, and a general laundry list of issues. r/seduction was a part of my 'rehabilitation.'

I've been lurking around r/seduction for maybe 2 years now. Reading, learning, trying. In those two years, I've been with a number of women, and had sex ranging from mediocre to great.

Seddit helped me be more confident in myself, taught me how to approach and escalate, and just generally be a more awesome me.

Lately though, my life's been a roller-coaster. I decided to go back to school last fall and start pursuing one of my great passions in life, video game development. Yes, I'm an incorrigible nerd. =D

The year's been stressful, and while I did what I could to stay sharp, time was at a premium, and didn't allow much in the way of practice and learning.

That all changed in April. I mentioned I deal with Depression. I don't take meds for it. It's a quality-of-life issue for me. I know I'm Depressed and probably always will be, and I know I get down on myself. Thanks in part to Seddit, I've trained myself, or rather an alter-ego of myself, to be a total bad-ass whenever I start getting down on myself. That inner dialogue goes something like "Man, life is just awful." "WHAT'D YOU SAY BITCH?! NO! NO! UNACCEPTABLE! LIFE IS FUCKIN' UNICORNS MAN! .....You'll never catch it, or truly understand it, but it's fuckin' beautiful as it is... EMBRACE IT YOU MORON!" Yes, that's actually how it sounds in my head. It's worked pretty well. Anyway, on April 19th, my Dog died. Some folks might say big deal. I would tell you I'm 23, and I got that dog when I was six. That dog was my friend when no one else was. And just typing this I'm getting misty-eyed because I miss the crap out of her.

That started the roller-coaster. The 19th was the week before finals. Last day of instruction was the next Monday, followed by three solid days of testing. What great fucking timing, pile on the stress.

I did fine though. I knew I would. Doesn't change I still felt like crap. But I picked myself up. I grieved for my best friend being gone, I unwound from school, and I was doing okay.

That is, until about a week ago. When I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Part of me was relieved, honestly. I finally had an explanation for some of my eccentricity. The other part felt like my life was over. That's kinda a hard sell, after all: "My hobbies include Skiing, Video Games, Programming, Philosophy, Psychology, and, oh yeah, I'm Autistic, so that's something you have to consider if kids are in the cards." >.<

Roller-coaster ain't over yet though. I got a car after not having one for five years. And not just any car, but a car I already knew extremely well. Yes, it has 210,000 miles on it, but I basically grew up in that car. I know all her little quirks, all her problems, and damnit, I have a car. I'm like, 1000% more socially viable all of a sudden.

And here's where the girl comes in. A girl I've kept up with since we dated in High School. Always been friends, a romantic fling here and there over the years, but never a rekindle. We had broken up on good terms, and honestly, broken up because we were both just in incredibly bad places at the time.

I went to see her. She just had a kid. Accidentally. Daddy's a douche-bag and bailed the second he found out about it. She has two divorces under her belt, I've had two great loves since her. We walked really different paths.

We'd just meant to catch up. This wasn't something we'd never done before. We got together for coffee a couple times during her second marriage. I even met the beau. Nice guy, until he wasn't, which was shocking for everyone who knew him, me included. I thought he was awesome until the divorce.

I'd been reading so much Seddit though, that without really realizing it, I was playing my game. I was flirting, escalating, driving things towards that eventual end without even meaning to. I have seven years history with this girl, I was already comfortable with her, anxiety didn't exist in this space. And the Aspergers? Psh, that came up in like the first 20 minutes.

Now, here I am. Honestly, I'm confused as shit. In the four days since, I've had no time to process what happened that night. Maybe because of the sex. I've had great sex before... Passionate and wild. But nothing ever that intense. And neither of us knows what this is. Neither of us knows where it's going, or even has any expectations for where it's going. The only two things we know are kids are a no-no right now, and we're gonna just keep it slow, and simple.

But I'm gonna be honest, I want this to happen. I want this to work. So fuck it, I'mma make it work, whatever it takes, until either it does, or until life slaps me in the face and makes me give up. It'll be ridiculously hard. Finding time with school and jobs is already hard enough, but throw a kid in the mix and that's just a bomb waiting to go off. But I can do this.

And I wouldn't be saying that if it weren't for Seddit. Seriously, you guys are kinda fuckin' awesome.