Followup: Can avoid being Friendzoned without initially having sex?

puaCurveBall · 2011-05-23T21:27:58+00:00

Yes of course. You can keep sexual tension up for months(or theoretically years). This is when hanging in a friends setting, however if you are alone in a private situation where you could easily potentially have sex, you had better have a really damn good excuse for why you aren't.

The question is, if you are a person who enjoys sex, and she is a person who enjoys sex, what do you really gain from delaying it?

I propose you don't gain anything and it is a bad approach which can send the signal you are sexually incompetent, sexually repressed or just incompetent with women.

A woman wants a man who knows how to seduce her, by delaying sex without a valid, vocalized reason(that is congruent with being a sexual man), you are sending the wrong signals.

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-05-23T22:31:41+00:00

I can has no sex? Friend Zone: Do Not Want.

crabble · 2011-05-23T21:30:17+00:00

I am interested in what other PUA's think about this question, and the corollary that was posted earlier about whether or not there is a "time-limit" between meeting a girl and sealing the deal.

There are two competing theories in my head about this question, and there seem to be valid arguments for both.

One is "friendzone theory", the idea that even if there was initial attraction, eventually it becomes stale if one does not convey their sexuality in the exposition of the relationship. Once one has been "friendzoned" it is difficult, but not impossible, to change the situation.

The other is the theory that "if it was gonna happen, it'll happen" - the idea that if there was indeed initial attraction, only someone actively sabotaging themselves will not encounter some circumstance in which chemistry might build and a hookup may happen.

The answer seems to hinge on two factors:

1 - Different women have different attitudes about romance between "friends" and "hookups"

2 - Keeping up attraction over time: you can probably keep a window open for a sexual encounter with a friend as long as there was inital attraction, and the attraction does not become "expected" or "boring" - that is, even as a friend you keep her guessing and attracted. Open question: the longer you have a friend, does it become harder to do this? One must also always appear to be coming from a place of abundance, and to be sexually selected by other women if a friendship is to have the possibility of sex later down the road.

Ultimately, the variation of this query that is relevant to me (and probably a lot of other PUAs) is "if you are already dating someone, and you are flirting with other women and having success, will the women you meet but don't immediately push for a sexual encounter with be available later?" and "how long can you keep sexual tension in a new friendship on a backburner without it extinguishing?"

2011-05-23T22:23:10+00:00

I haven't had sex with my best friend's girlfriend (and I'm not planning on it any time soon), but she definitely hasn't friendzoned me. Her actions and words with me are a little different if none of my friends are around.

2011-05-24T04:14:45+00:00

Yes. DQ the girl.

Example: If she's a brunette, talk about this blonde chick you know with great hair and the prettiest eyes in the universe.

Title	Followup: Can avoid being Friendzoned without initially having sex?
Author	magicroot75
Upvotes	0
Comments	7
Date	May 23, 2011 9:04 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hicby/followup_can_avoid_being_friendzoned_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/followup-can-avoid-being-friendzoned-without.1287984 https://theredarchive.com/post/1287984

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