Learned a lesson the other night that hopefully will help me in the future. I have read a lot of things here on seddit but have put very little into action. Most of the things that I have tried to change have been inner game things and I think that I am on the right path. Still a ways to go though. I had the first chance to use some of the things I have read about and failed miserably in my opinion. I just wanted to tell the story in case it helps anyone else out there.

About a month ago an old coworker of mine messaged me on Facebook and asked how i was. Mind you i hadn't seen nor talked to her in about 4 years. I didn't really know this girl at all but thought it was interesting that she would message me out of the blue. This quickly turned to text and we started texting almost daily. The conversation was very flirty from my end and was well received. I think i did a pretty damn good job on the text game and was a able to build some sexual tension. Over the next weeks I try to get her to come out numerous times and there is always an issue. Not sure if she is flaky or actually busy. I assume it is not a flake since the text and phone calls are still constant. Finally our schedules matched up and I was able to meet her at the local watering hole.

The day starts with her asking if I was going out later. It was a week night and I was planning on it anyways. That evening I text her to see if she was still down for a drink. She doesn't respond so i head out to the dive bar by my house. This is a place that I have been going for like 10 years. I know everyone there and we all sit at the bar and bullshit. I am a quiet, shy guy with social anxiety issues and everyone know this. I only mention this because this is who I am surrounded by. So I am sitting there with my best friend and about 5 other people having a beer and a shot and when she texts and asks where I am. I tell her and she says she is on her way. OH SHIT!!

She walks in the door and is hot. I had seen the facebook pics but I was in no way prepared for this. I always thought she was cute and had told her so via our texts but my god am I in over my head. She walks up to me at the bar and I ask for a hug and she accepts. This is not like me at all but I thought it was way better than a handshake or just a hi. I make small talk and some funny observations about the olympics on the TV. A lot of the small talk had been covered in the texts over the last month so there was not a lot of catching up to do. As we talk there are, looking back on it now, a lot of IOI's. As a crack a joke she grabs my arm with both hands while laughing. Even places her head on my shoulder while holding my arm in this way. She is messing with her hair and fidgeting. I try very small amounts of kino by touching her forearm while making a point, occasionally making contact with our knees since we are sitting on barstools. For some reason prolonged eye contact was a very hard thing to do and i did terrible at it. I also feel I did poorly at driving the conversation past the small talk type things. She eventually had her phone out and we spent some time shoulder to shoulder looking through pictures on her phone. After about an hour she says she has to go. It is getting late on a weeknight and we both had to work in the morning. After she leaves I send her text about 30 min later saying that I liked seeing her and that we should do it again. She replied and said she agreed.

She then asked me if she was like i remembered her. In my stupidness i responded that she is hotter than I remember and that she looked amazing. (pedestal I know). She responded, " I didn't think that you found me attractive :( well i am going to go to bed" Text have been sparse since and I am not sure what to do. Do I wait a while and see if she re-initiates conversation or try to continue like nothing happened?

So hear is the lesson guys. If you do not make it obvious that you are attracted to someone you can miss out. I was able to get this very attractive woman to meet me at the bar via text and a few calls. Late night conversations and selfies built up my confidence and then when I was faced with the challenge in person I fell back to my old ways. I failed to pull the trigger in person when I knew that I had a pretty decent shot. This is a learning experience for me. I guess I thought that by being friendly and non-sexual she would respect me not trying to get in her pants. But at the same time she wanted to know that she was desired. Better luck next time....

TLDR:

Convinced a girl to meet me at a bar after a month of intense text game. She arrives and is a hottie. I proceed to sit there like and AFC while she shows IOI's. Later she tells me that she thought I was not attracted to her. Texts have slowed down after this. Lesson learned.