Hey peeps. Have had an emotional rollercoaster of a weekend. Just wanted to write out a FR for one night to sort it out in my head.

Saturday I went to a friends party by myself. I arrive and there are around 20 people. Hottest girl at the party was playing pong with a tall pretty good looking guy and I assumed they were a couple. This girl looked exactly like Lucy Lawless in her prime.

At first I feel a little weird knowing only one of the hosts of the party. I drink a bit more and start to warm up to everyone and am having a great time. I'm in my zone talking to pretty much everyone, making groups of people laugh. I can be a fun guy if I'm warm.

I've had talked to Lucy a bare minimum. But there was pair of girls that I had been interacting with. The hotter one was harder to get to talk to naturally so I was talking to the passable blonde friend.

Fast forward to the last stretch of the night... I'm watching some people play pong and Lucy sidles on up next to me. She's bumping/touching me lightly and it feels nice. I can also see her looking at me out of the corner of my eye. At this point I'm starting to question if the guy was her boyfriend but I'm still leaning towards that. I try to start a convo with her:

"Do you know Lucy Lawless? No? Remember Xena? No?"

Well I basically give up. So the girl is kind of lightly touching me a bit more and looking still but I brush it off because I think she is going out with the guy at the party and that's enough for me not to try.

We separate and I find out she was probably single. Because I saw the dude who was playing beer pong with her laying it on thick and she was having none of it.

Anyways, I bump into attractiver girl of the pair I was interacting with. We're talking close and very comfortable with each other. I don't remember our conversation but I do remember her looking at me very intensely and me realizing she wanted to kiss after it was too late. I wasn't even geared up for that for some reason. The not boyfriend walks up out of nowhere and literally just stands there and stares at us having a convo. I feel a little weirded out and it totally breaks my mojo. I know I should have made a joke about that awkwardness but I guess I was tired. I ended up exiting the situation and letting him talk to her and it felt really emasculating. I told myself I didn't care that much about her but the way this guy took it just made me angry.

This shit throws me off. The night before a pretty hot girl I know told me that she would fuck me if she didn't have a bf and a couple weekends ago I got laid and it's pretty consistent. I can see myself progressing consistently on all measures. It's just shit like this that throws me off. I had two really nice opportunities with hot women(not very interesting granted) and dropped the ball.