Hi all, this is my first FR but I frequently answer questions on AskSeddit so if there's anything you want me to elaborate on just ask and I'll get back to you after the Giants game. The way I'll write this is to tell you what happened but break down the choices I made as I progressed with this F-close so that you all can understand how I abused my social proof in the most unfair of ways.

So last night, I go to a good friend's birthday party (hooked up with her once but I keep her in the friend zone now) and run into two other friends I haven't seen in a while. I spend a few minutes talking to them when I catch an HB7 looking at me curiously from across the room. When receiving IOI's I always like to force a bigger IOI so in this case I gave her a wink (usually I would cheers my drink but I didn't have a drink in hand at the time). This got a pretty big grin from her and one of the friends noticed and called her over. Turns out they're best friends and she's also the birthday girl's little so I have a lot of social proof at this point. Now somewhere I've noticed a lot of people go wrong is that they don't capitalize on this. Because of this social proof I skipped lower levels of kino and put my arm around her waist while we continued talking to her best friend and another guy.

Now newer guys might be confused because if you read the escalation ladder (and if you haven't yet, go do that) it tells you that you should be starting at low levels like hands and arms and working from coincidental to incidental (or w/e the word choice is for it). This is true if you have no social proof and need to build rapport. Since I was already given this rapport just by my association with her best friend and big, I was able to skip the bottom level of the ladder and went straight to incidental class 2 (that's 3 steps I skipped).

So me and this girl stayed nice and close for a bit talking with people when she asked me if I wanted a shot in her room. Naturally the answer is yes, but it turns out it was the birthday girls room cause she doesn't live there so we got kicked out and walked back to her house at her suggestion. On the way back she tells me she's iffy about having sex and asks if that's an issue. There are several ways to handle this but my preferred method to ASD is to respond "Who said we're having sex? I don't put out that easy." This generally gets the wheels turning in their head trying to figure out why you don't want to have sex with them because that's what all guys want isn't it? From there don't even bring it up again and just watch the look on their face as they try to figure it out. To really mess with her I went so far as to flat out say "We're not having sex tonight." By the time we got to her place we skipped the shot and just got right to it.

The key points I want newer people to take away from this are:

  • Abuse your social proof by skipping lower levels of escalation
  • Turn her ASD on it's head by denying HER instead of the other way around