Hey Seddit, AFC lurker here who is trying to improve himself and get back out there. First FR so bear with me.

Background Info

Like many on reddit, I was always the nerdy guy who never got the girl in high school. In college I started dating a girl, she got pregnant and we got married. Fast forward several years later and we get a divorce because she is no longer happy with the relationship. Needless to say, this was the ultimate rejection and crushed any confidence I had in myself. It's been a year, year and half since then and I have finally started putting myself back out there. Therapy, friends, and reddit have been instrumental in improving my game. Thanks to fittit I am improving my health and well-being (lift heavy shit 3x a week), MFA has me looking my best (wear things that fit, what novel advice) and now you seddit is helping me abstract away parts of the attraction process and improving my game with the ladies. On to the actual FR.

[FR] First Date at an Irish Pub

So I made a date with a girl I had #-closed at a bar the week before (note: first #-close ever). She was cute, a little on the young side and nerdy. For this date, I wanted to make sure that I had fun, and I also wanted to practice kino as much as possible (forearm --> shoulder --> back). With that in mind, when she gets there I greet her with a hug instead of a handshake like I normally would. We are sitting by each other at the bar and I make it a point to playfully hit her on the shoulder with the back of my hand whenever we are both laughing at something. I had a playful neg from the last time we met, and I kept that up as part of our conversation. Also, after she talked about what she did I told her I was a janitor (I am business casual for work) and I was the "best dressed janitor" in the place. This turned into another running joke and by the end of the night I was a janitor working 5 jobs to support my "lavish" lifestyle.

We go to a table because we both wanted to grab a bite to eat, and this is where my kino game started to falter. While at the bar it was easy to playfully touch her shoulder while laughing and chatting, but sitting across from each other at the table, kino died down. The main reason I wanted to get to a table was to be able to have a little more privacy instead of being at the bar like that. In either case, I need to rectify the situation. When we were mostly done eating we started talking about each other's play-list she wanted to show me hers. So I grabbed a chair and moved next to her. I continued the kino from there. She complained about her shoulders being tense so I took it as an opportunity to escalate a bit. The other thing she kept doing (which I thought was very cute) was she kept looking down with a small pout when I would poke fun at her so I would tell her "you don't have to do that, you know I am not being serious" and raise her head with my hand.

For the k-close, I asked her to guess how old I was (27) and she guessed right. Then I took off my glasses and told her, you are correct but if you look at my eyes closely you can see the ravages of time from a lifetime of hard janitorial work. Moved in closer and went for a quick kiss. She seemed nervous, but didn't back away. I was a little worried that I had psuhed things too fast because she was so nervous about the kiss. After a little bit more talking, went for another quick kiss.

After we were done, I walked her to her car and it was at that point that I realized that I did not make a mistake. There were IOIs all over the place once we got back to her car. She was much more receptive and the look in her eyes made it clear that she wanted to kiss some more (maybe she was just nervous about kissing in the bar ?). After a quick makeout session, we made plans to get together for next week.

Thoughts

It is called kino escalation for a reason, but I am not sure how to escalate. Especially given the table between us after we moved from the bar area, it was hard to continue the kino and building of attraction. Some things that worked well, saying I was a janitor and continuing to tease her. Kissing before the end of the date so that there isn't this insane build-up by the end (got that advice from here). Breaking the ice initially, made the end of the date flow very smoothly.

Things I need to work on and do better besides the escalation part of kino was I was letting my AFC-ness creep back into the conversation. Not too much damage (I don't think) but I am mindful of it. Also need to do better at sensing out IOIs and reading people better. Any thoughts?

All in all, a very fun night. I really like this girl and I'm hoping to see her more often. Not really looking to f-close though, I have my own nervousness to get around before getting that far.

Thanks again seddit.

edit: formatting