I would love some advice on how I can improve myself. Had a little date with a girl a while ago today, but I fucked it up. There's also a unexpected ending to the date that you guys may or may not find interesting. I definitely think so.

Let's called her Amy. I'm a college student and Amy is a classmate. I thought Amy was pretty cute, so this past Monday I walked out with her and we started talking. Now, I'm new to the whole seduction process and new to gaming girls, but I like to think I did ok. We small talked a little, tried a little kino, and at the end I asked her out. Mistake number 1.. I said, "Do you wanna go out some time?" I know I should've said go out on a date, but I figured, "Hey it gets the message across." No, it did not, boys. I probably flirted with her more strongly, and made jokes, and probably should've smiled more. A lot of should'ves. Amy says, (Now I'm paraphrasing here) "uh...I don't know. Maybe. I just kind of busy at the moment. But, we can definitely talk! Here let me give you my number." I thought, "Great! Awesome, a number." I told her I'll text her later. After work, I did.

I texted her hours later, "hey what's up, it's SneakyFoxDragRace, hope your enjoyed your day, off to relax. So how's the rest of your week looking? Like to go out with you during the weekend" (Again I didn't say "date", because I thought I got the message across.) I tried to keep my texting to logistics only. Nothing for the rest of the night until the morning where she texts "hey morning, Y'know, my week looks pretty busy, but I have some time Wednesday morning is that cool?" I texted back "Sure. Wednesday morning is cool at 11." Mistake number 2 I feel like I made myself too available to Amy. I can't make Wednesday morning at 11, but I did it anyway because why not? I thought I could make it, but I didn't. So my high availability or at least my perceived high availability hurt me.

So this Wednesday, we were supposed to meet up at our university as planned. However, I knew I couldn't it. The reason I couldn't make it was because I overslept. I wasn't busy that morning, I just slept too long because I was watching the X-Files last night. (Scully, I love you. Marry me. Have my children) I texted Amy, "Hey I won't be able to make it in time, I'll be a little late. 15 min at most" Amy says, "it's okay, I'm running late too." Then she texts me "I'm heading over there now". "Over there" is the spot of our university where we said we would meet. I get there really late, like half an hour late. I went to see if she was still there, but she obviously wasn't. I thought damn, I stood her up. I felt bad. So I texted her "Hey, sorry I couldn't make it. I'll talk to you later, ok?" And I left it at that. I had to the library to do homework and Amy texts back, "Don't worry. You alright?" I said, "Yeah of course" and go back to doing homework.

I go to class, and she's there next to my seat. I didn't say anything because class was happening, and I didn't want to interrupt. After class was over, I go up to her, and I say, "Hey sorry for not meeting up with you." Again at this point, we're still just hanging out, and it's not technically going on a date. I offer to make it up for her, and ask her if she's free so we can go to a sanwhich shop nearby. Amy says she can't really go at that point and we keep walking and talking. Then, Amy says "You know what? Yeah, let's go. I'll meet you over there. Where's the shop?" My phone's dead at this point, but I know where it is. I give it to her and she walks off. Now, it may seem that I'm just rambling, but it's leading to this. This is the start of the date.

Date We go in our own cars. She can't find the place, but I do. I go to the shop, but call her to give her some directions. I'm not good with directions, and she ends up frustrated. She's on the phone saying she's about to go home and we can meet up on a later day. Mistake number 3 I probably should've let her go home. I'll let her go home, and we can set up a better date. However, I was adamant in that I wanted to see her and talk to her. I feel like I made myself way too available in that moment, and was too insistent in seeing her. I could've go home and left it at that, but I didn't. So, we meet up back at the university to grab a bite to eat. University food kinda sucks, but fuck it whatever. So I meet her, and I was nervous.

I like to think myself as a pretty confident person, and someone who doesn't get nervous all that often. I like to think of myself as someone who has it together and can flirt. But, damn, I became too nervous. I tried to embrace my feeling of nervousness, but it didn't go over so well, and it seeped through. As we walk to the university food court, we start asking each other questions, but it was those interview questions that I hate doing. I went on the date to get to know her more, but I feel like my nervousness got the better of me, and I wasn't myself 100%. I didn't feel calm or cool. I didn't feel fun. Mistake 4 I wasn't vulnerable enough. I didn't open up as much as I wanted to. I was still preoccupied with how people thought of me, and conversation faltered. She asked questions too, but the conversation still really take off.

During the date, I learned that I have difficulty being vulnerable and being myself with other people. It's funny because Amy calls me out on this. So, we eat, and we do the whole stupid 20 questions. I didn't like it and I could see that she didn't either. I ask questions about herself. I said some dumb shit too. Mistake 5 Saying dumbass things. I remember telling that I liked drinking, even if I don't think that often. I thought why did I say that afterwards. I sounded like an idiot. I laughed a little just because of how awkward everything was. Deep down I knew I fucked it up. We should've done something else. At the same time, while she was cute, she was boring. Apparently, she doesn't do a whole lot, which bored me. I also fell back on sarcasm to lighten up the mood and tell jokes, but it didn't go over so well. I'm a little sarcastic, but I don't really being that sarcastic. I feel like sarcasm hides my intentions and feelings. I hate it.

At the end, we somehow get to the talking about growing as a person. And we connect over how we've grown as people and come out of our shells. Mistake number 6 Spilled out too much. I felt like I became too vulnerable too fast, but I still held back. Amy calls me out on being too nervous, and not liking that she didn't know that much about me. I think she said something like she likes people who are honest and don't hold back their intentions. She didn't know if what we were doing was date or just hanging out as friends. I knew what she was talking about. I hated that frustration too, but I couldn't make a move. I told Amy I was nervous because I thought she was cute and attractive. I told her about the butterflies in my stomach. I said something to that extent. I can't remember exactly what I said. But it was too much too fast. No one was happy.

Even though no one was happy, we still kept it light hearted. We still enjoyed talking and the conversation at the end became more involved. Then she said something that I was stupid and was her mistake, but was probably a shit test I failed at. In fact, I think it was a shit test I failed spectacularly at. Amy asks if I give advice, and I said sure I do. Amy talks about her feeling attracted to another guy, a professor on campus. However, the professor had a girlfriend, and off limits. She knew that but I guess she wanted someone to give her the okay or a guy to give the push to talk to her professor and hook up with him. I was turned off by this, I told Amy that she shouldn't do that. Ignoring the fact that he is a professor and she a student, the professor had a girlfriend and was off limits. I don't think Amy was happy with the response. She tells me that she probably shouldn't have said that. Yeah, she probably shouldn't have. We left after that. We went to our cars, and haven't texted each other back.

I'll add more stuff if I think of anything or need any clarification.

TL;DR: Had a date. I fucked up. Wasn't clear with my intentions. Don't think I escalated enough. Too nervous. Not as confident or cocky as I thought I was. Awkward conversation. Probably should do something together.