Tonight was the first night I went out entirely sober. It was me and one other friend, and we both agreed to try out a night sober. We were heading to this bar/club district nearby. On the way there, we try to get into state with loud music in the car. I know, however, that as soon as we get there, there will be a rush of anxiety that is inevitable.

We get there just after 11 and it’s already quite crowded. Dozens of people all over the street and the clubs are starting to get busy. From my previous FR, I learned that social mood and momentum is key (http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/wzcwb/fr_19th_birthday_at_the_club/). So I start conversation with this group of guys that parked close to us as we wait for the ticket. Just small banter on which places they are going to tonight and where the best places to go are. We then make our way there and I ask these 2 guys that were sitting down having a smoke on what the best places to go are, I tell them I’m not really familiar with the place. They give me a few pointers.

We get to the crowded street and there are people everywhere. My friend is extremely nervous and has a hard time trying to approach a group. I try to get him to do what I did to help get into the mood but he wasn’t able to. So after walking down the street and checking the places out, I ask a group of 3 girls that are sitting down on a bench for their opinion on where to go. Very lame conversation that lasted for a minute. We moved on and a promoter opens us, giving us cover to one of the places. I have small conversation with her and she tells me it’s her first night on the job. I tell them we’ll make sure to check the place out.

We get there and it’s quite dead. It’s close to 11:30. We walk inside a get a water. Then we go outside to the patio after standing around for a few minutes doing nothing and I see two girls sitting down in the corner by themselves. So I go over and tell them I’m new here and wondering what are the best places to go. The brunette was an older woman, in her early thirties and she asks us how old we are. I tell her were 19. They tease us on our age. She high-fives me for something random, tells me I’m really cute. I could tell though that it’s the kind of cute that she’d tell someone who is just starting to go out, and new to everything, kind of like beginner trying to learn. I talk to her friend who was closer to me and she gives me her opinions. After that the conversation gets stale (it wasn’t really exciting to begin with) and we eject. The brunette winks at me and tells me I’m cute again but I still can’t tell if this is and IOI.

We walk to the other side of the street and go into a place that let us in for $5. I don’t open anyone here and we just sit down and drink water against the wall. I recognize how lame this is, but it was too loud to open inside the club and I couldn’t get myself to open on the patio. We left there after 20 minutes. We walked up and down the street and I tried to get an opinion opener in from two girls that were just standing there talking. I told her my friend with me wanted to get a tattoo but he didn’t know where to get it, what is the best place for a tattoo. I tried to get him involved. They were gorgeous and they asked him what kind of tattoo and he told them, and one of the girls said that was gay (as in lame). This bothered my friend who reacted offended. I know this is not the right way to react to that and I told him after, to which he said the girls pissed him off. I know the purpose of the bitch-shield though is to filter out the men from the chumps. We ejected and a promoter approached us and offered cover to another place, so we went there.

This place was much busier and people were going in and out. The dance floor was really small and it was packed. As soon as I walk in I open the first group of two girls I see and ask them directions to the washrooms, part of trying to get in state. After that I head to the dance floor through the crowd and I just see a lot of guys and few girls. I make excuses, hang around there for a minute then back out. We stand a bit near the door and then go back in. I approached a girl that was dancing with her friend and told her shes adorable, that we should dance. She said no. I asked why, boyfriend. I went into lame conversation with her and the music made it impossible to talk. My friend was talking to hers and nothing came out of it either. After that I went to another girl on the dance floor, told her she was cute to her ear (not sure if she heard what I said or not) she gave me the creepy look, and I noticed she had a guy behind her staring me down. I felt out of place so I left the dancefloor and later the place after that.

We walked down the street again and I tried to urge my friend to approach a group and say anything but he didn’t. I found myself getting out of state and it was just horrible. I felt like shit as I had such high expectations for tonight after my last night out and I had nothing. I remember thinking how it just felt impossible to meet girls anywhere. They were always large groups with guys and girls and it was just loud, and even if it were in the patio it just seemed like no matter what I said I wouldn’t be able to get anywhere. Girls were always in large groups so I couldn’t muster the courage to go direct like I like to and I was just ready for bitch shields which I had faced all night. I’ve had experience with day game and even though I haven’t got much out of it yet but most times I deliver a direct opener and get their attention I hook them into conversation and get her smiling and enjoying it, but it felt that if I tried that here it wouldn’t work. Even on the streets. Everything is just so high energy and I found girls are out there to have fun amongst themselves and aren’t really into getting hit on by guys, sure they like it, but they’d rather tease guys with their looks and when they get approached, they enjoy shutting them down. That’s how I felt anyways, I didn’t approach a single girl this night that gave me the smile where I know she’s attracted. Before we left I opened a group indirectly that was near us waiting for a cab home and I got nasty responses too. It wasn’t that bad when I think about it but I got the feeling that they didn’t want to talk to anyone but their friends. After that we called it a night.

So what I am really looking for is advice. I know some of you guys have felt what I have on a night like this sober with just one other person and I am looking to improve for next time. I know the only way to get better is to go out as often as possible and analyze and look to see where you can improve. I can only go out once a week due to logistics and time, but at least I am able to analyze my mistakes and learn where and how I can improve.

I also feel my age played a part. I felt like a young kid there who got by with a fake ID. I had bouncers actually laugh saying they expected me to have a fake. I know in a few years I will no longer be at a disadvantage, but I want to know what I can do now to look more mature, and look more like a man than a guy.

Feel free to be hard and honest, I appreciate any feedback.