TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

drumdance Archive

View 16 posts and 668 comments by drumdance on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
-4

I have another user account that got banned here. Why? Because evidently I'm a mangina. I think there is some interesting stuff here. But it's offputting how much Absolute Certainty there is about stuff that's based on very preliminary, inexact science. Not to mention anecdotes from 22 year olds whose brains are still developing. And if you say something besides "Amen!" you risk being banned.
/r/TheRedPill01/03/13 04:42 PM
1

Well, remember that girls tend to go for corny humor over bro humor. I have a friend who is the king of corny jokes and chicks eat it up
/r/seduction05/12/12 10:03 AM
4

I've found that the vast majority of girls like dirty talk in the appropriate context. Even the shy girl next door types. More than anything, they want to be taken, not requested
/r/seduction05/12/12 09:55 AM
1

Crap. iPhone. I meant to say that I tried several different medications before I found one that worked
/r/seduction23/11/12 07:08 PM
0

Oh I get that it won't work for everyone. I just think its silly to dismiss it out of hand thru some misguided notion that it hides the "real" you. For me it feels like the exact opposite. Also, intrepid several different mess before I found one that worked for me. Recently there has been some promising research on ketamine. NPR had a great story about it earlier this year
/r/seduction23/11/12 07:07 PM
2

This may be the most awesome thing I've ever read. In ten years you'll be on the cover of Forbes.
/r/seduction23/11/12 07:21 AM
7

Trampoline park.
/r/seduction23/11/12 06:45 AM
3

Ugh. iPad.
/r/seduction23/11/12 06:44 AM
3

This is great advice, for the last couple years I've been into dancing. It's notmthengrestmpassion of my life and I'm notmespeciallymgood at it, but I enjoy the challenge and especially enjoy learning to expand my comfort zone. It's a useful skill to do something at a mediocre level and yet still enjoy it without judging yourself.
/r/seduction23/11/12 06:44 AM
7

Try "yes and" instead. Google it. It's a common tactic in improv comedy.
/r/seduction23/11/12 06:38 AM
1

Thats actually a plus. Women generally like it when men are courteous to the wait staff. It's a sign of kindness.
/r/seduction23/11/12 05:15 AM
6

Don't worry about it. Your lack of neediness around girls means that when the right one comes around, you will likely be very attractive to her. And maybe the right one won't come around for a long time. But this mindset is actually a good thing. It means you can truly focus on enjoying yourself instead of doing things in the hope of attracting a woman.
/r/seduction22/11/12 05:38 PM
1

Its okay to burn am album if that's what you want to do. However, doing it in expectation of something in return is the wrong mindset. Giving should be purely voluntary, not part of a transaction.
/r/seduction22/11/12 05:34 PM
1

I personally have learned a lot here and my life is better as a result. I was never especially awkward or shy. I'd had multiple long term relationships before I ever joined reddit (let alone seddit), so I don't fit the stereotype. But in the last couple years my confidence, self-knowledge and, yes, dating results have gone through the roof. There are many reasons for that, but one of them is seddit.
/r/seduction11/11/12 09:33 PM
-3

Also, the tone of the post suggests you yourself think seddit is full of "pathetic, awkward, and creepy losers who have no idea how the dating scene works."
/r/seduction11/11/12 09:20 PM
0

Perhaps it would've been more constructive to just say that instead of calling it fucking pathetic.
/r/seduction11/11/12 09:19 PM
3

The point is not what you think is normal, but what the OP does. He's obviously coming from a place of great social anxiety. He's made a small step forward. It's all well and good to offer feedback. We all benefit from that. But I don't see the value in telling him it's "fucking pathetic." This is very likely the inner dialogue he's been having with himself for years. He took a risk and got positive outcome, or at least it didn't blow up the way he probably feared. That is not pathetic. That's p…
/r/seduction11/11/12 09:05 PM
2

Don't worry about her calling you a nice guy. I agree you want to be and act like a "good" guy, but it doesn't matter if she makes the distinction. If you have trouble getting it up again, don't be afraid to "help yourself," so to speak. A lot of girls think it's hot to watch a guy masturbate. Also, lay off the booze beforehand, ideally none at all.
/r/seduction11/11/12 08:57 PM
2

To me, confidence is as much about the absence of fear than anything else. If you find yourself acting out of fear (i.e. avoiding saying what you think), you're not confident. For me, I've learned to notice when I'm using fear as an excuse not to act as the person I want to be. Sometimes I still let fear get the best of me (nobody's perfect), but more often than not I bust through it. Over time, things that used to scare me no longer do.
/r/seduction11/11/12 08:36 PM
-8

See what I mean? You wasted a shitload of time thinking of how to insult me instead of engaging the actual discussion. Sorry you feel the need to steal your self-worth.
/r/seduction11/11/12 08:33 PM
1

If the guy is mentally ill, the notion of personal responsibility is suspect. Not saying it's the responsibility of every company to know the mental health of every customer, but in the field of self-help I'd say there's more of a moral imperative.
/r/seduction11/11/12 08:31 PM
3

+1000 He's a clever writer and there is a grain of truth to much of what he writes, but he's almost like a cult leader. He's surrounded by worshippers who only give him positive feedback.
/r/seduction11/11/12 08:27 PM
5

I am a big fan of therapy. I've done it off and on since my twenties. Most recently I did it for about a year and a half around the same time I first learned about Game. My therapist (a woman) was very supportive of my learning about Game but also asked me hard questions that made me think much deeper about my life than just learning a few routines.
/r/seduction11/11/12 08:24 PM
4

I've used this numerous times with no blowback. People act like showing ay interest in a girl is need. It's not needy. It's vulnerable and confident.
/r/seduction11/11/12 08:19 PM
-6

Wow, a guy makes a small step forward in his life and you come in here and hate on him? People like you are sad. You don't have any self esteem, so you steal it from others.
/r/seduction11/11/12 08:18 PM
5

Call them out on it in a fun way. "Why don't you hook me up with your friends? You think I'm a terrible lover or something? I'm a red-blooded male and I have needs! Help a brother out!"
/r/seduction11/11/12 08:16 PM
1

Not traits: practice. People tell me all the time that I'm charming and charismatic, but that is a recent phenomenon and I had to work at it. I'm in my forties. No one said that to me in my twenties. That said, different people have different skills they can develop. I'm not particularly witty -- in fact, I've had to tone down my attempts at sarcastic humor because they too often are misinterpreted -- but I'm really good at maintaining eye contact, telling stories and asking personal questions. …
/r/seduction03/11/12 10:46 AM
1

The chances that any single women will reject you are quite high. However, in acting confidently to every woman you find attractive, the chances that you get from you want from at least one of them is also very high. You don't always get what you want out of life, but there's no shame in trying.
/r/seduction03/11/12 10:41 AM
1

You don't have to be an asshole. Just don't be ashamed of your desires. I once told a woman I had not even kissed yet that I wanted to take her back to her hotel and make love to her. She was a little taken aback, but she was also turned on. Most women have never heard a man say something that bold to them. Five minutes later we were on our way. (This is a high risk strategy. You have to be willing to lose it all. Paradoxically, a willingness to swing for the fences, consequences be damned, is i…
/r/seduction03/11/12 10:39 AM
1

Don Draper on Mad Men is good too. Watch how he unabashedly goes for what he wants.
/r/seduction03/11/12 10:34 AM
3

Pull back for a couple weeks. Part of it might be exams, but you won't know for sure unless you alter your behavior and observe. Doesn't mean you have to be a dick, but just make a point of doing activities you enjoy without needing her there.
/r/seduction03/11/12 10:32 AM
3

When attention is denied by one party, it causes the other party to seek that attention and try to perform actions that will win them attention. This is so true. As a general rule I don't really like to do head-game tactics like this (other stuff like kino, comfort, cocky/funny yes, but not deliberate creation of scarcity). But it works so well! I did it just the other night. I was with a girl at a bar and she was giving me really weak signals: not holding up her end of the conversation, not rea…
/r/seduction03/11/12 10:26 AM
2

Also check out I'm Okay, You're Okay.
/r/seduction02/11/12 05:21 AM
5

Upvotes for Eckhart Tolle. As a general rule, I try not to make decisions based on fear. While it's reasonable to think about your future, set goals and so forth, worrying about some hazily defined future self instead of finding fulfillment in the present is a recipe for continued unhappiness.
/r/seduction02/11/12 05:13 AM
3

What, you can't make new friends?
/r/seduction29/10/12 04:29 PM
2

This is an interesting experiment, but I think there is a fundamental problem with it. They invited 15 single men and 15 single women. In what bar have you been to recently where everything is that evenly matched? No groups, no couples, no girls who are just out with friends (aka obstacles)? Yes, you can learn some things about body language from this, but it's still very artificial.
/r/seduction28/10/12 04:51 AM
4

Get a tongue scraper and always have breath mints handy.
/r/seduction25/10/12 04:28 PM
14

This is good. Also, the Buddhist idea that I am always in a state of "becoming." Helps me get over the idea that "if x, then I will be happy." There is never a "then," only now.
/r/seduction24/10/12 08:43 PM
1

Try taking a class. I always hated going to the gym but started doing a boot camp about three years ago. Since then I've tried a lot of class-oriented things and found them much easier to stick with. Most recently I did about two years of Crossfit. Now I'm doing a lot of yoga classes and they're fantastic. In all cases the instructor pushes me well outside of my comfort zone and it's made a huge difference in my strength and endurance. As a bonus, yoga is always overwhelmingly female, so it prov…
/r/seduction24/10/12 07:34 PM
4

Yes. I've slowly changed my conversational patterns from talking about what I do to how it makes me feel. I don't know if this is the "one thing" that has made the biggest difference but I've been told many times that I'm charming, and I don't think it's because I have a particularly sharp wit.
/r/seduction24/10/12 07:31 PM
5

strip poker FTW!
/r/seduction24/10/12 07:28 PM
6

http://www.theonion.com/articles/european-men-are-so-much-more-romantic-than-americ,11552/ (Edit: make sure you scroll down to the counterpoint)
/r/seduction24/10/12 07:27 PM
1

I read the guidelines and hesitated before posting this, but I think there are some interesting tidbits that Sedditors can take to heart. Some of her requirements: Someone who has at least 5 friends from elementary school, high school, or university that they still keep in contact with. That is, who is sociable and able to develop lasting relationships Someone who can speak with his neighbors (regardless of their age or gender) for at least 30 minutes. Ditto. Someone who does not become jealous …
/r/seduction23/10/12 03:23 PM
1

It's only fucked or seven years. That seems like a long time but believe me, as you get older seven years passes in the blink of an eye. And any case credit is only good if you need debt. Get out of debt and stay out. Don't buy a house unless you have a really compelling reason to. It's not an investment. It's an anchor.
/r/seduction16/10/12 02:39 AM
5

It basically comes down to: Noticing your negative thoughts - this alone is a big step Inspecting them to figure out where they're coming from Realizing that 99% of them are either regrets about the past or worries about the future Banishing them, because the past and the future are only an illusion - there is only now For example, I've never had a burning desire to have kids, and I've reached an age where it's highly unlikely. Nevertheless, sometimes I get the negative thought: "who will take c…
/r/seduction04/10/12 11:10 PM
4

The stereotypical nice guy is scared to let others know what he really thinks or feels on the inside, so he masks it with pleasantries and politeness.
/r/seduction30/09/12 05:29 PM
1

This movie brings back memories. I watched it on VHS about 20 years ago with my girlfriend on a sweltering night in crappy apartment with A/C in Chicago. The movie is set mostly in the desert and it made the heat even more unbearable. Great movie, BTW.
/r/seduction28/09/12 06:46 PM
3

So... did you go on the date?
/r/seduction26/09/12 02:55 PM
2

I've had good luck with it. Met my ex-wife that way. The keys are: Good pictures - no ab shots or pics of you and your sports car. Include a full body picture. Interesting profile. Don't say the same thing as everyone else. Be specific about what interests you and what you're looking for in someone else. When contacting a girl for the first time, send a short but personalized message. Don't say "ur hot." Find something about her profile that interests you and mention it, ideally in a witty manne…
/r/seduction21/09/12 01:22 AM
2

My issue is not that girls can't hear me, but I can't hear them. I used to be a drummer and have blown out my hearing. I don't need hearing aids or anything, but I have a hard time tracking conversations even in a loud restaurant. And I usually wear ear plugs to louder venues because I don't want to end up like my dad (who had lost about 80% of his hearing by the time he was 60). But if hearing is not a problem for you, go for it.
/r/seduction20/09/12 05:01 PM
1

So rich movie stars don't get laid?
/r/seduction17/09/12 05:29 PM
1

This is key. Instead of talking about yourself, ask her about her passions and interests. Doesn't have to be anything exotic. You can start with a safe question like "where do you work?" Then follow up with "do you like it?" If he hates it, why does she hate it? If she loves it, why? How does it make her feel? You can do this with just about any topic.
/r/seduction07/09/12 04:02 PM
1

If you can afford it, get therapy. Trust & abandonment issues are no picnic and it's not easy to just will them away. A good CBT practitioner can help you develop tools for coping as well as exercise.
/r/seduction05/09/12 09:36 PM
2

Yeah, this is exactly the kind of advice that the OP complained about. I suggest hes see a therapist and find out for real whether he has diagnosable social anxiety disorder. There are medicinal and CBT based approaches to tackling it. I would trust the advice of a therapist who knows my personal situation intimately over some dude on the Internet.
/r/seduction05/09/12 04:19 PM
1

First of all, introversion/extraversion is a continuum, not binary. Most people cluster toward the middle but still are on one side or the other. After 30 minutes at a party do you feel energized or depleted? If energized, you fall on the extraverted side. If depleted, the introverted side. I'm an INTJ too, but most people are surprised when I say I'm introverted. I have a little social anxiety at times, but mostly I just lose energy when I'm in groups of people. A one-on-one convo is great thou…
/r/seduction05/09/12 04:15 PM
5

I don't think he was comparing his oneitis to others, just explaining the thought patterns behind his particular case and how he got over it.
/r/seduction05/09/12 05:51 AM
4

Scrawny doesn't have to be bad if you wear clothes that fit well. Lots of girls love skinny rocker dudes.
/r/seduction04/09/12 03:37 PM
44

I believe that statistically most of our sex partners are likely to be Chinese, so this isn't really that big a deal. /s Srsly congrats man!
/r/seduction29/08/12 04:07 AM
2

Sure, if you dress reasonably well for your body type. A tan doesn't show up in a dark club. (Strippers all look way hotter in a dark club). Skinny is much easier to compensate for with style than fat. A lot girls cream for skinny rocker guys (like Steven Tyler)
/r/seduction20/08/12 01:16 AM
2

I can't speak to the driving thing, but as a forty-something I'll say you've got many, many good years ahead of you. By all means go out and meet women, have relationships, but don't feel any pressure to settle down or find "the one."
/r/seduction15/08/12 05:57 AM
3

Also, a no-risk way to practice approach is to go to a decent clothing store that employs females, pick out a bunch of stuff and ask one of the women to help you decide. Don't try to get her number or anything, just ask her opinion. I do this all the time. If I like two t-shirts, I'll just grab the nearest girl and say "I could use a female opinion. Blue or red?" No, it's not pickup per se, but it will help with the social anxiety. Focus on that first, the pickup can come later.
/r/seduction15/08/12 05:48 AM
2

All good suggestions so far. Another fun summertime activity is ice cream.
/r/seduction15/08/12 05:31 AM
1

My guess is that a lot of the long-lasting marriages them are by people who either: Married later in their twenties, not someone they met when they were 18 Are by relatively unattractive people who don't have a lot of other options - ugly people get married too. Stayed together for the children. Got lucky and found the right person when they were younger. I'm not saying you should wait for the perfect partner. I'm saying you should wait until you mature a little before you decide. As Dan Savage …
/r/seduction14/08/12 09:40 PM
2

Don't you think people change in their thirties, forties and seventies? Yes. That's why a lot of people get divorced.
/r/seduction13/08/12 11:48 PM
2

Practically everyone I know over the age of 30 says they don't recognize their younger selves. You may be an exception, but that doesn't make it bull shit. I've certainly changed a lot, and I'm happier now than ever. Edit to add: 70% of divorces are initiated by the woman. So even if the man thinks he's happy with the union, that doesn't mean he won't end up divorced anyway.
/r/seduction13/08/12 08:16 PM
1

That's great! But I still think you're the exception.
/r/seduction13/08/12 08:14 PM
1

It's easier to meet women, true, but as a guy in his forties I know a whole lot of men and women who regret marrying the guy or girl they met in college. They just don't have a lot in common. Also, to some of you this may sound you're dad talking, but odds are very strong that until at least the age of 27 you're mature enough yet to commit to someone for the very long term. It's not just having your shit together in terms of a career or knowing what you want out of life. It's about how to naviga…
/r/seduction13/08/12 08:13 PM
244

Even if you find a girl at 18-22, you're going to change a lot in the 5-10 years after college and what brought you together then may no longer apply. Ergo, spend those years learning how to meet girls, maybe have a serious relationship or two, but don't focus on finding "the one." You'll almost certainly be wrong. Trust me, I'm from the Internet.
/r/seduction13/08/12 03:44 AM
3

Even ugly or overweight girls? In my experience when a woman says she's "bad with men," she means that she picks the wrong guys, not that she doesn't get guys at all. I know some unattractive women who say they don't get asked out, but the reason is pretty obvious.
/r/seduction11/08/12 05:31 PM
2

I'd be interested in seeing this. I've seen a summary of the study but I believe it dates from the late 70s or early 80s.
/r/seduction11/08/12 05:27 PM
1

Dammit! I almost did exactly this not two hours ago but wussed out.
/r/seduction11/08/12 12:22 AM
1

+100 Due to taking anti-depressants I have a really hard time climaxing. I often have to reassure girls it's not their fault. I just treat it like it's no big deal and they seem to feel better about it. Some take it as a challenge. :-)
/r/seduction09/08/12 11:38 PM
4

Good post. Mark Manson wrote something similar about Thailand a while back: http://postmasculine.com/life-through-the-eyes-of-a-beautiful-woman
/r/seduction08/08/12 08:31 PM
4

"Wow, that was fun." or "Ok, you're cool enough."
/r/seduction08/08/12 04:08 AM
1

I'm an INTJ as well. One thing I've found that works is just to say something like "I hate small talk. How about we do some big talk?" Always gets a laugh.
/r/seduction08/08/12 04:02 AM
3

Nonsense. I can think of several times I've complimented their clothes and had it lead to more (makeout, sex etc). What I usually do is say something like "I like that dress on you. I can tell you have a sense of style." But even that's optional. I once F-closed a girl after opening with "nice watch."
/r/seduction07/08/12 01:14 AM
1

It's a good sign that you at least recognize it. I used to get defensive a lot and have worked really hard not to let those emotional hiccups ruin my mood. Here's a CBT trick I've done off an on over the years. Wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap it every time you catch yourself thinking negatively (or defensively or whatever it is you're working on). I usually wear it for at least a week and often much longer. Also, don't worry if a girl asks you about it. I usually make a joke about …
/r/seduction05/08/12 02:17 AM
1

Clear skin, petite and nice hair. Bonus points for dancers that have crazy hair swinging all over the place.
/r/seduction05/08/12 02:11 AM
1

One potential thing to investigate if you get blown out a lot is... is it possible you had bad breath during those times? No shame if you do -- I get it every now and then -- but it's mystifying because no one will tell you out of politeness. They'll just keep their distance and look for a chance to bail. There is a solution: a tongue scraper. I bought one a couple years ago and it makes a huge difference.
/r/seduction05/08/12 02:09 AM
1

As others have said, she's into you. The reason she waits for you to initiate things is because are taught growing up that "men like the chase." They learn game and don't even realize it.
/r/seduction05/08/12 02:01 AM
1

Also, do you find clubs fun? I generally hate them. But maybe you like them. In that case, go in and have fun. Jump on the dance floor and dance like nobody is watching. (Which is something I do enjoy, but at clubs the music is often so loud and the floor so crowded that it feels like a cattle call.)
/r/seduction05/08/12 01:53 AM
3

I take Zoloft. Pre-Zoloft I would go through periods where I just found nothing of interest in the world. I couldn't imagine ever being interested in reading a book, or riding my bike - anything. Now I just feel normal. Not wired or manic. I just feel like I want to engage with ideas, activities and experiences instead of trying to talk myself into them.
/r/seduction02/08/12 07:00 PM
2

Dude, you just described a friend of mine and his now-wife. He's 5'6" on good day and used to be quite fat. Now he's lean, does marathons and has a very hot wife. OTOH he does work for Google. ANd BTW my crossfit comments look kind of dickish now that I'm seeing them again. Sorry about that.
/r/seduction01/08/12 03:47 PM
3

One of my Crossfit coaches is also a USA Weightlifting Senior Coach. There are already NFL players doing it All things being equal, a guy who is a 5 will end up with a 5. But I do think good game can turn a 5 into a 7, and thus raise who he gets. I definitely date more attractive women than I used to. Part of that is a numbers game, but much more of it is learning to be bold and say what I want as opposed to just trying to please her. Edit to add: here's a 10 year NFL veteran who went paleo. I a…
/r/seduction01/08/12 03:22 PM
3

Good for you. Maybe you should join r/sleepwhenyoudie In the meantime some of us want to learn and share stuff, not get chastised because we're not just like you!!!! Neil Strauss has a girlfriend. Juggler recently re-married. Would you kick them out of seddit?
/r/seduction31/07/12 07:41 PM
1

I think they're yin & yang. Would a seddit geared toward girls not include tips on hair and makeup?
/r/seduction31/07/12 05:31 PM
2

Sorry, but I have a job and can't go out multiple times per week. Plus, some of us have done well enough to find we like girlfriends and so are not hitting bars & clubs sarging every weekend. You're describing people who have made PUA into a job or an obsession. If that's what you're looking for, maybe start a forum for PUA coaches.
/r/seduction31/07/12 05:27 PM
2

Great post. I went through a similar experience with my own divorce a few years ago. I feel like I've developed an almost Buddha-esque approach to abundance. If I'm with a girl, I enjoy the moment. It may lead to something bigger, it may not, but there's no sense tying myself in a know over what might be instead of enjoying what is. Women can sense this, and it makes me more attractive and fun to hang out with. We both win.
/r/seduction31/07/12 05:12 PM
1

I think he's saying he wants to have fun, and it sounds like he did.
/r/seduction31/07/12 05:09 PM
18

Ah, that explains a lot. Sex seems big and scary until you've done it a few times. After a while it becomes less of a big deal.
/r/seduction27/07/12 04:52 PM
4

You don't need to bang other girls instead. You just need to know and believe that you could bang other girls if you wanted to. When I'm out with a girl, I make a point of being social with other women. I don't overtly flirt in a sexual way, but I make them laugh, maybe tease them a little. IOW I make it obvious that I'm a guy who has (and always will have) options.
/r/seduction24/07/12 07:38 AM
25

Check out /r/howtonotgiveafuck/
/r/seduction23/07/12 07:43 PM
3

Congrats! I've also been trying to apply aspects of Buddhism in my life. The biggest one for me is "suffering comes from attachment." If you are attached to a specific outcome, suffering commences. I try to focus on experiencing the present moment and reacting only as appropriate, not as I think things "ought" to be. This is helpful in lots of areas beyond pickup. For example, I no longer get stressed out by slow traffic. Re: skinny guys - lots of chicks dig the skinny rocker look.
/r/seduction23/07/12 07:38 PM
1

I make an effort to try new things just to see if they might appeal. I don't do these to impress girls per se, but the more things you've done, the more you have to talk about. Some things I've tried in the last five years: Took up mountain unicycling (I'm not anywhere close to this guy, but it's inspring to watch) Salsa dance Played in a Brazilian drumming group Done a fair amount of international travel Various fitness boot camps, been doing Crossfit for the last two years Tried muay thai and …
/r/seduction21/07/12 05:24 PM
6

I went through a similar experience after my divorce. I had full-on clinical depression (not for the first time, but this episode was particularly bad). Long story short: I did therapy, started taking medication and spent about 18 months figuring out what I really wanted out of life (therapy helped a lot with this). I also realized that happiness is something you do, not feel. I constantly seek out new experiences (not just getting laid) and make an effort to cultivate randomness. Could be a dan…
/r/seduction18/07/12 09:58 PM
2

True, but it's easier to draw on competence in non-sexual areas as a source of confidence. That is, if you know you're a bad-ass programmer, or guitarist or mountain biker, it's a bit easier to use that situational confidence as source for general confidence. That said, my personal, ultimate goal is to not value myself based on accomplishments at all. More of a Buddhist mindset.
/r/seduction17/07/12 10:48 PM
1

This article is not about PUA per se, but I've adopted many of these practices myself and found that, because I am a more grounded, confident person, meeting women has naturally gotten a lot easier.
/r/seduction16/07/12 07:04 PM
2

Are you referring to Mick Jagger? He's never been known as a major drinker or drug user.
/r/seduction13/07/12 07:51 PM
2

That's cool. My main thing is, if you're used to a varied diet, it's hard to switch all at once to something much more limited. FWIW I do the Tim Ferriss Slow Carb Diet and it's worked great for me. I eat pretty much anything and as much as I want except sweets and carbs. Once a week I binge on both. It's easier to resist ice cream on Tuesday if I know I can eat as much as I want on Saturday.
/r/seduction13/07/12 05:23 PM
2

WRT to fitness, start small. Trying to change everything overnight is a recipe for failure. (Believe me, I know from personal experience. Another one of those things I wish I had know when I was younger.) Commit to walking a mile every day and stick to it for two weeks. Once you feel like you can do that, commit to going to the gym on specific days. For example, "I will go to the gym on Tuesday and Thursday at 5" is easier to sustain than "I will go to the gym twice a week." Same thing with diet…
/r/seduction13/07/12 04:30 PM
65

Stay in shape. Dress better. Don't use alcohol for courage. Don't take women too seriously. Edited to add: Try new things fearlessly - a class outside your major, join an intramural team, try an improv group etc. Hell, organize a protest.
/r/seduction13/07/12 12:48 AM
5

Eh, I don't think so. I thought they were all douchebags when I was an undergrad, but now a lot of my friends are ex-frat guys. It's like high school - no one gives a shit how cool you were then.
/r/seduction13/07/12 12:47 AM
3

Plus, a bitchy girl is unhappy. By choosing to be happy (or at least non-reactive) you already are way ahead of her in life.
/r/seduction09/07/12 10:55 PM
2

Nope. 21 or 22. I've known her for a while casually and so there's a certain level of intimacy.
/r/seduction09/07/12 10:54 PM
12

Ditto. Edit to add: today a girl nicely turned me down by saying she had a boyfriend. Actually, she didn't say it, she pulled up her hair to show me the two hickies on her neck. Good times!
/r/seduction09/07/12 08:32 PM
3

I dunno, I re-opened a flake via text once and ended up f-closing after I invited her to a strip club with me. We had already slept together once before though.
/r/seduction25/06/12 11:26 PM
3

Yeah, but the average (desirable) chick will order a salad and salmon while you get steak and a baked potato.
/r/seduction25/06/12 06:57 PM
1

This is excellent advice
/r/seduction22/06/12 03:10 PM
7

A variation I've used a couple times with good results: Me: You know, you can tell a lot about someone just from their handshake Her: Really? What does mine tell you Me: I'll tell you later
/r/seduction18/06/12 11:01 PM
3

Fashion sense in general, but shoes are an indicator of whether you're secretly a slob. My online dating profiles always start with "I have good teeth, good shoes and love my mother. What else could you possibly need to know?" I get good reactions to that, which I shamelessly stole from David D'Angelo.
/r/seduction16/06/12 09:47 AM
1

Actually... yeah. Those are evolutionary adaptation that don't usually apply in the modern world. Obviously in certain situations -- say, walking down a dangerous street late at night -- it's not a bad strategy to trust your instincts. But at a networking event? When visiting a new city as a tourist? Not so much.
/r/seduction01/06/12 11:17 PM
3

I largely agree. However, some women are rather introverted and give off a "don't talk to me" vibe more than others. Not just in bars when they have the bitch shield up, but all the time.
/r/seduction24/05/12 04:17 PM
4

Buy soft drinks. Usually you only pay for the first one and get free refills. Many places will even give you the first one free. [Edit] You can also say you're the designated driver. Bartenders like that someone there is sober besides themselves.
/r/seduction19/05/12 11:01 PM
40

Dang, I knew I was doing something wrong. Putting dick back in pants now.
/r/seduction15/05/12 09:31 PM
1

Fine, you know your life better than I do. But at least ask your doctor about it. Medical records are protected (though maybe not if you're in the military). If you hate your life, job is not so important.
/r/seduction15/05/12 04:09 PM
3

I don't have answer for the money part, except if you live in a college town there are often discount therapy available by students. And can you at least ask a doctor for a prescription for an SSRI like Zoloft? You sound like you're suffering from clinical depression. I have that too. The key phrase is "everything is just so pointless." I've definitely felt that before and found medication really helped a lot.
/r/seduction14/05/12 09:40 PM
1

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with them, I just mean that FRs tend to focus on "going out sarging" stuff. The creates the impression that success with women == going to clubs and bars.
/r/seduction14/05/12 09:37 PM
2

If you really are troubled by some of your thoughts, I highly recommend therapy. I've done it off and on for years and gotten a lot out of it.
/r/seduction14/05/12 09:20 PM
6

It's kind of selection bias in that most FRs are about going out with the guys and getting rowdy. I don't do that sort of thing very often. I don't go out sarging. I just meet people in my day to day life. It makes for a pretty boring FR to say "I went to five events last week and was only attracted to one girl at one event, so I asked her out and she said yes." (This actually happened to me last week.) But I definitely apply inner game ideas in that context.
/r/seduction14/05/12 09:18 PM
8

To me, oneitis is pining after a girl who either has already rejected you or for whom you don't have the balls to attempt to escalate. Shit or get off the pot. If you're really into a girl and she feels the same way, by all means go after it (but be willing to stop pursuing other girls in the meantime).
/r/seduction14/05/12 09:14 PM
2

In the Game he suggests saying "the party is over here" when approaching groups. I've had success with this, usually 2-3 people. I've also used this ironically, like at a business networking event.
/r/seduction13/05/12 07:07 PM
3

I have an online dating profile that opens with "I have good shoes, good teeth and love my mother. What else could you possibly need to know?" Stole that from David D'Angelo and it definitely works.
/r/seduction13/05/12 07:04 PM
2

I just read this and the preceding FR. You said in the last one that she doesn't drink, but in this one you drank two bottles of wine. Could she be a closet alcoholic? Not that that means you should dump her. I'm one, too, but have still managed to have lots of great relationships. But just be aware.
/r/seduction12/05/12 05:13 AM
3

It's bad advice because it's hard to act on, but it generally comes from people who already know you. The already know the "real" you and like it. The trick is, how do convey the "real" you in a short amount of time, i.e. in an opener. That said, I think that once you get past the first two minutes you really should be the "real" you.
/r/seduction10/05/12 09:48 PM
8

A lot of people drink because they're depressed, but excessive booze actually makes you more depressed. I'm guilty of this and the only solution was to stop drinking altogether. Try going a couple weeks without drinking and stop going out merely to party.
/r/seduction07/05/12 06:41 PM
3

Not hips, but girls have told me I have a nice ass since high school (25 years ago!) I still occasionally get comments. So for what it's worth some girls definitely check out asses.
/r/seduction07/05/12 02:23 AM
1

I feel like I do most of this pretty well. The only challenge for me is leaning in. My hearing is not very good thanks to years of being a drummer. I usually just tell the girl that, but curious if you have other suggestions?
/r/seduction04/05/12 08:43 PM
5

You know he's not real, right?
/r/seduction02/05/12 02:44 PM
1

I'm not especially good at turning things around, but I have found that just being non-responsive is helpful in general. If I don't know what to say, I just look at her and think about it. Even if I don't think of a good comeback, I feel better about maintaining my self control. If nothing else, I usually at least agree and amplify. "Are you gay?" "Oh yeah, I'm such a fag. I love cock, don't you?" If nothing else it keeps the interaction interesting and I feel like I'm in control.
/r/seduction01/05/12 02:36 AM
15

Taking care of yourself as you age is really important for women. Get manicures & pedicures, wear sexy clothes, stay trim, and for god's sake wear sunscreen on your face.
/r/seduction28/04/12 05:31 PM
2

We can agree to disagree. My point is that, in a given moment, if there were no ad displayed, there would be no dissatisfaction in that moment. Yeah, the iPod is awesome, but if you didn't know about and didn't see an add with the dancing silhouettes, you would not feel as dissatisfied with your present state.
/r/seduction23/04/12 12:23 AM
7

This is a great synopsis. The goal of advertising is to make you feel at bad about your current situation, and to believe that the product offered will cure that sadness. It can be something mundane like floor wax ("my floor will no longer look like shit") or aspirational like an iPhone ("my boring life will become awesome"). If you get the target emotionally engaged, the next step is get them to take action, which is why so many TV ads end with "Call now at 800-xxx-xxxx." They don't want there …
/r/seduction22/04/12 06:03 PM
7

She answers: "Earth" or "2012" me: "Just wanted to be sure. Hi, my name's drumdance. What's yours?" or if she gives you a random nonsensical answer: "I knew something seemed wrong. Hi, my name's drumdance from [Earth or the year 2012]. What's yours?"
/r/seduction18/04/12 01:42 AM
2

A third one that I've seen happen a lot is they start to explain their reasoning and realize they were wrong to begin with. However, agree with others that there's no point in being that guy unless it's really important. My ex holds all kinds of crazy beliefs that I thought were ridiculous, but I didn't see much point in arguing them with her unless she wanted me to have the same beliefs (which she usually didn't).
/r/seduction17/04/12 10:44 PM
2

"Really? Why do you say that? I thought the opposite."
/r/seduction17/04/12 09:48 PM
14

Good stuff. The random question thing reminds me of a couple I used to ask, but have forgotten to do recently. me: "I have a quick question for you" her: ? me: "What planet are we on?" her: smile Alternative version: "what year is this?"
/r/seduction17/04/12 09:25 PM
1

You are living proof
/r/seduction17/04/12 06:54 PM
1

Chris Rock makes jokes all the time about black people. Is he racist? No. Because he's telling a joke. Jesus, prime time is full of sitcoms about incompetent men behaving like stereotypical men. Nobody cares.
/r/seduction17/04/12 05:37 PM
2

But it was a joke nonetheless, not misogyny.
/r/seduction17/04/12 04:06 PM
1

Let's just agree to disagree. I've gotten laid plenty and developed multiple multi-year relationships after paying for a cup of coffee or a drink on the first date. I will stick with that method.
/r/seduction16/04/12 09:42 PM
1

You said she isn't worth the time. I'll give her a few more chances than you will.
/r/seduction16/04/12 09:11 PM
1

Ah yes, you can draw conclusions about a woman simply based on whether she likes the feeling it gives her when you buy her a cup of coffee on the first date.
/r/seduction16/04/12 08:59 PM
2

Chinese women are like this too. (I was married to one for five years.)
/r/seduction16/04/12 08:52 PM
1

Jesus, man, ease off. I also open doors for girls, does that make me a simpering beta? And as it happens just the other day a (male) friend of mine bought me coffee. What a pussy, eh? Like I said, some women judge you based on this. If you have really tight game or a fucking chip on your shoulder and absolutely have to prove you are not needy goddammit because blah blah blah, go for it. Pound that pussy while counting the money you saved, bro. And I don't know where you got the idea that I "have…
/r/seduction16/04/12 08:48 PM
1

Jesus, man, sometimes paying for something is just paying for something, it's not a test of your manhood. Like I said below, if you have super-tight game, by all means do it. I'd rather just pay the $5 and remove the risk.
/r/seduction16/04/12 07:21 PM
2

If you've got tight game, then you can get away with not paying. But I'd rather just spend the $5 for her drink and remove it as a point of risk.
/r/seduction16/04/12 02:20 AM
4

Yawn. I've been on hundreds and hundreds of dates. I'm not going in from a position of neediness. I've tried paying and not paying and found that paying for something small like a drink or coffee can make a difference in the outcome. How old are you? Older women in particular notice this kind of thing because they're sick of dating douchebags.
/r/seduction16/04/12 12:38 AM
7

I always pay because many women do judge you based on this. That said, the first date is always coffee or a drink.
/r/seduction16/04/12 12:11 AM
17

He's not saying all women are manipulative bitches or that you should never compromise. Rather, he's saying that you are responsible for your own happiness, and that a checklist mentality often works against this. I got divorced a couple years ago after a 6 year relationship. I was devastated at first, even though it was very amicable. But then I realized that I had been living life according to a script - college, dating, marriage, kids, grandkids, old age, die. There is no script. There is a g…
/r/seduction15/04/12 05:28 PM
3

She will never think you're a pussy for not starting a relationship. She very likely will think you're an asshole if you don't commit for the long term, but first she will do everything possible to get you to commit. That's her problem. And yeah, in my experience it's the woman show says "so where is this going...?" That's a good sign if what you want is a relationship. It means she's very attached.
/r/seduction15/04/12 05:21 PM
14

No. It's just a bunch of trampolines next to each other, plus angled walls that are also trampolines. 3 across by, I dunno, 6-8 long? Awesome fun and a good workout.
/r/seduction12/04/12 11:26 PM
2

Talk about the future with her during the hookup. Nothing serious, but how you'd like to go to a concert or a football game or whatever and ask if she wants to go.
/r/seduction12/04/12 11:24 PM
40

Trampoline park, IMAX, putt-putt, ice cream from the best ice cream place in your area, bowling, karaoke, Dave & Busters (esp the dance game for the girl), hookah bar, the zoo, rock climbing/climbing gym, ice skating, planetarium, salsa lessons, tango lessons. If you have a kid sister/brother/niece/nephew, ask her to help you pick out a toy at Toys R Us. One of my best dates was shopping for Halloween costumes
/r/seduction12/04/12 11:16 PM
75

I once did this to a girl. I knew what I had planned but didn't tell her what it was. I told her to bring clothes she didn't mind sweating in. She went nuts with anticipation, texting me all the time trying to guess. (The actual date was to a trampoline park. Lots of fun.)
/r/seduction12/04/12 11:11 PM
1

"Did you ever see that movie the Social Network? I'm that guy." I did that last night. I also told her I was a spy, an English teacher, an astronaut and an entrepreneur. Basically, every time she asked I gave a different answer.
/r/seduction12/04/12 08:43 PM
2

Unless you're George Costanza. "I'm unemployed and live with my parents."
/r/seduction12/04/12 08:38 PM
2

Wayne Elise (aka Juggler) advocates saying "Do you really wanna know, or are you just making conversation?" His theory is that it increases her investment in your answer because she has to sell her interest in you.
/r/seduction12/04/12 08:36 PM
2

Yeah, you screwed up, but you can't unring that bell. Treat it as a life lesson. Going forward, you have to be open & honest with both A & B. Also, you & B might want to set a ground rule of not talking about A. If she wants to vent, tell her to call a girlfriend. Maybe the same thing with A, though IMO he gets more leeway since he's the odd man out.
/r/seduction11/04/12 11:19 PM
1

I would be direct about it. "I get the feeling you're scared of me. What's up with that?" [smile] If she denies it, bring up how she won't come to your place. Again, keep it light but direct. "What, are you scared I'll bite?"
/r/seduction11/04/12 09:15 PM
1

This one wins the thread.
/r/seduction11/04/12 09:10 PM
10

Wow, 5 #-closes on 15 approaches. Impressive!
/r/seduction11/04/12 03:30 PM
1

Wow, Kizomba in particular looks really hot.
/r/seduction11/04/12 08:02 AM
1

I agree. I view these strategies as just tools that lead to more authentic relationships.
/r/seduction09/04/12 07:54 PM
4

Yeah, it's more of push-pull than freezeout. When I sense resistance I often do things like get up to go to the bathroom, check my phone, any excuse to pull away. Then when I come back I don't just pick up where I left off. I chit-chat with her, light kisses etc. until the escalation happens naturally. OTOH in this case I probably would've said "yeah, isn't it crazy?"
/r/seduction09/04/12 04:58 PM
4

True, but you can learn from him nonetheless. What makes Don Draper an introvert is, he thinks about what he's going to say instead of just blurting it out. While he's thinking, he wears a slightly condescending facial expression to suggest he's evaluating whether you're worth his time. Both of those can be learned.
/r/seduction09/04/12 04:54 PM
7

That's my definition and I'm like you. Like you, I create the impression of being an extrovert. Most people are surprised to find out I'm really an introvert. A girl I dated who's extremely extroverted insisted for the longest time that I was really an extrovert too, but she finally came around.
/r/seduction09/04/12 04:52 PM
1

As I said, there is risk. But on average, a guy who is into you will wait you out for 3 dates. And true lovey-dovey connections rarely form on a bar or a low-key first date.
/r/seduction09/04/12 04:22 PM
1

My feeling exactly. I don't care about what people think about "the community." I only care about how individual people feel about me. I've learned a lot from this and other forums, and I've met a lot of great women (and men for that matter) as a result. Many of them are still in my life because I always treat them with respect and never lie.
/r/seduction09/04/12 03:00 AM
3

The idea that human relationships are a game long precedes the seduction community. The book Games People Play by Erick Berne was written in the sixties. The theories it outlines were later popularized by the book I'm Ok, You're Ok I first got interested in this stuff after taking a sales training program that drew on a lot of the ideas in Games People Play. Later when I read The Game I saw a lot of similarities. Also, it uses a lot of the ideas outlined in Influence: The Psychology of Persuasio…
/r/seduction09/04/12 02:56 AM
1

You're right, it's not masculine, which is why women had such a leg up for so long. They start learning about social dynamics in fifth grade. Talking about emotions is not masculine either, but in the right context it's 1) helpful for you to get your head on straight and 2) great at sealing the deal with a woman.
/r/seduction09/04/12 02:53 AM
3

Tell them you can't hook up that night, but give them your number. See if they invite you on an actual date instead of Netflix at their place. Not that I advocate a nice dinner, just a willingness to go out for a drink or coffee and be seen in your presence.
/r/seduction09/04/12 02:40 AM
1

I agree with you that holding out for sex has some risk, but not a lot. If she wants to stop seeing guys that only want her for sex, she has to select them out. The only way to do that is withhold. But I agree that you shouldn't do it too long. Also, go on actual dates, not just hanging out.
/r/seduction09/04/12 02:37 AM
4

Yes, but women don't know this about a given man. They just know they're attracted to him and want a relationship. It doesn't matter if he's fighting that off all day long, but whether he's fighting her off. That's why push-pull works so well. Women (mistakenly) think that the Rules works on men because the same thing works on them. They don't want to admit that the best way to get and keep a man is 1) be hot 2) don't be crazy. Oh and 3) stay hot.
/r/seduction09/04/12 02:35 AM
6

If you were attracted, definitely continue the conversation. Had you done any kino to that point? If not, now's the time. She's already shown her cards so you could just say "Give me a hug," hold it for as long as it feels good, then release and say "that was nice. Let's go outside for some air."
/r/seduction09/04/12 02:26 AM
4

"I know."
/r/seduction09/04/12 01:53 AM
1

How old is she? I personally believe nobody should get married before the age of 30 and preferably 35. You may have saved her from making a big mistake. Not that I think you're a hero or anything for pushing through with it. Mostly just meh. I've hooked up with married women before so I'm not judging.
/r/seduction09/04/12 01:46 AM
2

Well, I've done both and preferred the ones with a lot more partners. They were great in bed and comfortable with their sexuality. Smart, too. Plus you're intermixing biological evolution and cultural evolution. Read Sex at Dawn. It provides compelling evidence that sexual monogamy was not the norm before agriculture. In a nutshell, agriculture led to the cultural construct of private propert, which was then extended to women.
/r/seduction09/04/12 12:51 AM
4

Not to say you're wrong about the girl you're talking about, but in my experience the ones raised in strict religious environments are the wildest ones of all. [Edit] I agree that monogamy does not work particularly well for humans.
/r/seduction08/04/12 11:23 PM
-3

You might be giving off an easy vibe. Are you super flirty, especially at parties and bars? And unfortunately looks do matter. The only way to evaluate that would be for you to post a photo.
/r/seduction08/04/12 11:21 PM
5

Oh I don't disagree that men want relationships. What I mean is they have power in whether they grant a woman (exclusive) access. I think this is why social proof works so well. A slightly jealous woman wants to "win" the alpha male for herself. Conversely, a woman has power in whether she grants a man access to sex. Ergo, we learn how to break through LMR, while women learn how to keep a guy at arms length (i.e. in The Rules).
/r/seduction08/04/12 11:17 PM
1

Touche. I meant to post that in another thread.
/r/seduction08/04/12 11:15 PM
3

Now we're into No True Scotsman territory. If you think all women are liars, then anything they say must be a lie. And what?! Women's infidelities are more damaging? I grant that women tend to cheat for emotional reasons more than men, but that's precisely why they think men cheating is such a big deal. Most women cannot as easily separate sex from emotion. If a guy cheats purely to get his rocks off, the woman will still think there must be more to it than that. Ergo, the relationship is seriou…
/r/seduction08/04/12 11:11 PM
2

A lot of girls think he's hot. He has a sexual energy that women love. Combine that with the fact that he's hilarious and he could date supermodels even without the fame. He'd be the sexy/funny guy at the exclusive NY gallery opening that all the chicks stand around while he cracks jokes.
/r/seduction08/04/12 09:42 PM
42

I once read an interesting aphorism: "Women are the gatekeepers to sex. Men are the gatekeepers to relationships." Contrary to popular belief among women, your choice to have/not-have sex with a guy won't affect his attraction to you. However, guys who only want you for sex usually will give up after 2-3 dates. If you like the sex you're having, by all means keep having it. But don't treat it as an indicator of anything. You can stop the booty calls by not replying to his calls, but he won't sud…
/r/seduction08/04/12 09:05 PM
5

That they have the capacity does not mean they sleep around. Slut shaming still applies. Where I think it does matter is relationship longevity. Something like 70% of divorces are initiated by the woman. My guess is a huge chunk of those are because of infidelity by the man. Another chunk is women seeking something better. Sometimes they find it while still in the marriage, other times they wait. I've dated lots of divorced women and cant think of a single one who cheated before ending the marri…
/r/seduction08/04/12 08:59 PM
5

For the gay question, try agreeing and amplifying: "Oh yeah, I'm gayer than gay. I love the Village People!" "Gay, straight, bi, I hate labels. Like, why is it that if a girl sleeps with a lot of guys, she's called a slut, but if a guy does it he's called gay?"
/r/seduction08/04/12 05:37 PM
1

你中问说的不好。
/r/seduction08/04/12 05:32 PM
3

Mystery is oversold in movies for reasons others have mentioned. You can be mysterious while still being social. I'm not particularly good at that, but I've seen people succeed with it by being playfully evasive. So if a girl asks what you do for a living, say something like "I'm an astronaut." She'll either not believe your or say "Really?" Answer with "maybe." David D'Angelo advises to never give a woman a straight answer unless the answer is "no." Again, I'm not particularly good at that, but…
/r/seduction08/04/12 05:29 PM
1

LOL. I liked it but agree that's it totally unrealistic.
/r/seduction08/04/12 05:23 PM
2

I've never been scared of success per se, more along the lines of "I hope I don't fuck this up." I even told a girl that on a date once. Didn't matter. We slept together that night. Eye contact is very powerful because it triggers a fight or flight response in men. With women I think it's a little different. They still feel the anxiety (if they're attracted to you), but in their case most of them want to be conquered by a man. (A metaphor, don't take that too seriously. They want to submit to th…
/r/seduction08/04/12 05:20 PM
12

You're experiencing confirmation bias based on a small sample size. You think that "all women" are a certain way when in fact most of them are not. Clubs can especially fuck with your head because they tend to attract superficial people. Google "dating advice blogs." They're overwhelmingly directed toward women because they spend a lot of time trying to understand why guys do certain things. (Or more often not doing things like calling them the day after they hooked up.)
/r/seduction08/04/12 05:13 PM
1

Actually, the advice to just ask him out is good. You don't need to worry about DHV and all that jazz because, honestly, most guys don't care. It sounds like he's really stuck in his head and has low self esteem. In this situation your best bet is to just to flat-out ask him "are you attracted to me?" If he says yes (which I guarantee he will), say "then what's a girl gotta do to get you to make a move?" Oh, and the thing about awkward situations is, it's only awkward because neither of you is w…
/r/seduction08/04/12 05:09 PM
3

Don't worry about not getting hard. I guarantee she's more worried about it than you are. Specifically she's worried that you don't think she's hot. If you want to see her again, ask her out for something low key like happy hour or coffee, and focus on getting to know her as a person. She'll be glad you're still interested and especially that you think of her as something besides an easy lay. If the date goes well and you feel comfortable with each other, invite her back to your place for a nigh…
/r/seduction08/04/12 04:59 PM
12

For every girl that is willing to switch, there are 10 who tie themselves in knots because the guy didn't call/text the day after.
/r/seduction08/04/12 04:53 PM
1

If you do the spin, pull her close and put your arms around her. Dance for a bit then dip her in an over-the-top tango sort of way. They're usually surprised but love it. They never get dipped when dancing with their friends.
/r/seduction08/04/12 04:47 PM
6

If drinking helps you loosen up, then do it, but don't let yourself get out of control. Pretty soon you're slurring your words and it's hard to concentrate. And it can become a crutch. You start to think (or more accurately feel, because most things we do are driven by emotion) that the only way you can be social or meet women is if you're drunk. This is basically state dependent learning. Dancing wise, at a club there is no such thing as "good." There is just having fun. If you watch the girls,…
/r/seduction07/04/12 11:38 PM
16

Don't get drunk Conversations are almost impossible because of the noise, so... Dance like no one is watching If you make eye contact with a girl on the dance floor, hold it, smile and start dancing with her. Repeat as necessary.
/r/seduction07/04/12 11:00 PM
3

I almost always go back to my place unless I'm traveling. But I live alone and have a pretty awesome bachelor pad. A girl I've been seeing recently told me that, when it comes to sex, the two things she needs are safety and respect. If those two things are present she's down for anything (and I do mean anything). While I didn't make a conscious effort to do it, I think my place provides both of those.
/r/seduction07/04/12 10:57 PM
1

If what you're doing works, then more power to you. But surely you see that a lot of people have trouble "just being themselves." They are already in their heads thinking about rules and whatnot. Game is just a framework for thinking about that kind of stuff in a more directed manner. Once I learned some of the basics I realized that I already had all the things I needed to succeeded, I was just doing a poor job of presenting it, mostly because I was worried too much about what others might thin…
/r/seduction07/04/12 07:37 PM
1

The only thing I would've done differently is, instead of saying "you're cute," say something like "you have a good energy about you" or, if she dresses well, "I like your style. It's nice to meet a woman who has good fashion sense." The one who said you were too forward, don't worry about it. Unlike her, you were <em>not</em> interested in making friends. You had different agendas, neither of which was "wrong." Just mismatched. Same with last one. She may well have been taken, so don't beat you…
/r/seduction07/04/12 07:31 PM
1

If you're skinny, you will attract a certain type of girl who goes for that (especially the skinny rocker type or hipster), and there are others who don't like it. Don't worry about those. I'm very fit and more on the muscular side, and a lot of women dig it, but I nonetheless get rejected all the time. It did help my confidence, however. Agree with Theyus that you shouldn't waste your time chasing exes and friendzoners. There are over three billion other women on the planet. Focus on those.
/r/seduction07/04/12 07:25 PM
0

+1000
/r/seduction07/04/12 07:18 PM
1

Another good book is The Power of Now. The past and future are just illusions constructed by your mind. Some people are more burdened by the past, others worry too much about the future. I used to worry a lot about the future, or think that I wouldn't be happy until I accomplished certain things. Over time I learned to just not worry about that and focus on doing things that make me happy in the present. Re: CBT, one technique that's worked for me is to wear a rubber band around my wrist and sna…
/r/seduction07/04/12 07:14 PM
12

My thoughts: Haters gonna hate PUA will always have a negative reputation. Arguing about this stuff is still fun The best you can do is educate people one-on-one. IME most girls I've dated find this stuff intriguing, frequently asking to borrow The Game It's like talk radio - the people who really disapprove will rant, but meanwhile a lot of FA types will be intrigued and quietly set about learning more
/r/seduction07/04/12 07:06 PM
1

Yeah, I don't disagree that what he said is not a neg. Only that I don't think it's necessarily DLV or needy. When I first learned about this stuff I overcompensated on the cocky stuff. And I had some success with it, but I started dialing it back and turned up the authenticity a notch -- that is, I allowed myself to be more vulnerable, not needy -- and it's worked out great. Women (and men, for that matter) tell me I exude confidence and have great masculine energy.
/r/seduction07/04/12 06:57 PM
2

I don't think it's needy. It might look like that on the screen, but you can say stuff like this playfully. A friend of mine who's extremely successful with women sometimes does what he calls "loser game." He mockingly talks about how sad his life is at home because he can't cook, spends too much time on the internet, watches too much TV etc. It always elicits an "awwww" response from women, which leads to a hug and offers to cook dinner for him and... you get the picture.
/r/seduction07/04/12 06:36 PM
2

There are a couple things you can do with that guitar ability: Put yourself in situations where you get to display your knowledge and talent. That is, join a band, go to concerts and chat up people about the music, offer free lessons, take your guitar and play on a pedestrian mall etc. When around a girl, find an excuse to talk about guitar and music. Don't brag about how good you are. Just talk about how much you love to play and how it makes you feel. Draw on the knowledge that you kick ass at…
/r/seduction07/04/12 05:54 PM
4

On the clothing front, do you have any friends who are girls? Ask them to help you pick out clothes at somewhere inexpensive like Ross, TJ Maxx or even a thrift store. Women love doing this. Even if you don't have a friend, go to the store and ask the women working there. It's their job and many of them like giving advice. Just be honest: "Excuse me, I have terrible fashion sense. Think you can give me some advice?" On the confidence front, don't think of it as an internal thing you have to cont…
/r/seduction07/04/12 12:45 AM
3

I've heard countless stories from women about dates with hot guys who can't carry a conversation. Here's an example. Looks definitely help, but they're only one piece of the attraction puzzle. On that front, one thing I've notice a lot of girls like (at least on me) is well developed biceps. Hit the gym and lift some weights. Even if you're overweight, you'll develop a hardness to your muscle that girls will notice.
/r/seduction07/04/12 12:37 AM
1

I've had a lot of success with a profile that opens with qualifiers. Before saying anything about myself, I say that I'm happily single but would love to find someone who gives me butterflies in my stomach. Then I ask, "can you trigger that in me?" And follow up with a list of things I'm looking for: Happy with your life Fit & active Professional Fun to spend to time with And especially intelligent When talking about myself, I don't make a big deal about being super-active or fit, but instead sa…
/r/seduction07/04/12 12:32 AM
1

You basically just described Charles Bukowski, who I would've loved to hang out with.
/r/seduction07/04/12 12:23 AM
1

In my experience, the best approach has always been to 1) be honest and 2) leave it to them to ask questions. Don't make any assumptions about whether one or the other is going to fall for you. And if one asks "where is this going?" tell her what you wrote above: you're not ready to dive into a relationship. Then the decision is up to her. She may decide to bolt, and that's her right. But she may decide to stick with you. Being honest, and pointedly so, provides comfort. I've always made a point…
/r/seduction06/04/12 04:20 AM
2

No, I don't think that's what she was saying. She was saying she's a little scared and worried that she may not be good enough for you. I went out with a 19 yo once. She asked me how old I was (over text). I answered that I was 42, but instead of apologizing for it, I treated it as a suggestion that I'm out of her league. I asked her if my age intimidated me. She said "a little," but it didn't stop us from going out. To an 18 yo girl, a guy who has confidence, a real career, experience and wisdo…
/r/seduction05/04/12 06:03 PM
2

A friend of mine in his late 30s who has hooked up with lots of college age women uses this as a qualifier. He'll say something like "18? Hmmmm... I think I can work with that." Don't linger there, though. Just smile and transition to asking her name.
/r/seduction05/04/12 03:45 AM
1

She was definitely into you. I would've probably said something like: "No. I'm terrible in bed, get confused about what goes where and have a really small penis. Will you go easy on me?" [Big grin] In my experience a girl who says something like this is testing to see if you're a braggart. Women like cocky guys, but they don't like guys who are trying to impress them. And they take note if do the exact opposite of bragging without coming across as pathetic or needy. A friend of mine has had grea…
/r/seduction05/04/12 03:38 AM
3

Smartest thing I ever did was buy some candles for my bedroom and set up speakers that I could stream my Pandora Ray LaMontagne station to.
/r/seduction05/04/12 03:31 AM
1

The example you gave is pretty standard for me, though first date sex is rare. I don't try for it, but it's happened a couple times. The more common scenario for sex is date 3 or 4. One caveat: I've been on a lot of first dates where I just wasn't that attracted and so didn't follow through. (And there have been a few who rejected my attempts for a second date, so it's not like I never get rejected.) One thing that really helped me was to go on a lot of first dates one after another. It's good p…
/r/seduction05/04/12 03:17 AM
2

I think you handled this pretty well. An alternative approach would be, instead of calling her out as having game, asking her why she's so quiet. She may not take the bait, but it might have put her in a defensive mode and gotten her to open up a little. (I would only have done this at the beginning, later she was just being a bitch and I would've responded the same way you did.) I've been dating a girl recently who doesn't say much until you really get to know her. At first I felt a little anxi…
/r/seduction04/04/12 06:00 PM
9

Being a leader is not about being better or one step ahead. It's about knowing where you want to go. Others may choose to follow you, or they may not. Regardless, they won't do it based on whether you are better or smarter, but because you have a compelling vision.
/r/seduction31/03/12 02:57 AM
1

I'm like that too. Lately since I learned about game I've been interested in observing non-verbal stuff. Not just in women, but in all people. Another thing I've played with of late is to be more direct in conversation with women -- i.e. telling them I'm attracted to them. And also just shutting up and lock eyes.
/r/seduction31/03/12 02:48 AM
3

Ryan Gosling in Drive. Never breaks eye contact, never blinks, talks at a rate of about one word every three minutes. Clint Eastwood in pretty much anything, but especially The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly James Bond, esp Sean Connery and Daniel Craig. Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can - a con man who realizes you can get away with anything if you act like you're the boss.
/r/seduction31/03/12 02:43 AM
3

Yeah, it's a fun conversational topic. Really good for building comfort. In my experience most women don't know or don't remember their type. But that's almost better because you can explore the four areas in detail and help them pinpoint an answer.
/r/seduction27/03/12 10:32 PM
11

It's still fun to talk about with girls. Kind of like astrology for people who hate astrology.
/r/seduction27/03/12 10:29 PM
1

Good stuff. I actually read Influence before I ever heard of the Game and it was the similarities (even in terminology like "social proof") that intrigued me. I had also taken a sales training class that had some similar ideas. [Edit] In particular, the importance of not acting like every other salesman (or AFC in PUA speak). And... I happen to unicycle too. It's a great workout.
/r/seduction21/03/12 05:14 PM
1

Yes, but only one party to the situation will become more attracted to the other if s/he takes the lead.
/r/seduction20/03/12 11:17 PM
8

neither one is willing to propose an idea that the other person doesn't like. This is an important realization, but it goes deeper than that. Women love it when a guy puts a stake in the ground and sets up a date. I always used to hesitate on this because my experience is that women are more picky than men when it comes to food, movies etc. Which is generally true, but in this one area it pays to have an option at the ready. She can always suggest something else if she doesn't like it. And good …
/r/seduction20/03/12 04:29 PM
8

Exactly. There is nothing wrong with calmly saying "I feel X and the reason is because you did Y." Flying off the handle or saying something accusatory like "You ALWAYS do Y and you know I don't like it" will get you nowhere. A great book on relationships is John Gottman's The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Don't be put off by the word "marriage." What he says applies to all relationships.) Actually, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is surprisingly good too. [Edit:typos]
/r/seduction19/03/12 08:04 PM
5

I call this a success as well. Think back to how you would've handled this 6 months ago (i.e. done nothing at all). The journey is the reward.
/r/seduction17/03/12 06:59 PM
4

Another good one: You: "Hey, can I see your hand for second?" She gives your hand. Look at it intensely for a second, then: "Thanks, I'm just taking a survey" or (if you looked at her palm) "You have a long retard line. The retard is strong in this one." (smile)
/r/seduction14/03/12 08:48 PM
3

Lots of good advice here, so much that it can be a little overwhelming. My recommendation is you find one people-pleasing behavior you have and see if you can eliminate it. Example: I have a tendency to validate everything other people say with verbal agreement or exaggerated facial expressions (i.e. a frown if s/he is telling you about something bad that happened or say "that is awesome" to something that's only mediocre). I've worked to eliminate this and have mostly been successful. The time …
/r/seduction07/03/12 08:33 PM
2

I personally hate clubs because they are just so goddamn loud. It's impossible to have a conversation.
/r/seduction06/03/12 04:51 PM
23

Stop staring at your phone and listening to music in public situations. Instead, look around you and smile at guys you find attractive.
/r/seduction06/03/12 04:43 PM
1

Again, that means they're not your friend. People say "nothing" all the time. It's a reflex.
/r/seduction06/03/12 04:31 AM
3

I'd say there's a grain of truth to the original assertion. No, women do now have higher value than men, but they do judge them based on "rules" they learned from an early age. Read dating blogs written by women. They are chock full of stories about social awkwardness, creepy behavior, boring first dates ad infinitum. Men do not write blogs like this because most of us are clueless. Learning some of the "rules" that women know intuitively is useful.
/r/seduction05/03/12 04:55 PM
1

In that particular case I might say "what do you mean nothing? It sounds like you have a party going on." If you don't feel like you can even playfully call someone out on something like that, then they're not your friend.
/r/seduction04/03/12 01:00 AM
1

If it's this important to you, try practicing radical honesty. Some people live by it, but others find it exhausting. I try to be honest in everything I do, especially in romantic relationships, but what's often forgotten is that language is an imprecise communication mechanism. There's brutal honesty and then there's authenticity. They are not always the same.
/r/seduction03/03/12 06:17 PM
1

You can definitely meet attractive, quality women through online dating, but you have to create a compelling profile. Read blogs by women about online dating. This is one area where their advice is good. They talk about the red flags they look for. Hint: don't post a picture of you with your shirt off, standing next to your car, or holding a big fish you caught on that trip with your buddies.
/r/seduction03/03/12 05:59 PM
1

+1 The whole LMR thing is often misunderstood. It's not about getting her to submit to your will. It's about making it both exciting and safe enough for her to do what she already wants to do.
/r/seduction03/03/12 05:53 PM
5

Take an acting class, particularly one that does Meisner technique. It's scary but also a rush. Also consider auditioning for a play in a community theater company.
/r/seduction02/03/12 08:54 PM
1

As long as you are not lying, this is not a problem.
/r/seduction27/02/12 08:03 PM
4

It's no more impossible to succeed with women without objectification than it is to succeed at making male friends. Just like with men, don't put women on a pedestal and say what you really think. As an aside, this is where negging is misunderstood. My closest personal friends and I do nothing but exchange insults. It's the male version of teasing.
/r/seduction27/02/12 08:02 PM
5

This is likely the result of some kind of childhood trauma. Children are not born to hate women any more than they are born racist.
/r/seduction27/02/12 08:00 PM
15

"What's that on your shirt?" [point to spot about halfway down her shirt] She looks down. Run your hand up and poke her in the face - "Jeez, I can't believe you fell for that old joke." Always gets a laugh.
/r/seduction27/02/12 06:22 PM
1

As it happens, I'm planning a trip to Europe for this summer. :) Last summer I did Australia. My goal every year is to do at least one foreign trip or a once-in-a-lifetime trip in the US (i.e. camping Grand Canyon)
/r/seduction22/02/12 06:39 PM
1

I live in a super-healthy town full of triathletes and such where this kind of talk is common. No need to hate.
/r/seduction22/02/12 12:05 AM
4

You won't regret it after you're dead, but you certainly may regret it while you're still alive. I'm in my forties and regret that I didn't bum around Europe for at least a month or two in my twenties. I don't dwell on it, but it does motivate me to seize the day whenever feasible. [Edit] Also, there's the chance that events might permanently affect your ability to enjoy all that life has to offer. My aunt is 80 and regrets that she never visited Australia and now probably never will (she told m…
/r/seduction22/02/12 12:02 AM
2

Opening, period. Especially if I'm not feeling it. I've had so many nice surprises come from just saying hello.
/r/seduction21/02/12 11:58 PM
1

Makes sense. Back to the original thread - I do believe women can lose attraction to a guy who doesn't pay. I start with coffee because it only costs a few bucks. Then if I don't like her or there's no chemistry, it's no big deal. But if I see potential I don't have a problem with buying dinner.
/r/seduction21/02/12 04:59 AM
1

I should've been clearer. Most first dates that are coffee dates are from meeting women online. In those cases I have not seen her in person first, so I don't want to invest too much (and I should add she very likely feels the same way). That said, last week I had a coffee date go all the way. Started with coffee, then I suggested dinner, then I suggested going back to my place to watch a DVD. I've also had the initial meet in a coffee place later go all the way after some texting (not from onli…
/r/seduction21/02/12 04:10 AM
2

Logic doesn't matter. What matters is how the girl feels. It's entirely possible for a woman to lose attraction because you don't pay, and yet still not be a gold digger.
/r/seduction19/02/12 04:48 AM
3

As others have said, not going for the kiss sooner was your main mistake. I almost always pay for dates just to remove it as a potential issue. Usually by the third date a girl will insist on paying. [Edit] Also, first date is almost always coffee, so very inexpensive. Second is either somewhere nicer if I've gotten strong interest or an activity like hiking if I'm not sure.
/r/seduction19/02/12 04:43 AM
3

There's eye contact and there's staring. If you just stare at a girl from across the room, that's creepy (though holding eye contact for a second and then smiling is fine). But holding it while you converse creates tension. It's fine to break it every now and then, especially if you're looking away while you think of your next point. But notice when you look away out of fear and see if you can hold it past that. Eye contact triggers a fight or flight response, hence the fear. At zoos they ask yo…
/r/seduction18/02/12 04:49 PM
3

Alternative: "Do you know somebody I can sell a bunch of ecstasy to?" Meh. Maybe not.
/r/seduction16/02/12 10:03 PM
0

There are also tons of dating advice blogs geared toward women. Think Carrie Bradshaw in Sex in the City.
/r/seduction15/02/12 09:32 PM
1

The eye contact in Drive is amazing. He never blinks. I tried holding my eyes open as long as he did and it was possible. I almost think they used slow mo for some of that, because neither one of them moves.
/r/seduction15/02/12 04:19 AM
0

Don't waste your time. I used it for something like two years and rarely even got nibbles. This from someone who has done really well with online dating in general. I did end up sleeping with a couple of women from it, but they weren't that hot and it was not worth the time or money I put into it.
/r/seduction10/02/12 01:10 AM
3

"That's right. High five!"
/r/seduction09/02/12 02:55 AM
7

Try direct. If you have the balls to do that song, direct will be easy.
/r/seduction09/02/12 02:50 AM
2

I thought the best answers were anonymous, which don't have pictures.
/r/seduction09/02/12 02:45 AM
5

You have plenty of time. When you get older you'll realize your twenties were mostly a waste of time in terms of knowing what you want out of life.
/r/seduction08/02/12 06:00 PM
0

argh. hold on
/r/seduction08/02/12 06:26 AM
2

I'm 43 and divorced. In many ways the divorce was the best thing that happened to me because it forced me to really think deeply about what I want out of life. I would like a partner, but I'm in no rush to get married again. I make this clear to anyone I date. The only reason I would get married is if she's really special and she really wanted kids. I don't have kids but could probably be talked into having them. One thing I realized after a lot of soul searching is that most of my previous inte…
/r/seduction05/02/12 05:45 PM
1

Yeah, I would leave out young and not married. Living on a boat is cool, full stop. You don't have to justify anything.
/r/seduction29/01/12 10:49 PM
3

Rock the house!
/r/seduction29/01/12 10:48 PM
6

Good movie. For those making the point about it being Brad Pitt, he really doesn't look that great in this movie. He's playing the part of a washed up former baseball player.
/r/seduction27/01/12 11:53 PM
1

I wouldn't overthink this. Women have a tendency to nag in general, and they also have a desire to be heard rather than have their problems solved. The trick as man in a couple is to figure out which is which.
/r/seduction25/01/12 04:58 PM
12

For your bed, get a 3" memory foam mattress pad. They are incredibly comfortable and much less expensive than a full memory foam bed. Every girl who's slept in my bed says it's the best she's ever experienced.
/r/seduction25/01/12 03:54 PM
2

"I am from the Internet and I'm hear to have sex with help you."
/r/seduction24/01/12 10:50 PM
1

I went to one of his conversation camps and got a lot out of it.
/r/seduction24/01/12 08:14 PM
2

I haven't watched this one, but I've watched some of his other stuff and he comes off as a complete phony. Plus, he obviously uses one of those pay for comments services to make his blog look like it gets a lot of traffic. Advice to the guru: "just be yourself."
/r/seduction24/01/12 04:53 PM
1

No, but most attractive women either get married by the time they hit 30 or are seriously on the hunt for it. Those that are still single but want to be married are starting to seriously re-evaluate their priorities as their expiration date approaches. They "next" guys as much as we do women.
/r/seduction24/01/12 02:29 AM
1

It's the same thing as fag hags for young gay men. It allows them to have an emotional connection without sex, which for young gay men might be hard if they live in a small town and/or haven't come out of the close yet. IME the friend zone pretty much goes away by your mid-20s.
/r/seduction23/01/12 10:02 PM
1

You lost me. The guy gave an example of before & after, and the after is clearly preferable. This lessons applies to a lot of people.
/r/seduction22/01/12 10:08 PM
1

Why do you say that? I believe people who improve themselves are happier on the inside and get more external validation (which, not gonna lie, helps with the internal stuff).
/r/seduction22/01/12 06:39 PM
2

Part of it is congruency. I heard him interviewed a while back and he said he's been super-confident douchebag since he was a kid. It wasn't until he was older that he realized not everyone has such inner confidence.
/r/seduction22/01/12 01:05 AM
11

True. In Assholes Finish First he has a section devoted to his failures. He explicitly makes the point that he fails more than he succeeds.
/r/seduction22/01/12 01:03 AM
3

A few that come to mind: Join clubs & Meetups - http://www.meetup.com Better yet, start your own Meetup. I recently started one just for going to movies every week and over 100 people signed up (!) Attend exercise & yoga classes consistently (not just join a gym, but an actual class) Say "yes" to every opportunity to do something social or adventurous Hang out in coffee shops with a book or your laptop, try to start conversations
/r/seduction19/01/12 11:07 PM
2

Nah I've seen this shit work. Dressing audaciously is the same as saying something audacious. You immediately want to know more about the guy, even if you want to make fun of him.
/r/seduction19/01/12 10:58 PM
2

Inspiring. I've taken a couple salsa classes and leading is my weak point too. I gotta get back out there...
/r/seduction19/01/12 10:47 PM
2

If he were happily married, one assumes they spent some time together as boyfriend & girlfriend. This reads like a one night stand. I took a girl's virginity in high school, but it happened over several weeks. It seemed obvious to me that most girls would want to go slow. Sex was somewhat taboo, but that also made it a Big Deal, not just an obstacle.
/r/seduction19/01/12 04:44 PM
1

Re: becoming the center of attention - he indirectly touches on this by talking about things like magic, horoscopes, the Cube etc. These are all out-of-the-ordinary, fascinating things that you can use to become the center of attention. Girls eat that stuff up, and even guys will be interested in a mixed group setting. He had to learn how to do those things, which underscores your point that it's not easy to do. Early on I toyed with learning that stuff, but I found other ways of being interesti…
/r/seduction19/01/12 04:52 AM
7

The girl in question was a virgin. I think it's wrong to push through in that situation.
/r/seduction19/01/12 04:38 AM
1

If I didn't think she was fat, I would just say that. If I think she might be a little chunky, I would probably just redirect the conversation a little. "Who said you were fat?!"
/r/seduction19/01/12 04:09 AM
8

And by showing intent, they are actually more honest and authentic.
/r/seduction19/01/12 04:07 AM
3

Also, it's the kind of thing you would say to a male friend, which I think is how you should interact with women most of the time. (Obviously don't say this at work.)
/r/seduction19/01/12 04:07 AM
1

It's all in the delivery. Imagine someone like Adam Carolla or Russel Brand saying it.
/r/seduction19/01/12 04:05 AM
1

To me it's all about saying what you actually think rather than what you thinks she wants you to say. Doesn't mean you have to blurt everything out, but pause before responding and consider how you might interact with a guy friend as oppose to a girl you're trying to sleep with.
/r/seduction19/01/12 04:04 AM
1

avoids conflict or uncomfortable situations at all costs. I think this might be the core of the issue. Does "conflict" include teasing? I have friends with whom I never say an encouraging word. It's just insults galore. And it's awesome. While I wouldn't recommend insulting girls nonstop, I would recommend disagreeing with something she says if you happen to disagree with it. (Smile while you do it.) Clamming up is just another form of lying.
/r/seduction17/01/12 09:22 PM
2

I've only used the freeze out a part of the escalation. For example, we might be making out pretty heavy and I get a little resistance when I put my hand up her shirt, so I pull away before she verbalizes and announce I have to go the bathroom or check the score of a game. In this situation I probably would've made a joke about her morals. You probably can't talk her into sex, but you can establish that just because she thinks things should go a certain way doesn't mean you will always play alon…
/r/seduction16/01/12 09:30 PM
3

Absolutely. The guy is vouching for your awesomeness. It's a great form of social proof.
/r/seduction15/01/12 05:19 PM
20

Are you using sarcasm a lot? I used to do that until I discovered people oftentimes weren't getting the joke. Now I just try to fous on saying what I think instead of trying to come up with something that's magically witty.
/r/seduction15/01/12 05:17 PM
23

Not about pickup per se, but this quote by a young girl really gets to the heart of approach anxiety. It's also relevant to a lot of other things: making new friends, getting the job you want, starting a business
/r/seduction15/01/12 05:14 PM
1

Thanks. Just to be clear, I don't think I have PTSD and was never diagnosed with it. However, I had some of the symptoms and, once I realized, that I got a lot more serious about finding a solution. I'm in a great place now, honestly happier than I've ever been.
/r/seduction15/01/12 04:26 AM
2

Not really. He was smart and witty, but also selfish, and he showed that pretty early on. Now that I think about it, I still hung out with him for the same reason girls go for assholes: on some level I felt the urge to win him over. It was only in college when a bunch of us moved in together and he proceeded to piss off every single roommate that I realized how stupid that was.
/r/seduction14/01/12 04:17 PM
1

No, but she said I had been traumatized. I definitely exhibited some symptoms.
/r/seduction13/01/12 11:41 PM
5

I had a friend do something similar to me in college. He's no longer my friend. Not because of that particular incident, but it was emblematic of the fact that he's a complete narcissist who alienates everyone he gets in any way close to.
/r/seduction13/01/12 08:12 PM
9

Seriously consider seeing a therapist. I've had a lot of girlfriends over the years, but two in particular really devastated me when they ended it. I was really, really messed up - borderline suicidal. Eventually through therapy I managed to reframe my point of view and come up with some strategies for coping and am very happy as a result. One thing I learned, though, was that those breakups traumatized me and gave me borderline PTSD.
/r/seduction13/01/12 07:18 PM
10

Good job. Vulnerability in general is attractive just so long as it's not needy. Telling a girl you're attracted to her in a confident voice can really raise the tension in a good way.
/r/seduction13/01/12 04:41 PM
1

Dude, you're trying to spread your thinking around like some damn virus right now! The difference between you and me is that I'm self-aware while you're self-absorbed.
/r/seduction12/01/12 04:01 AM
1

Therapists become therapists because they enjoy the work. They have to make living like everyone else, but you don't sign up to help people deal with their personal problems unless you genuinely want to connect with and help people.
/r/seduction12/01/12 03:59 AM
1

It can be worth the money. I've gotten a lot out of therapy. However, don't just give money to the first therapist who you can get an appointment with. Most therapists will allow you to do the first session free to get a sense of what it's like to work with them. Try several therapists until you find one you really click with.
/r/seduction12/01/12 03:57 AM
1

No, what I'm saying is that the very idea of not pursuing happiness because it's selfish is stupid. This pious nonsense about how you really are not selfish is bullshit. We're all selfish -- that's how evolution works. You can either own it or deny it.
/r/seduction12/01/12 03:50 AM
1

So what? I've donated even more. I volunteer at a mental health services center. I sponsor children in Indonesia. I give food and water to homeless people on the street. The point is, you're trying to wear this "I only live to serve" badge as a bludgeon to prove you're better than all us terrible hedonists. News flash: if you do something because it makes you feel good, even if what you do is helping others, you are still doing it for selfish reasons. If you're truly not selfish, you'll do somet…
/r/seduction12/01/12 03:39 AM
1

Sure, of course you have to start somewhere. The Seddit sidebar has lots of things to help you get started. I personally started by talking only to service people at retail stores, coffee shops etc.
/r/seduction12/01/12 03:12 AM
1

Everyone has this reaction to one degree or another. The best salespeople are those who don't act like salespeople. Likewise, the guys who are best at picking up women are the ones who don't act like they're trying to pick up women.
/r/seduction12/01/12 03:09 AM
0

Hang out with middle aged people too. Many of them probably have daughters and nieces they can introduce you to. One of the best lessons I learned after college was that you can have friends of all ages. EDIT: Also, join Meetup groups, take a dance class, join an aerobics class etc.
/r/seduction12/01/12 03:00 AM
1

I would sacrifice my life, literally and emotionally to save another person. Bullshit. If you really believe this, sell everything you own and go save a starving child in Africa. You can save probably a dozen people in the next 12 months alone.
/r/seduction12/01/12 02:56 AM
1

Jesus, man, calm down. You know what makes me happy? Going out dancing. Riding a unicycle. A nice meal. Skydiving. Making love. If 1 billion people start doing these things instead of worrying about what other people think the world would be a better place. No one is saying you shouldn't be a responsible adult.
/r/seduction12/01/12 02:55 AM
1

Sedditor Very happy. And you can start this stuff at any age. I'm 43 and read The Game for the first time three years ago.
/r/seduction12/01/12 02:52 AM
1

Well, you have to remember that everyone is different, and that you probably only truly "click" with a minority of the population anyway. I'm a sports fan, but that doesn't mean I really love hanging out with fellow sports fans. It just means we can have a reasonably interesting conversation for 15-20 minutes. Substitute "pickup community" for sports and you'll see what I mean.
/r/seduction12/01/12 02:48 AM
1

You are describing a sociopath, not pickup. I know lots of PUA guys and they are uniformly cool, helpful and just normal people. They practically all got into this because they were looking for a long term relationship, not just to fuck a lot.
/r/seduction12/01/12 02:45 AM
2

sedditor* I've suffered from depression for over 20 years. Medication and therapy have done a lot for me. A lot. But I know it's something I'll have to manage for the rest of my life. I was suicidal as recently as last summer.
/r/seduction12/01/12 02:42 AM
1

Not to mention, even women do this. They like guys to make a move, take charge, be a man etc. These are assertive acts.
/r/seduction12/01/12 02:30 AM
2

Don't worry, there are 3 billion other women.
/r/seduction11/01/12 11:49 PM
2

I'll bet $50 that a lot of guys who are "being themselves" are also scared to make a move. Is the average woman attracted to scared guys? Of course not. If your default self is scared, you need to change yourself. Once upon a time I was scared to go into the deep end of the pool. Eventually I conquered my fear and learned to swim. I didn't try to argue that staying in the shallow end is really just me being myself.
/r/seduction11/01/12 11:48 PM
2

For all but the famous, the default result is failure. Game helps you get from, say, a 5% success rate to 25%.
/r/seduction11/01/12 11:43 PM
19

I'm 43 and have dated lots of women in their 30s and early-mid 40s. They do seem to appreciate authenticity and vulnerability more, but don't make the mistake that assuming any single girl of that age is desperate or broken. That said, many women that age wasted their twenties on a loser/asshole. They often see themselves as older, wiser and happier. Oh yeah, they also love sex and so you don't need as much game to get past LMR.
/r/seduction11/01/12 03:52 PM
1

Hmmm... She may have hooked up with someone else over break. I would either ignore her for a couple weeks and/or call her on this. Not in a nasty, defensive way. More like "Why are you acting so weird? It makes me not want to hang out with you any more." Make her defend her actions. Be very casual in how you say this and non-reactive to her answer.
/r/seduction11/01/12 03:48 PM
2

IME the assholes most women complain about are guys who lie or otherwise pretend a relationship is more important to them than it really is. Always be truthful and, while she may not get what she wants, she will still respect you.
/r/seduction11/01/12 03:44 PM
2

This is awesome. Thanks for sharing.
/r/seduction11/01/12 01:31 PM
1

Good job. There's any number of reasons she could be acting that way, but the best way to know is... ASK! "I have a question for you. I've noticed that you seem to pop in and out of your shell. What's up with that?" You've just pushed the interaction to a more personal level and put her on the defensive. She may freak out, but that's highly unlikely, especially at a conference. The more likely response is she will justify her behavior with something more concrete ("sorry, my mom's in the hospita…
/r/seduction11/01/12 01:28 PM
1

Oh I don't have a problem with asking per se, I was just curious what the venue is like. At the typical bar with a DJ you can just hit the dance floor alone.
/r/seduction11/01/12 04:18 AM
3

A couple exercises to try: For a whole day, make and hold eye contact for at least 3 seconds with everyone you pass on the sidewalk, school wherever. Smile when you do it. Go to places like Target and ask for help finding something. In a retail shop where the sales person asks "Can I help you find anything" say "Yes, I' interested in buying [X]" You don't have to buy anything, just let them interact with you for a while. Retails places and coffee shops are a good place to practice because it's t…
/r/seduction11/01/12 02:50 AM
1

Ice skating.
/r/seduction11/01/12 02:45 AM
3

Being interested means actually asking them about who they are as a person and what makes them tick. In other words, go beyond the surface details of what they do and find out who they are. For example, my day gig is software, but that doesn't tell you anything other than that I sit in front of a computer. So the questions you might ask me are: Do you like your job? Why/why not? What's your dream job and why? In my case I would answer that I love my job and it's because of the flow state I get i…
/r/seduction10/01/12 10:09 PM
2

Personally I would cancel and stay away from this. Let him fuck it up on his own. Late tonight text the girl you're sorry you had to cancel, but you ended up going out later and INSERT AWESOME ACTIVITY THING HERE.
/r/seduction10/01/12 08:01 PM
1

Question about blues dancing: do you go to bars that specialize in this kind of music? I like dancing, but most places I go have typical electronic DJ stuff and a lot of people get on the dance floor. (Which is great because I can just go with the flow) It seems like places that have this kind of music have sparser dance floors and you really need to ask a partner to dance with you rather than just dancing on your own and meeting someone in the process.
/r/seduction10/01/12 07:47 PM
1

It sounds like you don't find clubs very much fun either. Why go to places that are no fun? If you still intend on going to clubs, try this. Go one night by yourself with the SOLE INTENT of dancing for a long as you can. Wander into the middle of the dance floor, close your eyes and just focus on the groove. If you start feeling self-conscious, remind yourself that it doesn't matter what other people think because you are there to dance with yourself. After 20 minutes check in with yourself. Are…
/r/seduction10/01/12 06:23 PM
13

First you need to establish that she's a kinky girl. Find out what she's done in the past, what her fantasies are and get a sense of whether she's GGG If she's not GGG, she probably will think you're a perv. But most girls like to think they're somewhat open-minded, so use Dan Savage as the arbiter of what "open minded" means. Frame your desires as natural and adventurous, and if she doesn't want to go along that means she's a prude. Also, offer to help her with any of her own kinks to prove how…
/r/seduction10/01/12 06:16 PM
2

Good job. The fact that you persisted in spite of your nervousness takes a lot of courage. Instead of telling a hot girl how pretty she is, try telling her you like her energy, that there's something about her you can't quite put your finger on. Also, it sounds like the conversation was very fact-based. Look for opportunities to get into a more emotional realm. Why did she go to North Carolina? How did that make her feel? Does she miss it? Why or why not? (Though of course don't turn it into jus…
/r/seduction10/01/12 05:57 PM
5

Self-awareness is the first step to success. Just practice noticing it in yourself. A couple years ago I got a baseball pitch counter and carried it with me for a week. I clicked it every time I caught myself doing something out of fear (i.e. avoided eye contact, wussed out on talking to a girl etc). Once I started noticing it I challenged myself to "turn into the fear." that is, if I broke eye contact out of fear, I forced myself to re-establish it. If I didn't want to talk to the girl in line …
/r/seduction10/01/12 05:51 PM
3

Fashion definitely makes a difference. You don't even have to spend that much money. You can find great stuff at Marshalls, Ross and Kohl's. A step up is Nordstrom Rack and Macy's. Pro tip: get good shoes. Girls notice shoes for some reason.
/r/seduction10/01/12 05:47 PM
1

Bingo, you're right. It was actually outside the context of pickup.
/r/seduction10/01/12 04:51 PM
3

I went through a similar period of loneliness. A few quick thoughts: It's really easy to get into a mindset of needing women to validate you. If that's the case with you, and it sounds like it is, start noticing that. Whenever you're talking to a girl, do you feel a desire to get her validation? (For most guys this means trying to impress her) In addition to what others have said about getting a life outside of PUA, I've also found that having multiple girls in the pipeline (as it were) is also …
/r/seduction10/01/12 04:50 PM
8

I would dismiss it in a slightly self-deprecating way. "Oh, you don't wanna go out with me. I'm the world's worst boyfriend."
/r/seduction09/01/12 09:50 PM
1

It's a catchall, but in this case she was clearly attracted, so my guess is it's true. Also, the fact that she didn't bring it up until so late in the interaction. Most girls use it when they're not attracted to signal that you shouldn't push it. Was the CB alone? In that case I would've invited them both to get a drink.
/r/seduction09/01/12 09:32 PM
20

Here are some questions I copied from some web site a while back. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? Would you like to be famous? In what way? Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? What would constitute a "perfect" day for you? When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your lif…
/r/seduction09/01/12 09:24 PM
7

If you think this might happen, you got bigger problems.
/r/seduction09/01/12 08:34 PM
2

I don't support this for reasons others have pointed out. However, I think it would be interesting to try this with girls in the HB8-10 category. That is, instead of getting your hopes up and being a supplicating AFC, go into it with the intention of making friends only. Even announce it up front: "you're really cute but I think you'd make a better friend than a girlfriend."
/r/seduction09/01/12 05:37 PM
1

Upvote for Meetup. Also, consider starting your own Meetup. I'm about to start one that goes to movies once a week.
/r/seduction09/01/12 12:08 AM
1

Find bars that have community-centric nights. For example, a bar near me has Brazil night once a month. It features a Brazilian group and dancing. You don't need to to drink to have a good time or find something to talk about. The people who come to that likely go to other Brazil nights at other places, so I can find out about other places to go too. Related: last year I joined a Brazilian drumming group and met a lot of people in that community as a result.
/r/seduction09/01/12 12:07 AM
2

I used to need alcohol to have any kind of success at bars or other social venues where people drink. For the last couple years I've been training myself not to need it. For me alcohol became a component of associative learning and it's taken a lot of work for me to get to where I can just relax at a bar without drinking.
/r/seduction08/01/12 11:56 PM
3

Yeah I've been working on something similar for the last several months. Instead of feeling like I have to fill up space, I sometimes just sit quietly looking the girl in the eye. Sometimes she giggles or blushes and I comment on how isn't eye contact and/or silence amazing in how it can produce a reaction? I also intentionally shut up sometimes to see if she will start asking me questions.
/r/seduction08/01/12 11:50 PM
1

In this particular case, I probably would've said: "iPhones are ruining the art of bullshitting. I just told you a great piece of bullshit and now you have to go ruin it. I've been working on that story for days. Are you always this mean?" (EDIT: I just realized you had asked her a question. I still would've said something like "no cheating using Google. I wanna know what you think, not what some wanker on the Internet says"). And you absolutely can talk about bongs and drinking as long as you'r…
/r/seduction08/01/12 11:43 PM
1

No shit. I've hung out a couple time with a blue-collar dude who probably doesn't own a single book, but he knows how to pick up girls. He's not just a natural who works on automatic pilot. He has specific tactics that work.
/r/seduction08/01/12 08:16 PM
2

100% true.
/r/seduction08/01/12 08:13 PM
1

Great job. Yeah, things didn't end perfectly but think about where you were just a few months ago. On the girl who used the phone to Google an answer. When she did that, were you thinking "why are you googling this and fucking up my game?" If so, say it! Don't be confrontational, but just tease her about ruining a great interaction. My point: I've found that I get better results when I say what I'm actually thinking vs. trying to think of what I should say. Sometimes it's a total non-sequitur, b…
/r/seduction08/01/12 08:10 PM
1

Travel the world. Make a list of things you think you'd like to do or see and start doing them. Focus on gathering experiences, not things. Most things tend to tie you down and only give fleeting satisfaction. Experiences help you learn more about yourself and the memories last a lifetime.
/r/seduction08/01/12 08:00 PM
2

I've felt like this before and found that the best thing to do is just take a break. When you start seeing every woman as a target that you have to win instead of a human being who you might want to get to know, you're subjecting yourself to a very limited view of the world. Focus on doing things you like just for yourself for a while, not with an outcome in mind. I've been taking a break lately because I've been exclusive with one girl for the last couple months. Nonetheless, the other night I …
/r/seduction08/01/12 07:55 PM
5

Not quite the same thing, but over the past year I've been keeping a log of anything out of the ordinary that I do. Could be a movie I saw, a meal, a trip I took etc. It's fun to review it every now and then and relive the memories.
/r/seduction08/01/12 07:30 PM
1

That's true of everything. you can have the most interesting opening line in the world, but if you come across as nervous or creepy in saying it the words don't matter. Main thing is to focus on being confident regardless of what you say. Don't get me wrong. Openers are good for helping you get confidence, but don't let the lack of one stop you from opening.
/r/seduction06/01/12 10:46 PM
1

Nah, you don't have to say something different on the approach. It's more after the conversation starts. Most women will have no memory of how you started the convo if the convo itself is interesting/different.
/r/seduction06/01/12 10:43 PM
0

I think you look fine. IME girls prefer stubble over a beard. I started having an almost-constant stubble about 18 months ago and lots of girls have told me it's hot. Game-wise, what are you doing to escalate?
/r/seduction06/01/12 10:38 PM
2

Also, don't worry about saying something witty & clever. Main goal at this stage is just not to run away in fear. "Hi" and a smile is plenty.
/r/seduction06/01/12 10:04 PM
4

Dude, I'm 43 and hit on girls half my age all the time. Edited to add: News flash - no matter how old you get, you still feel like you're 25 on the inside. And you're still attracted to 25 year old chicks. You can either own it or beat yourself up about it. I choose to own it.
/r/seduction06/01/12 10:02 PM
4

Cool story, bro.
/r/seduction06/01/12 09:31 PM
1

"that's what im saying" is what i'm saying.
/r/seduction03/01/12 08:17 PM
2

http://www.thepickupkings.com/dance-floor-game-part-1-basic-principles/
/r/seduction03/01/12 08:08 PM
4

5 inches is plenty big enough, not small at all.
/r/seduction03/01/12 01:20 AM
1

You can get the full answer here
/r/seduction03/01/12 12:16 AM
3

Not really. I've picked up girls there. Once you get a girl grinding on you the rest is pretty easy.
/r/seduction02/01/12 05:37 PM
1

Wow, thanks for sharing this. You mention trying some stuff. Have you worked on kino? That was my biggest sticking point but I've made a ton of progress. I try to touch often. Easiest way is to grab upper arm and squeeze or touch shoulder a little when making a point. Something about crossing that barrier makes me (and her) more comfortable. Also, it sounds kind of weird but I also use something I think of as "anonymous kino." By this I mean, when I'm making my way through a crowd, I don't make …
/r/seduction01/01/12 11:59 PM
10

This is awful advice for an alcoholic. Besides, just get a club soda with lime. It looks like it has alcohol in it. I don't drink and have had no problem meeting women in bars. If anyone asks why I don't drink (which rarely happens) I say "because I'm an alcoholic" (big smile). Being vulnerable is strangely attractive.
/r/seduction01/01/12 11:43 PM
1

I don't drink either but still occasionally go to bars. Hit the dance floor and just enjoy yourself. I've had success meeting women on the dance floor. My best advice is to first focus on enjoying the dancing and holding your own frame. Day game: coffee shops are great for meeting women. Same for business networking events.
/r/seduction01/01/12 11:41 PM
3

What Amrakhorew said. You could also have said "you know, I got a second wind so I'm going back to the party." She might (but only might) have ended up going back with you once she realized you were going back for more fun.
/r/seduction01/01/12 09:11 PM
1

IMO peacock is anything that's worth of conversation. Scarf is good because she can compliment you on it, ask about it etc.
/r/seduction01/01/12 02:11 AM
1

Of course it's a numbers game. Are you telling me you hook up with every single girl you open? You must have ESP.
/r/seduction01/01/12 02:10 AM
1

There is nothing wrong with going after what you want. You might get rejected, but that does not make it wrong. No one is too good for you. That's all in your head.
/r/seduction31/12/11 03:31 AM
1

You mean like Fox News when they talk about Obama?
/r/seduction28/12/11 10:09 PM
2

It's not about having a big or small ego. It's about how the ego unconsciously defends itself. Once you become more conscious of how your ego manipulates you, the more you can enjoy life IMO.
/r/seduction28/12/11 10:03 PM
1

Upvote for the suggestion to see a shrink. I've gotten a lot out of therapy over the years. My only regret is I didn't do it sooner.
/r/seduction28/12/11 04:56 PM
1

First, I don't think you're a loser. I just think you're human. Second, these are all great suggestions, but be wary of trying to make a bunch of changes at once. Willpower is a muscle that needs to be built up over time. Overloading it just leads to failure. Instead, start with one and only one thing you want to change, and focus on it for at least 30 days. Follow Steve Pavlina's 30 day trial blueprint. The web site Zen Habits also has similar advice. Getting in shape is a good place to start, …
/r/seduction28/12/11 04:55 PM
4

I've been told I can be kind of intimidating for similar reasons. A couple things I did to help fix that: Stop using sarcasm except when it's really obvious. I used to be very sarcastic and it turns out a lot of people weren't getting the joke. (More accurately, I was doing a bad job of transmitting the joke.) Ask for feedback after I say something that might be critical. "Does that make sense? Do you agree or disagree?" Preface feedback with "I could be wrong, but I imagine." As in, "I could be…
/r/seduction28/12/11 04:42 PM
4

Yes, honesty with yourself is necessary and often difficult. I don't think Radical Honesty is a good strategy in the long term wrt to relationships, but it's extremely useful at helping you identify your own insecurities. A couple years ago I did an experiment. I bought one of those counter things that pitching coaches use to count pitches and carried it around in my pocket. Then I clicked it every time I found myself doing something out of fear. Examples: Looking away when a homeless guy asked …
/r/seduction28/12/11 04:35 PM
3

I posted this because I believe in certain contexts radical honesty can be a powerful seduction technique. The subject of the article claims to have slept with over 500 women.
/r/seduction28/12/11 04:47 AM
-1

Saying the first thing that pops into my head has worked. Not about her, but about our surroundings. Like "what's up with that dude over there" or if I see a guy and a girl talking I'll make observations about their body language. Also, I often intentionally just don't say anything to see if she tries to keep the conversation going. IOI.
/r/seduction26/12/11 10:10 PM
1

One risk of drug use while gaming is the brain starts to associate drug use as a necessary precondition for success. It took me a long time to be able to go out and have fun without drinking because in college I conditioned myself to believe that the only way I could have fun in a group setting was if booze or pot was involved. Not saying you have a problem, but just be aware of the possibility of negative consequences from long term use.
/r/seduction26/12/11 04:36 PM
8

Say "why are you looking at me like a l'm a leper?" Smile.
/r/seduction26/12/11 04:17 PM
1

Start taking a fitness class. You can join a health club too, but the good thing about a class is you'll meet new people. You can ask the instructor and other people what to do for fun. There might also be some hot girls in there (though IME most are older women trying to lose baby weight). Also, take a yoga class. Yoga women are uniformly hot, but it's a little harder to approach because they often treat the yoga room like a sacred space. It's like hitting on someone in church.
/r/seduction22/12/11 04:09 PM
1

And BTW great comment overall. Last year I resolved to be more disciplined about doing Crossfit. I'd started doing it the previous fall but would occasionally miss a week. One thing that helped for me is I decided that "successful" = two times a week. Any more than that was a bonus. Also, I made Tues & Thurs my Crossfit days and blocked the time out on my calendar,
/r/seduction21/12/11 08:36 PM
2

Suggestion for vitamins - get some of those daily pill containers and fill them up every Sunday or whatever day is best for you. THen keep it where you're likely to stumble over it. I keep mine in the kitchen next to the coffee maker. I have two sets - one for breakfast and another for dinner.
/r/seduction21/12/11 08:34 PM
1

+1 for Joe Rogan
/r/seduction21/12/11 03:58 PM
1

Where in my comment did I ask a question?
/r/seduction18/12/11 12:20 AM
1

Can't wait to try this.
/r/seduction17/12/11 01:51 AM
4

I hope this doesn't sound dickish, but how are you in bed? Are you dominant or passive? I used to be pretty passive until a few years ago but since then I've gotten really dominant - pull her hair, throw her on the bed, order her around, tell her I'm going to fuck her until she screams, that she's my whore etc. Girls eat that shit up.
/r/seduction17/12/11 01:51 AM
1

Yeah, sometimes game can fuck with your head. I've taken breaks in the past, mostly because I've found myself looking at every girl as a "target" and not as another human being. Re: confidence, one thing to do is to find something you're passionate about and just dive in for a while. Once you become confident in a certain area of your life, you can draw on that. For example, I know I'm an awesome drummer, know a lot about music and a lot about the tech business. I'm so good at those things that …
/r/seduction17/12/11 01:45 AM
2

This is really interesting. It's similar to Robert Cialdini's principle of consistency. In his case he's talking about persuasion but you can use persuasion on yourself.
/r/seduction17/12/11 01:38 AM
3

Next time, say (with a smile) "whoa whoa, everyone's looking at me, I can't take the pressure!" It will likely get a laugh and give you a moment to compose yourself.
/r/seduction17/12/11 01:36 AM
1

Yeah but when you're in a car it's a little weird in the middle of conversation to just lean in, especially if you have a gear shift between you. (By "weird," I mean internal state. Since you're engaged in conversation, it's a deft way to transition. YMMV.)
/r/seduction17/12/11 01:33 AM
1

I've been in this situation a few times recently. One trick I think I learned here is: [me] "I've got an idea." [her] "What?" [me, bug smile] "Let's kiss!" It's worked every time. But if she had said no, then at minimum I would know I was misreading the situation.
/r/seduction16/12/11 09:57 PM
1

I think it's fine to shift your AA. That's the normal evolution. Approach Anxiety Kino Anxiety Escalation Anxiety LMR (not so much anxiety as frustration) Keep doing what you're doing, but try doing some direct approaches too. Once you do a few of those you'll realize it's no big deal. And your photo is fine. Smile, like somebody said, but you're good looking enough to land practically any girl (all other things being equal).
/r/seduction16/12/11 12:08 AM
1

PUAs who specialize in strip clubs say not to ask questions like that. Much better to ask her something she hasn't heard a thousand times before.
/r/seduction15/12/11 11:54 PM
1

No, I've seen small penis jokes work. Wayne Elise does variations on that all the time.
/r/seduction15/12/11 11:53 PM
1

I had the same thought. He did it badly, but I think he was definitely trying to run game. Negs get way more attention than they deserve.
/r/seduction15/12/11 11:49 PM
3

I dig stripper economists. We need more of those. :)
/r/seduction15/12/11 11:47 PM
3

Troll. You missed this quote: But a few people are emotional vampires. They steal their self-esteem from others by making them feel bad.
/r/seduction15/12/11 04:20 AM
1

It's part of the constant tension between eastern & western schools of thought. Suffering comes from desire, but confidence (usually) comes from attainment. I have no doubt that someone who is deeply at peace (like the Dalai Lama) has no trouble doing whatever he wants with authenticity. But I'll be even he doesn't like to lose when he plays checkers.
/r/seduction15/12/11 04:17 AM
3

What does being 40 and having a job have to do with it? I'm 43, employed and meet chicks all the time without going to clubs. I hate loud bars.
/r/seduction15/12/11 02:51 AM
1

I've taken girls to a local indoor trampoline park a few times and they all loved it.
/r/seduction13/12/11 07:33 PM
1

Direct compliments are good. Examples: "You have a nice smile." "I like your energy." "You're adorable." If you don't know her name yet, append "What's your name?" to any of those.
/r/seduction08/12/11 05:37 PM
1

Heh. This morning I found a pair of panties rumpled up in my sheets. To the question, I think some women do do this on purpose. A couple times it's happened to me and the woman has gone out of her way to apologize and insist she's not gaming me.
/r/seduction08/12/11 05:13 PM
1

Good for your for trying. Welcome to the Matrix. Get used to feeling uncomfortable. After a while it's not so bad at all. Mark Manson has a good post about this at http://postmasculine.com/you-signed-up-for-awkwardness
/r/seduction06/12/11 07:55 PM
1

Ok, maybe "fault" is the wrong word. My point is you shouldn't feel bad simply for being an outgoing person. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent. In most cases, non-responsiveness just means they are absorbed in their own problems or have their guard up from some reason. But a few people are emotional vampires. They steal their self-esteem from others by making them feel bad.
/r/seduction06/12/11 04:43 PM
1

One little trick I use is, when someone asks how I'm doing, I'll enthusiastically say "I am awesome!" Almost always gets a giggle, which makes me feel pretty awesome.
/r/seduction06/12/11 03:15 AM
6

Grab her upper arm when making a point. Not hard, but reasonably firm.
/r/seduction06/12/11 03:12 AM
3

Money per se isn't so important, but conveying an image of success is very attractive. Don't have to dress in expensive clothes or anything like that, and definitely don't brag about your success, but conveying that you're going places in your life is attractive.
/r/seduction06/12/11 03:04 AM
1

It's her fault unless you came across as creepy or not genuine.
/r/seduction06/12/11 03:02 AM
1

I wouldn't walk up to a girl and mention the weather, but it's perfectly natural when standing in line to say something like "it is a gorgeous day outside." Then you can transition into something you did or want to do outside, what is she doing today etc.
/r/seduction06/12/11 03:00 AM
2

I've successfully opened with "you look familiar, have we slept together? You'd remember me because I'm really bad in bed." Learned that from Wayne Elise.
/r/seduction06/12/11 02:58 AM
2

One rule I try to follow is, "don't think it, say it." So if notice something like, I dunno, a cool dog I'll just say "wow, that's a cool dog" regardless whether there's someone there with me or not. That's not a very good example, but the point is that I'm verbalizing my thoughts because they are just so damn interesting instead of keeping them to myself.
/r/seduction06/12/11 02:55 AM
1

If it's a "deeper connection" you need to either escalate right away or accept being friend-zoned. To "err on the side of caution" is basically to conceal your true interest. Most guys make the mistake of not pushing hard enough.
/r/seduction05/12/11 09:43 PM
1

There you go. You're either supremely hot or a celebrity. The rest of the world has to work for it. I'm regularly told that I'm quite handsome and have a great body, but I still do 99% of approaches.
/r/seduction05/12/11 09:01 PM
2

"You like movies?" "Yeah" "What's your favorite?" "Not sure" "Cool" Conversation is a skill. Topics are just raw material.
/r/seduction05/12/11 08:59 PM
1

Do women ever approach you?
/r/seduction05/12/11 04:55 AM
2

As taught in school. A good storyteller can make anything interesting.
/r/seduction05/12/11 02:43 AM
3

Keep her around for... what? If you genuinely want her as a friend, then just do that. But don't turn into an orbiter who hangs out with her simply because she's hot. Escalate or GTFO.
/r/seduction04/12/11 10:28 PM
1

I agree with what others have said but will add that if you struggle with depression that last more than a day or so, see a therapist and consider medication. Both have done wonders for me.
/r/seduction04/12/11 10:25 PM
2

Techniques are like training wheels. They help you get into sets and build confidence. Eventually your true self has to emerge, but it's a more attractive version.
/r/seduction04/12/11 10:22 PM
2

+10 In addition, maybe stay away from the two of them (together at least, maybe still hang with your friend alone) until you've hooked up with someone else.
/r/seduction04/12/11 10:19 PM
6

I like this book a lot and follow the diet and exercise plan pretty religiously, but I think the testosterone part is pretty suspect.
/r/seduction04/12/11 10:17 PM
2

Coffee can sometimes be tough because it's hard to do kino if you sit across from each other. Ideally the place has a couch so you can sit next to each other. OTOH if you're walking over together you can do light kino on the way. I've had numerous relationships start with coffee, including my current girlfriend. I almost married a woman for whom our first date was me making a cup of coffee for her (she was my neighbor). Tip: put cinnamon in it. It will surprise her in a good way.
/r/seduction04/12/11 07:22 PM
3

I've had success with direct, but IME it tends to put the girl on the spot a little. So you need to have a follow-up that segues into normal conversation. Me: Hi, I think you're adorable and I just had to come talk to you. She: Thanks Me: So what brings you here tonight? Direct compliments are fine so long as you're not attached to a reciprocal response.
/r/seduction04/12/11 07:05 PM
2

If you know her and are interested, conversation over a drink or even just a walk is a great test-drive for a relationship. With dinner you're both thinking too much about the activity itself -- where should I take her? should I order appetizers and expensive drinks so I look cool? what if she doesn't like Italian/Mexican/whatever? If you really like each other, just having a nice conversation is good enough. Once you see there's real potential you can take her out for a nice meal. Not because y…
/r/seduction04/12/11 06:54 PM
3

Not necessarily. If she says "Really?" say "I lied. Also, I'm a compulsive liar. Did I mention you're the most beautiful girl in the world?" BUT... you should find something interesting about yourself and have a good story. I usually talk about being a classically trained musician or scuba diving in Australia. It doesn't have to be exotic as that. Just convey passion. In the case of Australia I talk about how it felt to see so many beautiful fish. One can just as easily talk about a movie that g…
/r/seduction03/12/11 02:56 AM
5

Drinks in a cool bar. A walk in the park. Even coffee. With online dating you shouldn't commit to more than 30 minutes because your date may turn out to be not very attractive or a boring conversationalist.
/r/seduction03/12/11 02:48 AM
4

Do it now. You can even just ask her out for coffee after class. I did something similar with a girl recently. She came a long and while having coffee I maintained heavy eye contact with her and eventually told her I was really attracted to her (vulnerable, but not needy - I presented it as a statement, not a "confession"). She reciprocated and now we're seeing each other regularly.
/r/seduction03/12/11 02:33 AM
2

I dated a woman with diagnosed Asperger's for a while. She was actually very popular socially, but she nonetheless exhibited all those behaviors. There's nothing wrong with it per se. She is very successful in life overall, but she struggles with really basic things like remembering to say "I'm fine, how are you?" when someone asks how she is doing (small talk).
/r/seduction01/12/11 11:42 PM
-1

You are definitely an Aspie.
/r/seduction01/12/11 09:06 PM
1

So the act of writing on her hand will make a girl who already likes you stop liking you? I doubt it. If anything it will make you even more memorable. Great part of the "how we met" story. If she doesn't like you then it doesn't matter. Edit: formatting
/r/seduction01/12/11 08:41 PM
2

I wonder if you could do a subtle qualification while doing this. Like "I'm giving you my number, but I hope you're not one of those people who's going to blow up my phone all night, right?"
/r/seduction01/12/11 06:40 PM
2

Not sure what you mean by "certain type of girl." If a gril likes you, she will want the #. If not, she probably won't call you anyway. Am I wrong?
/r/seduction01/12/11 06:36 PM
3

I started upping the dirty talk in the last couple years and it has been awesome. Girls go apeshit when you whisper in her ear about how tight her pussy is.
/r/seduction01/12/11 12:37 AM
1

I never mention other girls unless asked. Ironically I'm in a similar situation but I finally broke through LTRs LMR last week. That said, though we talked about exclusivity, our only agreement was that we be honest with each other. I'm about to go out of town and she's worried I'll pick up a girl on the road. Which might happen. I didn't say that, but she made me promise I'd tell her if I hooked up with someone else.
/r/seduction28/11/11 11:05 PM
3

You can game past 40. I'm 43 and have hooked up with girls as young as 21.
/r/seduction28/11/11 06:14 PM
3

Ease off. He's not trying to make anyone take him more seriously. He's just telling relevant facts for this particular forum. It's not like he goes up to girls and says "yo I'm not really a bad boy, just doing a social experiment."
/r/seduction28/11/11 04:45 PM
2

Yeah. Exactly that. Also, Stephen Tyler & Mick Jagger rock at WoW.
/r/seduction27/11/11 11:09 PM
3

Oh c'mon it's not that bad. Think of all the skinny rock stars and artists. Yeah, some girls prefer a muscular build, but my business partner is 6'0" 150 and never had any trouble scoring.
/r/seduction27/11/11 08:40 PM
8

Better yet, be a good guy. You're not afraid to tease women regardless of your relationship to them, and you know you can have any woman you want. Pretty soon she'll introduce you to her hot friends. I've scored several dates this way. My women friends all think I'm something of a player, but they also think I'm desirable.
/r/seduction27/11/11 08:33 PM
11

I've found that it's fun to say "I hate small talk, can we do some big talk?" She'll probably look a little confused but say "ok." Then ask, "when's the last time you laughed so hard you nearly peed your pants?" You should have an answer ready for that question. She will either give you an answer or say something like "I don't remember." Then you can transition into a DHV story.
/r/seduction22/11/11 11:35 PM
2

Nah, this works. I've done it. I gave a girl a piece of paper that just said "I think you're adorable." # closed shortly thereafter.
/r/seduction21/11/11 12:15 AM
1

Another good trick is to grab a girl's hair at the nape of the neck and pull. It triggers a primal sexual response. I know that sounds silly, but it's an evolution thing. If you ever watch animals mate, you might notice a lot of species' males bite the female there. I've done it with many women and they all love it. Most say that no one has ever done that to them before and they had no idea what a turn-on it is.
/r/seduction20/11/11 04:58 PM
1

If they're drunk, the won't notice that you're drunk.
/r/seduction20/11/11 04:52 PM
1

Ask the girl you're producing for to give you her honest assessment as to whether you give off a strange vibe. Ask her to go with you to approach someone at school. She may see something you're missing.
/r/seduction18/11/11 02:33 AM
1

You're really young. I'm 43 and didn't get into this stuff until I was 40. Sometimes taking a break really helps. I went through a period last year where I felt like I viewed every woman as a target instead of a person. I stopped reading PUA stuff for a while and just focused on cultivating hobbies I enjoy.
/r/seduction16/11/11 05:00 PM
1

If you're seriously in love with her or think it's headed that way, do yourself a favor and read this book by John Gottman It's about marriage but everything in it applies to long term relationships. Also, you may want to read Men Are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I always thought it was just pop psych crap until I read it and realized it described my past relationships to a t.
/r/seduction15/11/11 07:50 PM
1

At that point in time, if I had a new girl with me I'd probably be trying to escalate with her. But if it were an actual relationship, we'd probably just be watching tv together or reading. I had a similar realization several years ago about wealth. While being poor sucks, after a certain level wealth is overrated. Even if I were a billionaire I'd still drive my car, go to the gym, read, watch movies. I'd also still go to work because I need something keep me focused or I get depressed. A few ti…
/r/seduction14/11/11 07:57 PM
1

We were having a discussion in class about something she brought up, but didn't get to spend much time on it. I offered to continue the discussion. I also invited some other folks along but it ended up just being the two of us.
/r/seduction14/11/11 04:23 PM
3

This is awesome. I'm in a similar situation now. A girl im sleeping with who didn't give much IOI initially told me she thought I was really hot from the first moment she saw me. We saw each other once a week in a class and barely said boo until 6 weeks in when I invited her out for coffee after.
/r/seduction13/11/11 08:08 PM
1

Tell him that smart people go to therapy when what they've been doing isn't working. So he either is happy with the results he's getting or not. I'm a very successful person by almost any measure, but I've been to therapy multiple times over the years and gotten tons out of it. You don't have to be an emotional basket case to get help.
/r/seduction12/11/11 01:59 AM
1

I was going to say the same thing, but first I took a quick look at the FAQs and didn't see anything about group approaches. Maybe you can add a link? To answer the OP, it's important to win a girl's friends over (including the guys). The standard method is to approach someone else in the group first, engage everyone else as much as possible and ignore the girl until she says or does something worthy of your attention. But sometimes you meet a girl separately (i.e. on the dance floor) and her fr…
/r/seduction12/11/11 01:52 AM
1

A friend of mine used to go up to girls and challenge them to a duel. He'd pretend to slap her with a glove and use a silly French accent. Worked wonders.
/r/seduction12/11/11 01:35 AM
4

Take a moment to just feel the emotions. Too often we try to ignore them or cover them. Say it out loud: "I am inadequate" (or whichever applies). Then take a moment to realize that these are all bullshit! With the possible exception of shame (i.e. a criminal who hurt someone), the rest of these are completely subjective self-judgements, not objective facts. It won't fix you overnight, but the more aware you become of your emotions and allowing yourself to feel them instead of avoiding them, the…
/r/seduction12/11/11 01:23 AM
7

A therapist of mine says all negative emotions come from four beliefs we have about ourselves: I'm inadequate. I'm unlovable. I'm worthless. I'm ashamed. For most people these feelings come and go and sometimes more than one at the same time. For some they're constantly there as an undercurrent to our every day lives. If you ever catch yourself feeling scared or anxious in a social context, ask yourself if you're feeling one of the above.
/r/seduction11/11/11 09:00 PM
3

This is fascinating. Make sure you look at the videos.
/r/seduction11/11/11 12:41 AM
1

Boulder, Colorado. Great place for both software and meeting people who are sick fitness nuts. And girls who've spent a little too much time in the sun. :(
/r/seduction09/11/11 10:45 PM
4

I actually use this same question on people from time to time. Usually they respond with "What's my story?" and I explain that everyone has a story, and that the story of how they came to be in the present moment is usually much more interesting than reciting your resume.
/r/seduction09/11/11 06:51 AM
1

I'm a software entrepreneur who's had a bit of financial success. I'm not rich, but I have options. I'm working on a startup right now that isn't making any money yet, but I feel good about the prospects and absolutely love the work. Getting in shape has been a focus of mine for the last 18 months. Don't focus on getting big, just on getting your body fat down. Muscle tone will start to show up naturally. I do Crossfit, which is a real challenge and has delivered great results. Before that I tri…
/r/seduction09/11/11 06:42 AM
1

Exactly. IME the more personal it gets, the better.
/r/seduction07/11/11 07:47 PM
6

Eye contact is huge. I've always been ok at it, but in the last year or so I've really focused on holding it past my comfort zone. Sometimes on a date I'll just look a girl in the eye and not say anything, see how she reacts. Usually she asks me a question to keep the conversation going. Sometimes she blushes or smiles spontaneously and we have a discussion about how powerful eye contact is.
/r/seduction07/11/11 07:45 PM
4

Go to school, get good grades, get a job, find a girl, get married, have kids and THEN you'll be happy. Learning to be happy without attaching it to accomplishment is hard. Life is about experiences, not things, so focus on optimizing the variety of experiences you have. Otherwise it's easy to fall into the trap of just working 9-5 so you can afford to buy things to make you happy.
/r/seduction07/11/11 12:44 AM
15

Limiting belief. Think hard about what success and happiness mean to you and research how to achieve it. For most people these things are pretty simple, but they buy into the myth that life has to follow a script and get caught up in the rat race.
/r/seduction06/11/11 03:42 PM
1

It's decent. Greene's style is not my favorite, but he's a good writer overall.
/r/seduction06/11/11 03:25 PM
0

Whatevs. Get back to me in a few years. The question is not how you will react to a woman that has kids, but how a woman reacts to a man. It's a hurdle but far from an instant deal breaker.
/r/seduction06/11/11 03:24 PM
1

While many women would prefer a guy not have kids, the fact that so many men remarry after having kids with another woman indicates it's' far from a deal breaker. Also, practically all women love good dads.
/r/seduction06/11/11 03:55 AM
2

Ha ha I feel the exact opposite. If I could go back to college now, I would do the minimum to succeed in my studies and concentrate instead on how to develop emotional intelligence and interpersonal relationships. Out in the real world who you know is at least as important as what you know. 'Course, I studied music and now am a tech entrepreneur, so maybe I had the wrong major. OTOH most of my success in business is the result of meeting people and convincing them to work with me. Social skills …
/r/seduction05/11/11 06:42 PM
2

I thought it was interesting, but not really actionable. He describes archetypes of seduction -- the flatterer, the mystery man, the vagabond etc -- but not really how to do what they do.
/r/seduction05/11/11 06:38 PM
2

Not to be contrarian, but recommend you don't take on anything new. Habits are very hard to change, and failure can make it even worse (i.e. dieters who lose some weight but then end up even fatter than before). I'd suggest you take ONE thing and do it for 30 days. If that works, add another.
/r/seduction05/11/11 06:36 PM
4

Compliments are fine as long as they're authentic, specific but not too extravagant. "You have really pretty eyelashes" vs. "You're cute" I've had good success complimenting a woman's style. "I like your look, the way you put it all together. I get the sense you're a really creative person." If before the approach I've already made eye contact with a girl 2-3 times and she holds it or smiles, I'll just say "I have a question for you. " [Her: What?] "Actually, I don't have a question, I just thin…
/r/seduction04/11/11 11:20 PM
2

Curious, have you tried using sexual words like "blowjob" in the game?
/r/seduction04/11/11 07:13 PM
6

He says he's gotten multiple dates from it, so that means it's working. Seems like a good strategy - better than texting even because there's an implicit reason to keep chatting (i.e. to win the game) instead of blowing you off.
/r/seduction04/11/11 07:11 PM
1

I have now doubt you are not like the typical chick. You're not like other girls, you're different. There's something about your energy. Or maybe it's that you have a u-shaped smile. You are a special snowflake.
/r/seduction04/11/11 06:59 PM
1

Typical chick reply. "That stuff would never work on me."
/r/seduction04/11/11 04:55 AM
3

Chicks dig sociopaths.
/r/seduction04/11/11 01:49 AM
8

Snakes. Also, if you deprive a child of love, even holding it in your arms, it will be majorly fucked up later in life.
/r/seduction03/11/11 07:24 PM
1

If he plays the game well you don't know he's playing a game. Also, I don't always pull back. I only do it when I sense there might be some resistance. Do you prefer a guy who plows ahead until you say no or one who seems to be completely in sync with you? My bet is on #2.
/r/seduction03/11/11 07:23 PM
1

Get therapy. I've done it for other things and it really helps.
/r/seduction03/11/11 02:17 PM
1

Well, that's the crux of game, isn't it? "Is he interested in me?" A sense of mystery mixed in with confusion is attractive. Not that I do that all the time. Just in the lead-up to the first time we have sex.
/r/seduction03/11/11 05:35 AM
2

You might want to try Quora's Dating & Relationships group, but it's got a lot ot women who hate Game, so if you're looking for advice from guys only, you'll want to look elsewhere. http://www.quora.com/Dating-Relationships/group Some rules of thumbs that have served me well: Tell the truth. Doesn't mean you have to volunteer everything, but never lie in response to a direct question. Don't get defensive. Never allow yourself or your partner to be contemptuous. Arguments are normal, but personal…
/r/seduction03/11/11 03:02 AM
1

I usually pull away completely and say I have to check my email or the score of a baseball game or whatever.
/r/seduction02/11/11 11:19 PM
1

Here's one that I've used a couple times: "I want to take you home and make love to you." Then wait for a response. Most women have never heard a guy say that and it will scare her a little. She'll probably say no, but it does plant the seed. It's paid off for me multiple times. It's also backfired a couple times too, but it was fun to see their reaction.
/r/seduction02/11/11 11:17 PM
0

She's definitely into you. Ask her to band thing. Push-pull: you don't really need it at this point except maybe when you're getting close to sex. But for future reference a good thing I've done is to wait until she says something that could reasonably disqualify her. So if she mentions her cat you could say "Oh no, you're a cat lady? I swore off cat ladies. This relationship is doomed." Then smile. She'll probably say "why?" and you can just give a vague answer like "cat ladies are crazy." That…
/r/seduction02/11/11 09:33 PM
1

I've struggled with depression all my life. For me, at least, it's not just less happiness and low energy. It's not even having an idea of what normal energy and happiness feels like. Suicide becomes an option because you can't even imagine what it feels like to feel good, so why waste time? I tried St. John's Wort and numerous other anti-depressants - no help. The only one that has worked for me is Zoloft and the difference is just shocking. I can't believe how much better I feel when I'm on it…
/r/seduction01/11/11 07:43 PM
2

Who says he isn't?
/r/seduction01/11/11 03:25 AM
11

I'm old enough to remember the original Walkman and it was common to see people wearing those while out & about even in the eighties.
/r/seduction01/11/11 03:24 AM
2

43 and still trying...
/r/seduction29/10/11 08:55 PM
4

I have a similar style. At times my energy does spike, but it shows up conversationally as funny non-sequiturs, not high-fives. Sometimes I wish I was more of a high energy extrovert, but when I look around me I see a lot of beautiful women with guys who are not like that. Conclusion: high energy, like dressing well, being tall, being handsome etc, adds a little to your game, but there are many ways to compensate.
/r/seduction29/10/11 08:49 PM
2

The 5-7 hours thing is overrated IMO. IME a woman is either a ONS type of girl or not. Sometimes I was the first person they've done it with, but in all cases it was pretty obvious within two hours whether it was going to happen that night.
/r/seduction29/10/11 08:45 PM
0

Not true. I've hooked up with three married chicks (at least). It was great because they didn't want an LTR.
/r/seduction28/10/11 03:28 PM
1

Three in the last 2.5 years, plus 4-5 first-date bangs that did not arise from bars. Two of the bar closes were in a business networking context. Another was at a bar in DC. I almost reeled one in last Halloween (to the point we were literally leaving the bar to go back to my place but I stupidly let her check in with her cockblock friends first). Looks-wise they were all in the 7 range. Halloween chick was an 8. In most cases it all happened within 3-hours, but one was a lunch date that extende…
/r/seduction27/10/11 07:47 PM
2

I've heard this, but I think it's contextual. It's one thing to just smile all the time. It's another to only do it after you've locked eyes for a few seconds. I've certainly closed plenty of girls after smiling. In fact, women often compliment me on my smile. YMMV.
/r/seduction26/10/11 09:49 PM
2

+1 for waving. I always forget to do it when I'm out alone, but a friend of mine does it and it always seems to lead to a conversation.
/r/seduction26/10/11 09:46 PM
2

I've asked this question of a lot of hot girls and most of them don't get hit on in the daytime more than once or twice a week. And this number often includes things like catcalls from construction workers. Party girls who go out clubbing every night get more attention when out, but much less so in the daytime.
/r/seduction26/10/11 01:50 PM
1

There are a lot of the very strippers with kids and a deadbeat dad. But you're generally right. The most desirable women are both beautiful and independent. They have higher standards that are tougher for the average guy today than even a few years ago.
/r/seduction26/10/11 01:45 PM
2

I call bullshit. I buy that maybe you had success with a disheveled look -- so do a lot of rock stars. But not showering for weeks at at time? Not brushing your teeth? Smell matters. An unshaved face is sexy, but nasty breath is gross. Maybe you naturally don't get bad breath, but I sure do and go out of my way to make sure I don't have it.
/r/seduction25/10/11 10:12 PM
1

In a weird way, I think it's kind of the opposite. Think about how many single moms there are. Somebody fucked them, and demographically speaking, the guys who did it are usually on the lower end of the totem pole financially. So to my way of thinking, they found a way to prove masculinity without using their job as their identity. Many black women say there's a crisis in black America because there are so few men (relatively) who aren't in prison, on drugs, broke or all three.
/r/seduction25/10/11 10:08 PM
1

I disagree. I've definitely escalated girls on the dance floor in the real world. In fact, I've done it more than I ever did in college. Which was over twenty years ago. :) Last time I did it was at a concert last Halloween and I look forward to doing it again next weekend.
/r/seduction23/10/11 07:44 PM
3

Awesome FR. I've done salsa classes a couple times and there are plenty of hot chicks at them, but my skills are still pretty so-so. I'm going back.
/r/seduction21/10/11 11:10 PM
1

See a therapist and possibly take medication. About 2.5 years ago I went through a divorce (bad enough) then had a really crazy rebound relationship that left me suicidal. Coincidentally this was right around the time I first learned about game, and I used some of the concepts of inner game to basically rebuild my identity. I found a great therapist who really helped me get my head straight, but I also took anti-depressants and think that was responsible for at least 50% of the improvement. I st…
/r/seduction21/10/11 02:12 PM
2

Hm. Before I learned game I was scared to death to approach women and wouldn't escalate until I knew it was in the bag. I'm good looking enough to have gotten laid by maybe a dozen women that way. These days I approach way more women and get rejected way more often. Statistically my success rate is probably lower, but I'm positive my absolute number of successes is higher than it otherwise would be.
/r/seduction21/10/11 01:55 AM
1

I won't say 100% responded positively, but I've definitely been like that with some chicks and not been an issue. None has acted creeped out.
/r/seduction20/10/11 11:33 PM
2

Exactly. A friend of mine hits on women at parties by saying "You look familiar. Have we slept together? You'd remember me because I'm really bad in bed." Not related to this particular situation, but while insecurity is bad, vulnerability is often very attractive.
/r/seduction20/10/11 11:30 PM
7

she tells me to sext her when I get back safe. "I made it home safely. And so did my huge cock!"
/r/seduction20/10/11 07:56 PM
1

That was awesome to read.
/r/seduction18/10/11 09:14 PM
1

I dunno, I think there's some value there. Particularly the part about Active Listening. I used to do this too much -- seeking approval by validating everything she said. These days I try only to respond if I genuinely feel a response to what they say (positive or negative). As a result I've been told I'm hard to read, which creates a sense of mystery.
/r/seduction18/10/11 07:46 PM
2

If you're a good looking guy, you can probably go direct. I've had decent results saying "Can I ask you a question?" (She says yes.) "Actually, I don't have a question, I just think you're adorable and wanted to talk to you." But that can be scary for newbies, so in this case you can just say "hi, how are you?"
/r/seduction18/10/11 06:32 PM
1

This happened to me the other night. I think she was genuinely attracted because of some other signs, but she was also married with a kid. She didn't mention this (being married or saying I was gay) until I had been talking to her for a while and I suspect she was using both as a way to prevent herself from getting too close. I've had a lot of girls say I'm a man's man, so I really doubt I was giving off a weird vibe.
/r/seduction17/10/11 09:09 PM
1

Coffee shops in college towns are great. Lots of girls go there to study, but they're often bored with studying and thus welcome a distraction.
/r/seduction17/10/11 09:02 PM
2

Boasting is bad, but describing your adventures is good. For example, I went to Australia a few months ago. It would be boasting (and boring) for me to say "I travel a lot, like I was just in Australia." Instead, I talk about how amazing it was to see so many colorful fish at once and hang out with a tiger shark at night.
/r/seduction17/10/11 08:58 PM
1

If you care what your friends think, then you won't try to bang her no matter how hot she is. Bros before hos and all that. If you don't care, then what you did was fine though maybe not so much alcohol next time. Present it as a challenge for her, like you can get any girl without her help but it'll be fun to show her how. And don't worry about that DLV stuff. As long as you're confident and present it as a fun activity for both of you, not some woe-is-me-Ima-loser thing, you'll still end up lo…
/r/seduction17/10/11 08:53 PM
1

First, I would've declined the drinks. However, I'm an alcoholic and can't even have just one. For a long time I avoided night game for this reason, but Sat night I went out and had a great time. Didn't pull, but it was fascinating watching all the drunken drama going on at 2 am. Second, if you really do care about fucking things up with your friends, you should've used her to get someone else. You started doing that with the game of hitting on other girls and should've kept it up. Or you could'…
/r/seduction17/10/11 05:29 PM
1

...you get an eye for who's full of it got good game, and who isn't doesn't. FTFY. Wow, some guy said something you didn't like -- IOW you didn't like the way it made you feel -- and so you kicked him to the curb and struck a blow for all the logical females out there. A logical person might have asked him why he said that instead of retaliating emotionally. A logical person might ask whether there is a spectrum of rationality and why it is that women tend to cluster around occupations that are …
/r/seduction17/10/11 05:11 AM
1

Hmmm... Do you mention game to them at all, or just suggest trying to meet new people? If the latter, then you're fine as long as you accept that they won't be good wings and you're mostly on your own. If the former, you might have a situation where they think you're icky and in which case I'd either shut about game around them or stop gaming when I'm out with them. Last night I was out with a couple buddies and hooked one of them up with the hottest girl in the room. They both know about game b…
/r/seduction16/10/11 08:56 PM
3

It's not like I'm sad about it. It's just that I'm an introvert, ergo being social is often a drain on my energy. So is working out at the gym when I'm not in the mood. Nonetheless, they both have positive impacts over the long term.
/r/seduction16/10/11 07:23 PM
3

Of course there are exceptions, but stereotypes exist for a reason. Women, especially hot women, live in a world that's very different even than that of a good looking man. Since they are often hit on in a beta-esque manner (small talk that doesn't go anywhere), it takes more than just a man's attention to impress them. They need to be triggered emotionally because otherwise most guys don't stand out. For men, most of us get hit on about 1% as much as the average woman, so showing any interest a…
/r/seduction16/10/11 05:10 PM
2

Sort of... It also has to do with interests. Women being (on average) more social, they are (on average) more attracted to social men. But not all men, including high-value men, like being social. I fall into this category. I'm successful in most ways you would define success, but I don't particularly like the process of meeting and chasing women. Nonetheless I've learned to do it in the same sense that I've learned to keep my house clean and do laundry.
/r/seduction16/10/11 05:04 PM
1

I've had girls do this to me too. Re: not sure if you knew her, I've had this happen to me too and so I just say "I get the feeling we've met before. Have we?" If the answer is yes, then it's a subtle neg. If not, then it's an opportunity talk about how many friends you have and how Facebook has made it hard to keep track.
/r/seduction16/10/11 04:44 PM
1

Women overthink this. They assume that because neediness is a turn-off to women, it's a turn-off for men. True, we don't want emotional basket cases, but it's not as big a deal to us. Also, women overvalue their own levels of confidence and success. The average guy doesn't care what you do for a living or how brave you are.
/r/seduction16/10/11 01:13 AM
4

I don't know that we want to be chased, but we definitely don't enjoy chasing women. That's really common (and wrong) mother-daughter advice that shoots women in the foot. That kind of advice may have worked better 50 years ago, but now men have so many more options than in the past. Not just other women, but also things like video games and porn. Men give up pretty quickly if a girl doesn't show reciprocal interest because they assume it's not mutual. They don't understand the emotional games m…
/r/seduction16/10/11 01:12 AM
1

I think I'll try a variation on this tonight. My hope is she'll say something that "reminds" me to add something to my bucket list. I'll pull out the phone and add "kiss [girl's name]" to it. Note to self: remember to delete her name before using on the next girl
/r/seduction15/10/11 11:11 PM
1

I once saved a woman's life using the Heimlich maneuver As a thank-you, she bought me gift certificate for skydiving I recently went scuba diving in Australia, so that comes up a lot The secret to good storytelling is to paint a picture and inject emotion. The heimlich maneuver story took place on an airplane, so I describe how crowded the flight was, how tired we were after a long day of work, how crappy the food we were eating was, the fact that this was before 9/11 when they still served free…
/r/seduction15/10/11 05:07 PM
2

Did she find someone new and was trying to let me down gently? My money is on this one. Or she may have had a BF all along and these little vacation lays "don't count."
/r/seduction15/10/11 04:58 PM
1

Tangent alert. The other night I was out with a fuckbuddy and her very hot friend (HB9). I didn't try anything because the subject of HB9's boyfriend came up almost from the moment I met her (the fuckbuddy mentioned him). I chatted with HB9 for a while about her career goals. She's in law school and I'm an entrepreneur. She wants to work with tech startups like mine. So she was very interested in a professional sense. Anyhoo, a little while later the boyfriend showed up. We hung out for a while …
/r/seduction15/10/11 04:55 PM
3

I am the 1%.
/r/seduction15/10/11 04:44 PM
3

Effort, btw, can make an HB7 look like a 9. I love it when girls paint their toenails, stay in shape, get their hair done and wear sexy clothes. But it's a lot of work - most women spend $70-80/month just on their hair! Point being, if you want women who make an effort, you very likely have to make an effort too.
/r/seduction13/10/11 02:55 PM
2

I can relate. I live in a college town and today hit on a girl outside Starbucks. Turns out she's a freshman. I'm 43. Fuck! That said, I didn't feel creepy and she didn't seem creeped out. Also, I hooked up with a 21 yo last Halloween and age was not an issue.
/r/seduction13/10/11 02:58 AM
3

I'm an alcoholic and thus prefer day game. I'm experimenting more with bar approaches, but honestly I don't like staying out so late. I work a lot and most bars don't get hopping until 11:30. Hate being so tired the next day.
/r/seduction13/10/11 02:54 AM
1

What's so disgusting about them? The women are obviously having a good time, and if he's getting results...
/r/seduction13/10/11 02:51 AM
1

If you stay in shape that window can stay open for a while. I'm 43 and last year hooked up with a 21 yo. Last week I hooked up with a 25 yo. But I'm also in great shape and can afford to dress well.
/r/seduction12/10/11 10:42 PM
1

If he feels lonely, he's not alpha. If not, he is.
/r/seduction07/10/11 08:11 PM
2

You don't have to drink booze at a bar. Just get club soda with a lime. People will assume it's a mixed drink. I don't drink either and no one has ever said a word about it.
/r/seduction05/10/11 10:42 PM
4

Have you had sex yet? If not, I'd say it's a bit of a shit test. I'd ignore it or say something like "that's cool, turnabout is fair play." If you've had sex, I would ask her why she thinks that, and why she thinks I'm like every other guy.
/r/seduction05/10/11 10:37 PM
6

Silence and eye contact is very powerful. Just look her in the eye and wait for her to say something. It's scary but also awesome.
/r/seduction04/10/11 02:51 PM
2

Yeah, I agree. The main difference between asshole guy and nice guy is, asshole guy doesn't have any friends are girls (that he's attracted to). He either closes them or gets blown out. Which isn't necessarily bad IMO. If you hang out with a girl only because she's attractive and not because you want to be friends with her, that way lies heartache.
/r/seduction03/10/11 07:53 PM
1

Def go for another round. I bet she feels insecure that you couldn't get it up for her. I often have a hard time reaching orgasm and women take it personally unless I reassure them. It's only awkward if you let it be awkward.
/r/seduction03/10/11 02:12 AM
1

Don't think of it as losing. Think of it as experience. Now go out and land one the other 3 billion women on the planet.
/r/seduction02/10/11 07:57 PM
12

This one is done. You probably came across as insecure and needy, and in any case she may already have moved on to another guy (which would explain why she was avoiding you).
/r/seduction02/10/11 02:31 PM
5

Mark Manson used to have a post about how to baby-step your way into approaching, but I can't find it now. Basically, it boiled down to something like this: Week 1: Ask 10 hot girls what time it is Week 2: Ask 10 hot girls to recommend a good restaurant. Ask them why they like that particular restaurant Week 3: Compliment 10 girls on their fashion sense (or something else situational) etc
/r/seduction30/09/11 02:37 PM
3

I'm pretty successful in business, but I don't think self-help books had much to do with it (though I did read the ones you mention). The sad reality is that careers choices are mostly a trial & error thing. You have to try a bunch of different jobs and perhaps industries until you find one you're really passionate about. For some people it's the industry that gets them fired up (i.e. someone who works in pro sports marketing). For others it might be the work itself , while industry doesn't matt…
/r/seduction29/09/11 10:29 PM
3

A couple years ago I was on a plane next to a very hot girl who unfortunately was married and had her 7-month old baby with here. I was just getting into game and thinking about frame control. I decided that I would put my arm on the armrest between us and not move if she did the same. She did. Are arms touched each other for a good half-hour. We didn't chat much and I didn't try to game her because she was flying home to her husband. (Plus, her baby started acting up and she got very stressed).…
/r/seduction29/09/11 08:18 PM
2

Great story. Please let us know how it goes.
/r/seduction29/09/11 02:46 PM
49

In improv they teach you to say "yes and..." This is also sometimes called "agree and amplify" So if he says "he wants to give you his number" you can say "yes and I was also thinking we'd catch the next flight to Vegas and get married. You like Elvis, right?" Juggler recommends practicing saying "yes" to any question: "So, are you out shopping today?" "Yes, and I'm shopping for a new attitude." "Are you a doctor?" "Yes. A Loooove doctor."
/r/seduction28/09/11 11:47 PM
3

O'Reilly and Hannity are not good examples because they can edit anything out that makes them look bad. A better example is O'Reilly when he's on someone else's show. He's been on Letterman and Colbert and held his own both times. They were trying to get him to break down and either apologize or throw a hissy fit. He did neither. Instead, he just smiled and deflected the questions. That's frame control. By all means, if someone does something you don't like, you can assertively tell them to knoc…
/r/seduction28/09/11 11:43 PM
1

It's about becoming more attractive, not lying. This may shock you to learn, but women like to have sex too. But they only like to do it with men they are attracted to.
/r/seduction27/09/11 02:56 PM
3

Good advice. I've had good luck with "I don't have sex on the first date, so don't get any ideas."
/r/seduction26/09/11 11:35 PM
0

Do you want to get close with this girl, or is she just a fling? If the former, then I would just stick with the status quo. But if you see a future with her, I'd bring this up in a non-threatening way that emphasizes your perspective. So instead of saying "why do you do this or that," say "I've noticed something about when we're together that makes me feel uncomfortable." In the past, I spent 6 months "being there" for a girl because she had issues from an ex of 3 three years. So tell her that.…
/r/seduction26/09/11 11:33 PM
5

Just hold out your hands and see if she grabs them. If so, pull her toward you and spin her. You don't have to say a word. I've made out with girls on the dance floor after only saying "hi!"
/r/seduction26/09/11 06:27 PM
1

I see where you're coming from, but ultimately that's her problem, not yours. There is a risk that she's the vindictive stalker type, but until I had evidence of that I wouldn't worry about it.
/r/seduction26/09/11 06:23 PM
1

"but no more so than anyone else she has ever met and had sex with, which is the whole point of learning game" FTFY
/r/seduction26/09/11 06:20 PM
7

It's only awkward if you let it be awkward. Go for it, and if she rejects you, you'll learn how to not let it be a big deal. This is a valuable skill in life. Last year I left a company I co-founded because of irreconcilable differences with the other founders. It was very tense at the end, and I could have let it turn into a bitter divorce. Instead, we worked out a settlement and remain friends.
/r/seduction26/09/11 01:03 AM
1

Huh? What exact shit isn't going to fly? He led the interaction. If she had resisted, he could've tried something else, but the worse mistake would have been not to lead at all. And what leads YOU to believe HE's leading her on? Or that they only did vanilla sex? Nothing in the FR. Project much? If a girl comes to your place for drinks, she is almost certainly DTF.
/r/seduction25/09/11 07:16 PM
5

"I lost a bet with a friend and I have to ask the hottest girl here to dance. So my question for you is... who's the hottest girl here?"
/r/seduction25/09/11 04:13 AM
1

Leaders don't have to be loud and boisterous. They just have to show they care. Instead of trying to think of things to say, ask questions. As a manager in business, whenever someone brings me a problem, the first thing I asks is what they think the ideal outcome should be, and how they would go about achieving it. Doesn't mean I automatically do what they say, but they feel like they've been heard and that we're working to solve the problem together instead of just me dictating.
/r/seduction24/09/11 09:17 PM
2

I've found this works if you anticipate the resistance and withdraw on your own. For example, if you start putting your hand up her shirt and she sort of pushes away, don't say anything. Just pull back and say something innocuous like "I wonder what time it is...?" Then get up and look at your phone. Going to the bathroom is good too. I've also checked email and said I want to see the score of a game. (Edit) Also, I always make sure to completely leave her embrace and get off the bed, couch, wha…
/r/seduction24/09/11 09:13 PM
2

Don't get me wrong. I have huge respect for those who practice the traditions. So much so that I don't participate in the sport because I know on the inside I think they're silly. Feels hypocritical to do something you don't respect.
/r/seduction24/09/11 07:09 PM
8

A friend of mine excels at text game, but he really is a master. He never sends things like "what's up?" or "how are u?"
/r/seduction24/09/11 07:07 PM
1

Dude, I can think of a lot worse ways to make $5 million.
/r/seduction24/09/11 03:31 PM
1

Main reasons I like Crossfit: Intense, full-body workout Group classes with instructors that push me will past my self-imposed limits Old school approach - the "gym" is actually a warehouse, lots of homemade apparatus Downsides: Even after a year, I often ache like hell a couple days after a workout. It's even worse if I slip up and miss a week. A bit expensive - $150/month I tried a Muay Thai class this summer and really liked the workout, but I don't care for all the eastern mumbo jumbo (bowin…
/r/seduction24/09/11 03:16 PM
1

Austin is a great party town, plus lots of live music. I live in Boulder, which has tons of hot girls but not as much of a bar scene except on campus.
/r/seduction24/09/11 03:11 PM
1

That's what I did. She gave me her # the first time and we exchanged a few texts during the past week.
/r/seduction23/09/11 09:44 PM
1

Yes, you there. Next time I won't do it. But if you didn't understand it then perhaps she didn't either. Is nonsense beta? Dunno.
/r/seduction23/09/11 09:43 PM
1

The confirmation texts were on Wednesday. I had texted her earlier because she asked me to, and she had held up her end of the convo until Wednesday.
/r/seduction23/09/11 09:43 PM
6

+1 for this. I've been doing Crossfit for the last year and now am ripped enough that girls comment on my biceps. Feels good.
/r/seduction23/09/11 06:59 PM
1

You can make any day funny just by narrating the whole day in an interesting way. "I woke up this morning and had to pee a little, but not too bad. Except that it was at 5 am, so I didn't want to get up. Have you ever had that happen to you?"
/r/seduction23/09/11 06:55 PM
4

Oops, I didn't know it posted. Reddit gave me an error when I tried to post before, so left that tab open and came back this morning.
/r/seduction23/09/11 06:01 PM
1

Congrats! Take one thing you didn't like about that approach and try to improve. Doesn't matter if you score. I found that when I first started approaching my biggest enemy was that I talked too fast and also bailed too fast. I've gotten better at both.
/r/seduction22/09/11 09:11 PM
2

There's nothing wrong with using the Internet. I met my now-ex-wife on Match.com. Go to a therapist if you can afford it. I've been to several over the years and learned a lot about myself.
/r/seduction22/09/11 02:32 AM
1

nbd to you, maybe, but to most girls that's hugely interesting.
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:49 AM
1

In person is best, but I've used email before and had good success.
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:45 AM
1

As long as you're not lying, I don't see the big deal. Think of all the things girls do to look good: hair, makeup, fashion etc. A girl I've been seeing recently spends $80/month just on her hair!
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:44 AM
3

Seriously, you wouldn't be creeped out by a guy old enough to be your father?
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:41 AM
2

The Game kind of plays up the idea of scoring with gorgeous models and actresses like you'll find in LA, New York & Miami.
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:40 AM
2

I stay away from nightclubs for the same reason. There are plenty of other places to meet girls. Coffee shops, wine bars, happy hours, Whole Foods, book stores, cooking classes, yoga class etc
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:34 AM
4

Yeah, my worst rejections have been from 7s.
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:32 AM
1

People aren't judging you on whether you do/or do not follow a trend. The truth is, most people aren't thinking about you at all. This is all in your head. Who cares if you're a follower? Not me, nor do most people. All that matters is if the activity or subject matter interests you. So what it there are a million other people doing it? I'm 43. Here are some of the things I've done this year: Thai kickboxing class Samba dance class Marched in gay pride parade Went to several tech conferences Ado…
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:31 AM
1

Success just means you have some goal you're working toward, or a passion you're exploring. It doesn't have to be money, but it has to be meaningful to you. If it is, it will show in your conversations. You'll be enthusiastic when talking about it. Niceness from fake to real? Pretty much all conversations start like this: "Hi, how are you?" "I'm fine, how are you?" How much of that is sincere? Superficial chat only stops being superficial when you find an emotional connection. It might be a real…
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:20 AM
11

There's only so much you can do. Most of these girls sound like they have issues and there's nothing he could've done better. Think about it: if you approach 100 women, at least 10-15 will have some form of mental illness, addiction, abusive parents, they just got out of a bad relationship, they just lost their job etc. By all means, try to learn from your mistakes, but not all rejections can be overcome. Some girls are just plain fucked up.
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:07 AM
1

Just smile when you say it. And if she says yes, you can say something like "aw shucks, you don't have to be nervous around me" and do light kino to reinforce the point.
/r/seduction22/09/11 01:00 AM
2

Exactly. Most guys fall all over themselves trying to prove they're worthy. Really attractive women are not used to guys pushing them away. Also, many women love a challenge. That's why they're always trying to change or fix the guy who treats her like shit.
/r/seduction22/09/11 12:56 AM
1

Re: fashion and women - it's not superficial to be attracted to someone who dresses well. Women are most attracted to success (I didn't say money), and clothes are a quick filter on that. Like I said, you don't have to dress like you work on Wall Street, just dress like you give a shit what you look like. All niceness is fake until it becomes real. No one except your mom you unconditionally. Everyone else you have to cultivate a relationship with, and that starts with superficial banter. But not…
/r/seduction22/09/11 12:53 AM
1

Everything in moderation. The PUA world is full of hucksters, but Mark Manson (the guy at Practical Pickup) IMO is really solid. Check out the Q&A he did at http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ibvyv/iama_mark_manson_of_practical_pick_up_qa/ I've learned a lot about myself from Game. I've scored with probably a dozen women that I never would have in the past. That does a lot for your confidence. I've also become more adventurous and more interesting. A big part of this is just adopting a m…
/r/seduction22/09/11 12:43 AM
1

Also, you're right, I should approach anyway. I'm gun shy because I once got shot down hard by a ~21 yo at a bar. I walked up and introduced myself, and the first thing she said was "how old are you?!" I mostly ignored it, but she was hostile the entire conversation. Her friends were more neutral.
/r/seduction21/09/11 10:19 PM
1

Re night game: I'm an alcoholic and thus avoid bars. Also, I work a lot and can't stay out late.
/r/seduction21/09/11 10:16 PM
6

My biggest hang-up is age. I've gotten reasonably good at Game, but I'm 43 and have a hell of a time approaching younger women. I live in a college town, so there are just scads of hot girls aged 18-22. I'm not looking to hook up with someone that young, but sometimes I can't tell if a girl is a student or just a young professional. I'm told I'm handsome and have hooked up with young girls in the past (last Halloween I made out with a 21 yo and almost took her back to my place), but those were a…
/r/seduction21/09/11 07:30 PM
1

If you don't care about fashion, fine. But don't go after girls who do. Or think of it another way: you probably don't LIKE brushing your teeth, washing the dishes or taking out the trash, but you do it anyway. Fashion is kind of like that. Here's a good article about it: http://www.practicalpickup.com/shut-up-and-dress-well If nothing else, talking to girls at the department store is a great way to practice. It's their job to be nice to you, and they often have very good fashion advice. Also, t…
/r/seduction21/09/11 03:48 PM
1

Sure. Slightly re-frame it in your terms. "You seem to have a good energy about you. How about we get a drink and see if there's a connection?"
/r/seduction21/09/11 03:33 PM
1

It's also to get her chasing you: "You're a hairdresser? I swore off dating hairdressers long ago." "Wait, how old are you? You're way too young for me. I like mature girls." My personal favorite, after she's come home with me: "I never have sex on the first date, so don't get any ideas."
/r/seduction20/09/11 11:07 PM
2

Just go to a strip clubs and make eye contact with a stripper on the stage. She's a pro. I've never seen fuck-me eyes before I've hooked her, and even then not until we're back at my place.
/r/seduction20/09/11 11:03 PM
5

If I'm really vibing with a girl, I'll go ahead and buy her a drink, but IME it's rare that she even asks. If you decided to push back, make sure to smile when you say it, perhaps tease her with "are you one of those girls who plays guys for free drinks?" If she cops an attitude over that she was just playing you for drinks anyway.
/r/seduction20/09/11 11:01 PM
10

Exactly. It's really tempting early on to play the role of a narcissist. If you want to get rid of the Nice Guy smell, think of yourself as a Good Guy instead. A Good Guy will help little old ladies across the street, always have a good attitude, take care of himself and always have a friend's back. He also will not take shit from a douchebag (male or female), not get defensive when challenged and go after what he wants.
/r/seduction20/09/11 07:28 PM
6

This is great. Just keep doing approaches. If you start noticing conversational problems, come back for specific advice, but what you described is pretty much textbook.
/r/seduction20/09/11 07:22 PM
1

So it sounds like you're doing all the basics well. But just to be sure, ask a female friend for advice on the fashion. If you don't have any female friends, go to a department store and ask the women working there. They have a much better eye than guys. Also, I didn't mention grooming. Get a cool haircut, brush your teeth and get a tongue scraper (don't overlook this - it helps prevent bad breath) The way for a guy to not look average is not to act average. As long as you're not seriously overw…
/r/seduction20/09/11 07:17 PM
2

One thing you can do in this situation is just ask "are you nervous?" She may or may not admit to it, but it might just break the ice. Ask it from the point of view of an observation, not being worried that you're the one making her nervous.
/r/seduction20/09/11 02:42 PM
3

Exactly. I was no longer attracted and stupidly told her why. Very painful conversation.
/r/seduction20/09/11 02:21 PM
1

Don't measure yourself based on people who get threesomes. It's incredibly rare. Those guys didn't talk their women into doing that, they just happend to marry a unicorn. Congrats on curbing the drinking. It really does make things worse. How do you feel about yourself physically? Are you in decent shape? you don't have to be super hot, just average is fine. How about your style of dress? Do you wear something besides sweats and t-shirts?
/r/seduction20/09/11 03:09 AM
1

Hang in there. The meds should help with the worst feelings (though you may have to try a few different ones), but I strongly encourage you stick with the counseling to really explore where the feelings of worthlessness come from. You probably won't be able to get rid of them completely, but you can develop coping skills. A word of caution: get used to the idea that this may happen to you over and over in your life. The therapy should help you learn to recognize the warning signs. Finally, if at…
/r/seduction20/09/11 02:09 AM
6

Go for it. I had a crush on a hot girl girl in my social circle in college but never made a move. Ten years later we happened to reconnect online and she admitted the feeling had been mutual, gave me shit for not making a move. We later met up in NY and she had put on 30 pounds. Augh!
/r/seduction20/09/11 02:04 AM
1

I'm an atheist and believe pretty much all religions are bonkers. That said, I've hit on a lot of girls who believe otherwise, so I keep it to myself.
/r/seduction19/09/11 11:33 PM
2

I've never tried to pick one of them up per se, but I have made the interaction more playful. Typically they'll ask "how are you today?" like a robot. I usually respond very enthusiastically with "I am awesome!!" That usually gets a laugh and often leads to more interaction about what kind of day they're having. I've also responded with "Oh, about an 8" (as in 1-10 scale) Actually, now that I think about it, I did this once with a waitress at a ski resort and ended up getting her number. We went…
/r/seduction19/09/11 09:45 PM
1

There's a difference between successful and famous. Did you see the link to the EE escort? My point is you seem to assume that it's impossible for a stripper to have self respect. The intellectual girl nonetheless chose stripping, so I suspect it has nothing to do with that. You focused on what "most people" think -- most people by definition not being strippers. So it's kind of stupid to care what they think. The reason I started this thread is not because I think it's degrading to be a strippe…
/r/seduction19/09/11 09:19 PM
1

Who cares what society thinks? Have you even read the PUA stuff? It's all about doing what YOU want to do and not giving a shit about others. Yeah, I'm sure a lot of strippers have low self respect, but the fetish model mentioned above and Cody Diablo clearly do not. She wrote a great blog about her experience, which is how she landed an agent and later a screenplay deal. She loved stripping. If you don't believe that's possible, that says more about you than her. Clearly the fetish model and Co…
/r/seduction19/09/11 08:51 PM
4

"without seeming like you're promoting yourself." This is important. Try never to say something about yourself unless it's in the context of an interesting story. One I throw out a lot is a recent scuba diving trip I took to Australia. I don't brag about being well-traveled, I just talk about the most amazing experience I had recently. That's actually a good open-ended question: "What's something amazing you did or happened to you recently?" If she can think of something, ask her how it made her…
/r/seduction19/09/11 07:47 PM
2

Self respect comes from your self, not anonymous people on the Internet. Check out Cody Diablo. She stripped for a few years, respected herself and went on to write an Oscar winning screenplay.
/r/seduction19/09/11 07:20 PM
2

Re: stop and start - make sure you mean it. You have to be willing to walk away.
/r/seduction19/09/11 07:17 PM
2

"Any advice on how to get my reaction time down or how to re-engage once you've left?" Just walk back up to her and say "I was about to leave, but I I think you're adorable and would kick myself if I didn't introduce myself." Given that you've already gotten a smile from her, she'll probably be really flattered and maybe blush a bit. From there you can say "you have nice smile too" etc etc
/r/seduction19/09/11 06:30 PM
2

What he said, with the caveat that you should never lie to either of them. If she finds out you lied, she will dump you. You don't have to spill your guts or anything, but don't pretend you're exclusive when you're not. Once you feel good about one of them, tell her you want to be exclusive. If she says yes, let the other one down easily.
/r/seduction19/09/11 04:40 PM
5

One thing Juggler always advises is to ask her relationship situation. Not "status," or "do you have a boyfriend," but "what's your relationship situation." If she says I have a boyfriend, probably nothing's going to happen. But she might say "it's complicated," then you have a shot.
/r/seduction19/09/11 04:37 PM
1

I had a similar situation this past week, actually with two different girls. In both cases it will be more than a week before seeing them again. I filled the time by seeing other girls. In one case (the stripper) I did a little texting with her but decided to shut it down lest I seem too available.
/r/seduction19/09/11 04:07 PM
1

Ha, that's a good story. I once tried get another stripper to go home with me, but I didn't give her any money. She just sat in my lap and showed me pictures of her paintings.
/r/seduction19/09/11 03:33 PM
1

I've been alone pretty much every time I've picked up a girl at night. I can only think of one time I was out with a wing and he wasn't a true wing in the sense of knowing PUA, just a friend. That said, I don't generally do night game any more because I don't like bar-hopping alone.
/r/seduction19/09/11 03:28 PM
2

PUA == risk. Try it and see if it works. If it fails, so what? It's not like there are 3 billion other women to try something else with. [Edit] This reminds me of what some friends of mine did. They took some leather gloves to a club and went up to girls, slapped them on the cheek and said "I challenge you to a duel." Both got laid that night.
/r/seduction19/09/11 03:24 PM
8

OP: "Would you guys have any tips on how I could turn this headgear into an advantage?"
/r/seduction19/09/11 03:12 AM
1

I think he can recover. A girl like this probably gets a LOT of messages, so just the fact that she replied shows interest. If he just assumes attraction from here on out and stays dominant, that's no more work than if he'd never said that in the first place. Also IME girls who date online really appreciate a guy who can spell, uses good grammar and show interest in something other than her looks. NEVER tell her she's cute or beautiful in your messages. I prefer "you seem to have a good energy a…
/r/seduction19/09/11 02:43 AM
7

Have you seen the way Mystery dresses?
/r/seduction19/09/11 02:37 AM
0

It's worked for me. I learned it from this guy.
/r/seduction19/09/11 02:12 AM
5

They are both manipulative, but the difference is that The Rules don't work. They are applying Game theory to men, but men are far too simple for that. Women are told to think that "men like the chase," which is such BS. What we like are nice tits, a nice ass and a cool personality. The one Rule that I do believe is valid (for women) is to hold off on sex. A lot of guys will give up if they don't get laid on the third or fourth date, and the majority of those guys weren't that into her. (Edit) A…
/r/seduction19/09/11 02:08 AM
37

Would it be sacrilegious to put a cool button or jewelry on it? Could be a cool peacock accessory. [Edit] A button that says "Not a Terrorist" might get some laughs.
/r/seduction19/09/11 01:56 AM
2

I would probably call her on it. "Is this going to be another one of those nights where you flirt shamelessly, but then pretend we're just friends? I'm not interested in that." Unless of course you're cool with just being friends with her. Don't become an orbiter, though.
/r/seduction19/09/11 01:36 AM
2

Did she write anything else? Sometimes girls post naughty pics because they like the validation that comes with lots of men contacting them. I would make no reference to the pictures or her looks at all. Also, this exchange seems a little intense. I would try to inject humor and suggest a coffee date. Also, show you have standards by saying that chemistry is the most important thing to you, so you want to do something quick and low-pressure and make sure you're both not wasting your time.
/r/seduction19/09/11 01:32 AM
1

Ripoff. The place I go is like $10 for an hour, which is plenty of time for a date (jumping is a workout).
/r/seduction19/09/11 01:01 AM
1

It's not a big deal. I'm in control of my drinking enough that I can still go to a bar with a girl and just drink soft drinks or club soda. Most girls in my experience rarely drink more than one glass of wine.
/r/seduction19/09/11 01:00 AM
2

Yeah, not a good sign. Leave it alone. Try again in a couple days, then drop it if no response. Unfortunately flakes are part of the game.
/r/seduction19/09/11 12:58 AM
2

Ah, the hug drug. I don't drink, so I'm always sober at strip clubs (and thus often bored).
/r/seduction18/09/11 11:59 PM
3

And BTW 6 hours?!!! After an hour I feel like I've seen enough tits for a week.
/r/seduction18/09/11 11:19 PM
1

Noted. Though she did give me her number, her real name and I spent less than $40 the whole night, including drinks for me (and no one else).
/r/seduction18/09/11 11:18 PM
1

I've found that the only way for me to get over something like this is to cut off contact with the girl and just do things that make you happy (not pickup). I've found that PUA occasionally fucks with my head. I start looking at every girl as a target and I don't think that's a healthy way to approach the world. When you catch yourself thinking about her, try to remind her that you shouldn't be thinking about her at all. One thing that works for me -- don't laugh -- is to put a rubber band aroun…
/r/seduction18/09/11 10:50 PM
2

I've never used it as an opener, but I have told girls straight up that I want to take them home and make love to them. One time it worked, two other times it didn't. Note that the time it worked, she didn't agree right away. She said "I don't know about that, but maybe we could go for a walk." [Edit:] I learned this from Wayne Elise aka Juggler in The Game. He's big on telling a girl what you want (without being needy).
/r/seduction18/09/11 10:16 PM
-2

Suggest a date, but don't focus on logistics. Instead, paint a picture of the date first. "I know an Italian place that serves the world's best ravioli. I'd go there with you, but are you mature enough not to get sauce on your shirt?"
/r/seduction18/09/11 09:55 PM
7

Her: "so, you have a girlfriend?" You: "why, do you want an application?"
/r/seduction18/09/11 09:37 PM
0

That's no fun. I already get it for free from a couple other girls.
/r/seduction18/09/11 09:31 PM
4

Try doing it back? Schedule a date, then cancel it with a vague excuse. Call her on the phone and accidentally call her Amber. She'll say "who's Amber?" "Oh, ha ha. Just a girl I know."
/r/seduction18/09/11 09:24 PM
1

I agree with you on vulnerability. I've found that it's perfectly fine, even attractive, to admit your weaknesses. However, don't act like you need her to "save" you. (The crazy thing is, a lot of girls will want to "save" you anyway.) For example, I'm an alcoholic and have suffered from major depression. I used to be scared to tell women this. Now it frequently comes up as early as the first date, and it has not harmed me. To the contrary, it promotes intimacy and gets her to open up. I started…
/r/seduction18/09/11 09:12 PM
1

I had a similar problem in a LDR. One thing I learned is no more exclusive LDRs. I'm in an LDR now, but it's non-exclusive for either of us and we frequently turn to each other for dating advice.
/r/seduction18/09/11 09:08 PM
2

Good job! It took me quite a few approaches before I had the balls to ask a girl her number, and I got shot down a few times. (Still do.) Get comfortable with the idea that you will get rejected, but also think of it like this: if 1 in 5 girls actually gives you her number, every one who rejects you is just another step to the one who will.
/r/seduction18/09/11 09:03 PM
2

You soooo get me. ;)
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:56 PM
10

Here ya go: http://forbidden-j.com/
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:54 PM
9

Definitely will update, regardless of outcome.
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:49 PM
10

The same could be said of a lot of PhD candidates in general.
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:46 PM
4

I want your job. :)
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:45 PM
2

Good ideas. Two things that come to mind are a trampoline park (I've taken several dates there and had a good time) and Dave & Buster's, though I'm not much into video games. I'll noodle on this some more.
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:45 PM
1

I was dressed pretty well, better than most other guys there. She complimented me on my jacket. It's a different style than you usually see because I got it in China. I DHV'd by telling her I bought it last time I was in China. (And BTW I often get compliments on that jacket, not just in strip clubs. It's kind of a low-key peacock accessory.)
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:31 PM
2

Get back to me in 20 years. In the meantime, ask yourself if you're the same person today that you were 10 years ago.
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:30 PM
2

That's what I'm hoping. if I do say so myself, I am actually a pretty handsome guy and have a really good body (muscular but not roided out, sub 10% body fat). Plenty of non-strippers have told me I'm hot, and I've picked up chicks in their early twenties before.
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:17 PM
8

I know a former stripper who has a masters degree in electrical engineering. She stopped stripping after she got an engineering gig, but only because she was afraid co-workers might see her. Here's the kicker: she liked sex work and so became an escort on the side. Gets $300+ per hour (she's super hot).
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:13 PM
8

I don't need a girlfriend, I just want to have sex with her.
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:09 PM
2

Awesome advice. My goal is casual sex. I already have two other girlfriends. I live in Colorado and work in the B2B Internet industry. At the club I followed your rules about sexual disinterest. I didn't ogle her, didn't ask her about her job (though my friend did - he also bought a couple dances from her but she didn't ask him out). We mostly talked about how to market her side business. I think I'll use the age disqualifier. We've traded a couple texts where I asked if she's more than just a p…
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:09 PM
1

Actually, I don't really care about that. I'm not looking to make her my girlfriend.
/r/seduction18/09/11 08:04 PM
3

Yeah, I wonder about the daddy issues thing. She said her dad was seriously injured (to the point of disability) in the Iraq war.
/r/seduction18/09/11 05:37 PM
9

Duly noted.
/r/seduction18/09/11 05:36 PM
12

A couple other things for context: I was with a friend at the club and we mostly ignored the girls for about 80% of the time we were there. We were talking business stuff. We didn't sit by the stage and shove dollar bills into garters. (We were definitely different from all the other guys there.) One girl did try to put her hooks in (and she was very hot), but I wasn't really that interested and could tell she was play-acting. It's funny how stripper game is so similar: lots of kino, pretending …
/r/seduction18/09/11 04:52 PM
27

You may be right, I'll keep my guard up. The idea of date came up in the context of talking about marketing ideas for her side business. She asked if I had a girlfriend first, then said she was attracted to me. She said she felt awkward for asking and apologized. She may be playing me, but if so that's very tight game.
/r/seduction18/09/11 04:22 PM
14

Good advice. I'm definitely NOT taking her anywhere expensive. She actually suggested a cheap place for dinner.
/r/seduction18/09/11 04:12 PM
13

I don't buy this "once you've paid her you'll always be a client" stuff. A friend of mine dated a stripper after paying her for a dance, and she didn't pump him for more money. If she keeps asking for money, then of course it's business.
/r/seduction18/09/11 04:10 PM
19

Could be, we'll see. We talked about business -- she's trying to start her own business and I'm a successful entrepreneur -- before ever getting a dance from her. Also, she never asked me to buy a dance, it was just something I did because I was bored while waiting for a friend to finish up with another girl.
/r/seduction18/09/11 03:59 PM
1

That bar called Madam's Organ. Second floor dance floor. I had bounced to a few places in the area that night without success. I was actually kind of depressed and about to head home before meeting her.
/r/seduction18/09/11 03:45 PM
1

Heh, you could even use that as a neg. "Are you one of the smart PhDs or the one who's doing it to avoid finding a job?"
/r/seduction16/09/11 09:37 PM
1

My honest advice: see a psychotherapist. You've been traumatized, and that shit does not heal easily. I went through a similarly bad breakup a couple years ago. I saw a therapist once a week for about a year and she really helped me process my emotions. If you can't afford a therapist, check to see if there's a nonprofit in your area that offers counseling services. And if you can, don't just go with the first therapist you come across. Practically all reputable therapists will give you the firs…
/r/seduction16/09/11 03:24 AM
1

I've done this (pull back and re-escalate) and found it works well. Ideally you do it before she actually says anything. If her body tenses up, I just stop kissing her and start talking about something trivial, or get up to check my email. For the bra thing, just say you got lucky.
/r/seduction16/09/11 03:18 AM
3

Ha, I'm not that bold. Took her back to a friend's apartment. This was in the Adams Morgan district in DC, which I highly recommend.
/r/seduction16/09/11 02:59 AM
3

I've never done this systematically, but I once f-closed a girl on the dance floor. She was dancing near me and we made eye contact. I grabbed her arm and pulled her in front of me. 30 seconds later we had our arms wrapped around each other. Next time just grap their hands and spin them around. If more than one is there, grab them both. Just remembered I also did this with a girl while dancing at a concert. In her case we kept making eye contact until she finally asked me my name. You could also…
/r/seduction15/09/11 11:04 PM
2

What kinds of follow-up messages? Are you immediately focusing on logistics like date and time? If so, try staying away from logistics and just focus on what the experience will be like. So you can say, "I know this totally divey Mexican place that has the best tacos. Are you the kind of person who can eat finger food without getting it all over your shirt?"
/r/seduction15/09/11 07:52 PM
1

This is a bad frame. PhDs are not magical. Think the founders of Google have PhDs? Bill Clinton? James Bond? It's a useless degree in a lot of fields unless you want to be a professor. You don't need a PhD to prove you're smart.
/r/seduction15/09/11 07:47 PM
4

Yes & no. Women don't always know what attracts them. They say one thing, but often something they superficially reject is attractive. I have FWB who, before me, had only had sex with two other guys. Without going TMI, in bed I really dominate and manhandle her, call her a slut and a whore, etc. She loves it, can't get enough. But she told me that if I'd asked her what she likes before meeting me, she would've said she wants to be treated like an equal in the bedroom. Not saying women aren't int…
/r/seduction14/09/11 10:29 PM
1

Yeah, it was an eye-opener for me too. You can even do it when things get sexual. Twice I've told girls I never have sex on the first date. Guess what happened on each first date? I've also told girls I don't kiss on the dance floor and voila.
/r/seduction14/09/11 09:32 PM
1

This is excellent. I sorta used something like this last night, though I didn't want a SNL because I had to get up early for work. I got a dance from a stripper at a strip club and she asked me out (I was shocked). This was before the dance even started. So during the dance I started painting a picture of what the date would be like, where we would go, what she would wear etc.
/r/seduction14/09/11 07:44 PM
1

"I know it's very likely I'm reading too much into this girl and I'm going to bang my head against the wall." She's definitely interested. She would not have sent her number if not. Even if not, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Take risks. You will fail a lot, but you will also succeed more than you ever dreamed. As for what to say, just suggest a date. Be specific. "I know this great Italian place that has the best ravioli. How about dinner next Tuesday?" Women LOVE when a guy plans a…
/r/seduction14/09/11 06:12 AM
3

Also, disqualification doesn't have to be about you. It can be something about her. "You don't like Movie XYZ? It would never work out between you and me. I only go for girls with good taste."
/r/seduction14/09/11 06:01 AM
0

Just act mature. Older women think younger guys are like high schoolers, so tone down the excitement and turn up the suave. Courtesy goes a long way. Open the door for her, ask her opinion about stuff, compliment her etc. Older women often don't go on a lot of dates, to they like to be reminded that they're still desirable. BUT, don't be afraid to lead. If you get a date with one, a big turn-on for a girl of any age is decisiveness. Don't ask her where she wants to go, tell her where you're goin…
/r/seduction13/09/11 11:05 PM
6

A good metaphor I once heard from Wayne Elise: Imagine you are a wolf up on a ridge looking down at a bunch of sheep. You are hungry. You are going to go down to the valley and try to catch sheep. You will fail at catching most of them. Possibly even all of them. Most of them will run away. You don't care, because you don't want to be friends with the sheep. You want to eat them. Girls are sheep. If you scare them away, that's okay. Just don't try to be their buddies. Go after what you want.
/r/seduction09/09/11 11:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter