I don't really ever post here, but I just in, and had to get my thoughts down. Hopefully they will be reviewed and I get some critical comments. But I really just want to get my thoughts down...

Been making a lot of progress over the last few weeks. After a very long time of treating pickup like a chore that has to be endured, it has become fun again.

Did my first street-to-bedroom pull yesterday. For some reason it felt like no big deal. She was cute, so I made it happen. That's all I feel about it.

Tonight - went to a party. There was a really hot girl, but I got a little bored of her, and she was more into my buddy. So I just started talking to two girls nearby.

I went in kinda hard - just going in, saying hi, intro'ing myself. Exerted a strong and playful presence, and then let take the lead. Both of them liked me. That was no problem.

My real challenge at the moment has been just been open and honest about what I want. And I wanted to fuck one of the girls. Her friend left the party, and left us together. Me and hottie got on ok, so I pulled her over to a seat. We were talking for a while, and for that while I was looking for opportunities to put my intent out there.

I couldn't think of anything, so at one point I just asked her if she was single. Then I just took every opportunity to be flirtatiously bold.

Every time I said something that indicated interest, she laughed. It was cute.

Now here is where my breakthrough is:

Every time she laughed, I didn't congratulate myself. I didn't treat it as a win. It was no big deal. I was simply letting her know that I was up for it. That's all. If she wanted to stick around, she knows where that there is cock on offer.

I wasn't really joking around. I wasn't trying to be funny. It actually was funny, but I wasn't trying. Actually, I was quiet matter of fact about it.

This is the kind of dynamic in our conversation: at one point, when it looks like we were going our seperate ways, she asks me what I'm doing for the next few days. I said "flirting with you madly via sms and trying to get you to come over. That's the only thing I'm capable of thinking of right now". It was funny, she laughed. But I wasn't trying to make her laugh, and I wasn't kidding around. I was just putting myself out there.

I must do this more... just be really honest and open about my intent. No more pissing around. What I was doing tonight was fun, helped me to be relaxed, and let me feel like a guy just being cool with being a guy.