I'm so beta it hurts.

kongzilla · 2012-01-06T06:26:50+00:00

Dude, just relax man. I am going to explain the science behind the fear of rejection to you so you can understand how silly it is.

To better understand the fear of rejection you have to think about humanity as a whole on a much smaller scale. You see, back several thousand years ago before the dawn of writing, reading, and pretty much all forms of technology basically before civilization our ancestors lived a very primitive life. In this life early humans existed acephalous which is to basically be leaderless, and nomadic. citation (http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/peter-gronn-early-human-society-hunted-gathered-ndash-and-worked-without-leaders-1706868.html) Now the nomadic hunter gatherer groups of humans would have existed in very small groups the largest being 100 give or take 10.

With that being said if you lived in a larger group for the ease of numbers lets say there are 100 people including yourself in the group. 50 men 50 women, now lets take that a step further out of the 50 women 10 are near death (old age or disease) and as such are not available as mates, 10 are children, and finally 10 are claimed by stronger males. Now the original 50 women is 20 not only that but you are competing with the same number of men. So the worst thing for our ancestors in terms of procreation would have been to become ostracized by the females. The easiest way for this to have happened would have been to have failed to either A)not bring home enough food. Or B)become humiliated by the females or a larger male in front of the females. As a result our bodies are programmed to fear and hate rejection and other negative emotions. As a matter of fact recent studies have shown that emotional pain and physical pain have a lot in common in the brain citation(http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=what-causes-chest-pains)

Once ostracized from the group early humans would most certainly have faced immediate death due to either other humans, wild predators, or exposure to disease/the elements. So your fear of rejection has a lot more to do evolutionarily speaking then being afraid of an HB telling you no. This my friend is where AA comes from.

However, we live in modern times. If a girl tells you not interested you aren't going to be eaten alive by a big cat or die of exposure to sub zero weather. Look, coming from someone who has had horrible AA in the past and was about as beta as could be. I'll tell you it's not that bad to talk to women. There will be some who will be bitchy for the sake of being bitchy, there will be some who will be cool as shit it's just the numbers. Now with all of this being said you will fail from time to time. There is nothing wrong with this though, it is part of being a man. You must learn from your mistakes though and not make them again.

So look at tonight as a mistake you won't make again. Analyze it, but don't beat yourself up over it. Next time you're at a bar and you see a pack of HBs you want to talk to/sarge just grab your balls realize your not going to be eaten alive and go.

30vanquish · 2012-01-06T07:06:05+00:00

How to reconfigure your mindset to overcome AA (approach anxiety):

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/fgq0a/approach_anxiety_is_a_symptom_of_extreme/

I know how it feels.

I took extremely small steps to combat it.

What to do: Go up to 10 people and say "Hi." Don't worry about anything else for now. Just say hi, let them reply or you walk away.

Then you'll realize, wait a second, I survived that even though I said hi.

goose90proof · 2012-01-06T18:49:39+00:00

bump

yenners: "I'm sorry"

HB: "How sorry are you?"

yenners (smiling): "I'm sorry I don't know your name. I'm yenners. Dance?"

HB: "Can we just skip straight to the sex?"

2012-01-06T15:42:16+00:00

"I'm not really sorry. On second thought, maybe you should be sorry you ran into me."

Dude, stop seeking approval. You don't need that girl's approval. Ironically, when a woman knows you don't need her approval, she's a lot more likely to give it to you.

drumdance · 2012-01-06T22:04:48+00:00

Also, don't worry about saying something witty & clever. Main goal at this stage is just not to run away in fear. "Hi" and a smile is plenty.

2012-01-07T00:58:09+00:00

Could always go for the Tucker Max approach...

"I'm sorry."

"How sorry are you?"

"Very sorry you weren't aborted."

BudapestPUA · 2012-01-06T06:56:23+00:00

LOL dude epic story :D:D

This is the easiest situation, the girl invited you to open. Oh and the only person who can help you is you.

moshrider3 · 2012-01-06T15:35:51+00:00

"sorry enough to let you chat wit me, it'll kill me but you can't be that boring, right?" of course with smile and a sarcastic tone, playful

2012-01-07T20:31:58+00:00

"I'm sorry you don't have my cock in your mouth at this point."

2012-01-06T06:50:44+00:00

lol that was a funny read!

Title	I'm so beta it hurts.
Author	yenners
Upvotes	21
Comments	23
Date	January 6, 2012 5:40 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/o52iu/im_so_beta_it_hurts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-so-beta-it-hurts.1326632 https://theredarchive.com/post/1326632

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