First up I want to confess I've been lurking this subreddit for about 1 year. Throughout that time following seddit advice I have been able to slowly become a more confident person: mostly by keeping eye contact while talking, straight posture while sitting and walking, slowing down my movements and reaction.

I'm still a kissless virgin at 24 mostly stemming from my "nice guy" syndrome. I may not have model looks but I'm not ugly either, and I know this because without even trying, a couple of girls (HB8-9 range) were literally throwing themselves at me during my highschool and college days. Of course, as the "nice guy" I was, god forbid I dare to take the slightest advantage because they were originally seeking help to study for homework/exams. Even though they kept touching at every opportunity and one literally saying "I want you". I just kept ignoring all the advances and hints. So was my logic.

A CS graduate with a nice job in the IT, I don't have any female friends and the few male friends that I do have either are hardworking nerds (like me) or undergraduates that play videogames all day.

With a bit of context of where I'm coming from, on to the field report. A friend who is still in college and have known for a few years invites me to an international student party. In the last year I've been to a couple of these parties but didn't even try to socialize and barely talked to a few girls without any results (because I was not even trying to apply anything I've learned here). Going into the party I knew I wanted to change this and approach as many people as I could.

First approach: I arrive to the house where they are having a pre-party, I introduce myself to all the people there (5-6 men for now, keep in mind I don't know anyone that will go to the party other than my friend and he will just come to give me the party ticket and leave as he's one of the organizers). More people start to arrive, among them a HB9 and her HB6 friend. I introduce myself to them, tell them my name and so they tell me theirs. At that moment I couldn't even do more than that because they were still walking around the house. However I do admit I failed to go and talk to them when they were sitting by themselves a bit later.

Second approach: After having talked to a few men I noticed this HB8 walking by me, looking directly at her eyes and having a half-grin I said "Hey there, I'm major_taway" (Keeping it simple, opener I would use all night). At the beggining I was clueless as to what to say though so I asked the usual lame questions (where are you from, who did you come with, etc). She actually was coming with just a friend and her friend's boyfriend. Then I just kept spewing whatever was in my mind. As everyone was drinking and I wasn't yet, I told her that I try to take it slow and try not to be blackout-drunk before the actual party. Told some bs story about my friends generally being drunk and me being the only sane person left. Lame story finished she said that she would be going outside to the balcony where other people (and her friends) were. In retrospect: Guess I couldn't do anything for this one other than actually scalating with kino or spewing better stories from improved experience.

We went to the actual party site which was a huge garden with djs performing. I noticed several sets of people talking while I went to grab a drink. I know that the standard seddit advice is to go and talk to everyone but I couldn't convince myself just yet. My excuses: "Too early in the party", "I want more people to arrive", "I want people to start dancing", "I need to talk to my friend first". The later which I did and we talked for good 30 mins or so before I noticed people started dancing.

Third approach: Oddly enough, I found a group of six HB6-8 dancing by themselves easier to approach than most other sets of less people. I identified the prettiest HB8 one and just went and started dancing beside her and another of her friends(HB6). Roughly this is how the conversation went: Me: (To the HB8) Hey there I'm major_taway, what's your name? HB8: Natalia. Me: <Thinking face> that sounds like you are from <insert local place>. HB8: Nope, I'm from Peru and she's from Colombia (pointing to the HB6). Me: Nice... (To the HB6) And your name? HB6: <name I don't remember> Me: Good good. <kept dancing for a bit> <I make nope movement with my face> (To the group) You don't know how dance. HB8: <nope face> We do! We're on a "ladies" night. Me: Oh yeah? So where do the "mens" (our first language isn't english so this term was said as a joke) fit into that? HB8: What "mens". Me: You don't see them? HB8: Nope. Me: Well, I'm a man and I'm just right here among you. <kept dancing> <I make nope movement with my face> You really don't know how to dance. I shall teach you some moves. <ejected shortly after by dancing away from the group>

In retrospect: This was my half-assed attempt at getting the HB8 to follow me, however I failed to took her hand so it's probably why it failed.

If I took anything from reddit regarding confidence is to "fake it till' you make it" and let me tell you it worked wonderfully at least for me. I haven't took dance classes or anything like that, I just moved to the music however I felt appropiate, and even though I knew I never have danced like that, my "fake" confidence was translated to "real" confince. The "real" confidence to dance however I wanted in front of a group of 6 girls. A girl group of a magnitude I thought I could never approach in my life.

Fourth approach: I saw a 2-set (HB7-8) talking by themselves just outside the main dancing group. Introduced myself and just straight up said let's enjoy the party, let's dance. Started dancing between the 2 of them looking at the HB7. They look somehow surprised but still I'm the only one dancing and after a short while, HB8 takes HB7 from the hand and go to another place. In retrospect: Probably did not do a good enough of a dance or attempted kino and this made them lost interest. I didn't feel like escalating because they didn't even start dancing.

By this time the music started getting better for me so I started busting out some moves by myself. While I was doing so I noticed the HB8 and HB6 from the third approach walking by. Made eye contact with the HB8 and she was the first to talk: HB8: Well, you got to teach me some dance moves as you said! Me: Fair enough, let's go. She said something to her HB6 friend while I pulled her away. Rightly so, because in the smoothest move I have yet made in my life. I pulled her away by the hip, and only 5 seconds later took her by the upper butt and straight-out started grinding from the front (I wanted to mantain eye contact as recommended). I cannot emphazise how natural this move felt to me. As soon as she requested to teach her some moves, I just knew. Just knew that I could grind with her: no logic involved, no "creep" sensation, not feeling like giving a fuck of what other people saw or thought.

I'm not lying when I say her body wasn't half bad, maybe because I hadn't deliberately touched a woman in this manner before, but who cares, certainly was enjoying it and so was her, for the 30 seconds that it lasted. Yep, not even 30 seconds and her HB6 friend was there, looking at her friend and totally ignoring me. They started talking again while I was still dancing, we moved a bit towards the center of the group (HB8 took me by the hand and guide me there). As we were just getting started again on the dancing, HB6 interrupted again and talked some more to the HB8, forcefully pulling her away from my grip. Honestly I didn't felt like chasing her or anything, I'm not desperate to do so. I was having so much fun dancing anyways that I started doing it by myself as if nothing happened. I guess I got to know first-hand why seddit recommends going with a wingman. In retrospect: At the time, giving my phone to her so that she could type her number didn't occur to me. Also, within that 30 seconds I totally could have kissed her. She wasn't rejecting any of my advances. I was so amused that I finally got to dance with a girl that I forgot everything else.

This left me in the middle of the group, just dancing by myself among all these people. I think I was doing a fine enough job because I noticed people looking at me: admiring, laughing, I didn't care. I tried to mantain eye contact with the ones which looked my way but they all looked away eventually.

Fifth approach: As I was still dancing by myself a 2-set (HB8s) come by my way so I smile and introduce myself. I recognize one from a previous party I attended like 6 months ago and we talked for a bit before one guy arrived to talk to her. I shift my focus to the other HB8 and while talking to her I heard him saying something along the lines of "Well, I see she's already with this guy". Didn't heard the rest of the conversation between them but a minute later and as I was still talking and trying to dance with the HB8, her friend pulled her away in a similar fashion as the last one (didn't look forced though). I really don't have an idea of what happened here.

Anyways, I just kept on dancing by myself and soon enough I see the HB9 from the first approach accompanied by another friend of hers which was also HB9. As they walked towards me I tried to establish contact with both to which her friend reciprocated. We danced for a bit but my guts failed for this one to try any kino on her. We didn't really talk either. In retrospect: Remembering the first approach HB9 name or actually trying to talk when I first saw her would totally have worked wonders here.

Soon after the night was finished. Having lurked for 1 year here, I think I have at least a decent understanding of theory but not enough practice. This was my first time actually trying any of the concepts.

Appreciate any insights you may have. Thanks for reading.