Hey guys, so the intention of this post is to try and inspire some newbs (like myself) to get out and make that first step.

You know, maybe I am more experienced than you, maybe I am in better physical conditions and have better facial aesthetics than yourselves. but if so: that isn't anything to stop you.

So I'm recently 21, have moved to a small town with 2 clubs and a few pubs, just broken up with my 1st ltr, work for a tech company, and have just returned from a solo night out. I went out alone because I feel the only thing holding me back in life at the moment is my inability to seduce and escalate with women. I do not at all consider myself unattractive, however I have an acute fear of sexual expression due to my past experience (virgin until 19, first kiss at 19, the definition of an emotional tampon all until my second year of University).

So I've been on a few night outs solo in this small town, and so far I've had no success establishing a friend group since working for this tech company. Yesterday and today I personally asked EVERYBODY, face-to-face, if they'd like to go out tonight, and emailed everyone in the company (50 people) if they want a pint. I live with my cousin and Uncle, and it ended up with me going out solo, with the risk of seeing my ex-partner (only partner I've had) out.

After watching multiple videos to psyche me up somewhat (see links at end), I decided to head out. I started off by ringing my Mum, and then a friend, to get me in a somewhat talkative mood. If you're thinking "Oh, but I never call anyone", I can appreciate that, because neither do I. I called my Mum explaining I wanted someone to talk to, to help get me in a social mood. I then called a friend - he didn't say much but stated how he was confused because this was the first time I'd ever rang him, since I only ever text anyone (if ever). After this, I went to a small pub and tried making small-talk (the pub had 4 people in altogether). I made comments on what the people were drinking, and was eventually told by one guy that I came across like an asshole. The other 3 people weren't very receptive, however 1 of the people had learning difficulties so I managed to spark up some conversation with him. After a beer in here, I went to another pub and ordered a pint. I sparked up conversation with a guy by making a comment on how he was wearing a coat and would be very warm in a club, but that conversation died almost instantly. I tried conversing with a barman, but that died, and then I conversed with a few others by asking about the environment. After about 2 minutes, that died. After my half-pint here, I headed to the club.

Note that, in the videos provided, the first 'easy' thing to do is create a 'base' to come back to. I found this extremely intimidating, since it meant that I'd have to open some strangers and try to make friends. I believe I managed to accomplish this: I was at the bar and made a comment to the guy next to me about how he was wearing a coat and there wasn't a cloakroom. He responded by talking about how warm he was but how cold it was outside. I went over to the slot machine to "watch him piss his money away", but the slots weren't working. I was beginning to feel needy since I was just stood beside these two guys (one I hadn't even spoken to, and both were obviously friends of one another), so I therefore moved to a second set.

There were these two girls sat on a sofa. It took some courage to even approach them, but I awkwardly walked over and said something along the lines of "The dance floor's up there, you know", smirking a little. They basically shut me down by saying "Yeah, we know, but we don't wanna go up there." I felt pretty awkward and didn't really know how to respond. Eventually I said that they should be dancing, and they said they weren't feeling it, then moved up on the sofa and let me sit beside them. We made a lot of small-talk, then I eventually got offered a beer by the HB7. She bought me one, then I said we should dance. I managed to muster the confidence to put my hands around her waist, but no way could I muster the confidence to kiss her - no fucking way. We danced for a while, then she gave me a shit-test by telling me that, because she bought my round, it was my turn to buy hers. I kinda succeeded (maybe not) the shit-test by taking the piss out of what she last ordered, then telling her that if I was going to buy her anything, it had to be as close to ale as the club could get.

So I bought her and myself a drink, then danced some more. After dancing for a bit, I could tell the sexual-attraction was diminishing since I wasn't making a move (lack of confidence) and she was definitely losing interest). I told her I'd see her in a minute: I went for a piss, struck up conversation with a few other people, then came back over to her. After a bit we went back to sit down, and I got my phone out and told her to put her number and name in my phone. I was shitting myself a little, but I said I was going and went to kiss her. She told me that I'd have to buy her a meal before doing that or some shit, to which I laughed and said she'd be lucky to get that. I got her number, then when I said I was leaving, she grabbed my face and kissed me.

You know, it's not much of an FR: I didn't fuck anyone, nor did I get my dick touched, but the incredibly important thing is that it's a big step in the right direction, and it's taught me that I damn-well can have a good night by going out solo, and so can you.

I've had a pretty constant belief all my life that I'm unable to sexually express myself, and maybe this girl won't lead to anything, but it's taught me that I am capable, and therefore, if you just go out and scare yourself by getting out of your comfort zone, so are you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VsxXzbk4_4&

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ftq0bzu2D1Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ma5hIMG7kTA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIIHBTBq_rU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DKEoyeW9I8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8nSyZIRrzg