Hi Seddit, first I just want to thank all of you for all your contributions. Discovering guys probably one of the most helpful things in my life. I've been meaning to contribute for some time, but never really had anything until recently. I'll try to keep this concise, and apologies in advance for the poor formatting. I am still by far very new and have a lot to improve on, but I've had some recent successes.

This past week I was at a two day conference for a work related event with a few co-workers. Because some of us lived fairly far from the city where it was hosted, my company was allowing us to get a room at a hotel and expense the cost. At least, that's what I found out after arriving to the event, so basically I wasn't prepared and didn't have a room. The person kind of heading the whole trip for the group, HB7.5, basically forgot to tell me. I spent the entire day more less giving her shit about this fact and also making jokes saying, that if I got too drunk at the end of the day (there was an after conference concert/party) I'd crash in her room, too which basically said yes in a sort of laughing/apologetic way for not telling me about being able to rent a room.

Long story short, did conference, went to concert, drank, went out to another bar, came back, went to HB's room to get my stuff, read the mood to be good and ended up saying fuck it and went for it. Results: made out, led to top off, fooling around but too tired and drunk to go further. I slept over and she basically was snuggling up next to me all night no matter how I tossed and turned.

A little back-story. There is actually another FR involving this same person I had meant to write about a few weeks back but ended up never getting to it. But the previous event sets up what happened this week. I'm going to try to combine the two here. In general I've been working on my inner game, learning to be confident, to not seek valdiation from others, improve the quality of my life and to learn better body language. At first it was just about being being more confident around the work place as a way to improve myself since I couldn't go out. Joking around more, teasing people, and voicing my opinion loudly. After a while I start noticing her attention and felt like there maybe something to it. But in the end decided to ignore it; I didn't want to get involved with co-workers and other stuff etc, etc, excuses.

About 2-3 weeks back, went out after work for my boss's bday at a bar. HB went along. It was basically me and her from the office and a bunch of my boss's old school mates and friends I didn't really know. Beginning of the night I just put myself out there, introduced myself to each friend, talk to each, listened, held conversation. Completely something old me would have never. EVentually I made my way to HB and started chatting with her, but I was feeling great by then after tlaking with so many people I decided to put some of the stuff I've been learning her to practice. Joked around with her a lot, teasing, but the most important thing was kino. Began simple, touches to arm for emphasis, but by the end of the night I had my arms around her at certain points and was leading her through the bar as the group moved around. This was something I'd never done before and it blew my mind. End of the night, she drove me to my car, gave her a hug and pretty much left at that.

I thought felt something from her after that night, but next weekend I had set up a weekend ski trip for my department, to which she didn't show, which basically made me think that everything I thought I sense from that previous night was probably wrong. O well, I felt as if oneitis was coming on and decided to focus my energy on avoiding that and just forgetting about the whole thing. Then the events of this week happened. I feel like I'm rambling now, going to try to break down what I think went right and what went wrong.

Right Stuff:

  • Before the concert/drinking, I went out to eat with co-workers, but invited some of my friends who worked nearby to join. They all got along well, probably helped with social proof.
  • Entire night, I was about having fun. Acted super excited about the performer, and just joking around with everyone.
  • I didn't focus my attention on her. In fact I spent most of the night talking to others.
  • I calibrated the vibe correctly but I feel like it was more dumb luck than skill. Need to tread carefully here.
  • The morning after, we just laid in bed talking for a bit. I told some DHV stories I hadn't shared before, but generally kept in the same state as the night before. Teasing her etc.
  • Age was one big thing she brought up first thing in the morning (She's 5-6 years older than me). I took it and went with it, more teasing.
  • Handled some of the shit tests she gave me in the morning. Questions like 'who do you think is top 3 hottest women in the office?'. Laughed and gave a non-answer 'I'm not going to tell you'.

Wrong Stuff:

  • I could not fall asleep that night. My mind was blown that night. As a result I tossed and turned and moved around alot all night. Probably demonstarted low value, or least gave away my excitment.
  • I could have handled the shit tests better. Two big hang ups was age and that we were co-workers. I don't think the age was that big of a deal, but I definitely did not know how to respond to the co-workers bit.
  • Not sure if I calibrated well enough or if I overstepped my bounds. During the night she would say 'what is happening? We can't do this, you need to go.' But her actions said different, i.e. returned the make out, pulled me in when we began fooling around. I did some stops and re-initiations, but still really have no idea what I'm doing.
  • First day back at the office (Friday), I asked her what she was doing that night, and invited her to a salsa class with me. She turned me down, said she was terrible at salsa and would rather go do yoga since she missed previous day.
  • In trying to ask her to salsa, I hung around her cube a too long, waiting for another co-worker who was there to leave.
  • After getting the no, I stayed around too long and wore out my welcome.
  • I feel like I'm falling back in beta/afc mode again after this tiny bit of success. Not sure what to do at this point. I feel like I need to just move on, but it kind of sucks to give up. Oneitis is a concern as well.

TL;DR: Not going to try.