Continuing from my last FR (http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/255emm/fr_finally_playing_the_rejection_game/) I went out last Friday/Saturday to rack up some more rejections. Managed 15 in all over 2 days, and actually had a really good time!

A few things I learned from these 2 nights:

  1. Hesitation is the worst. When approaching, especially on the dancefloor, just go for it! 99% chance the rejection is brief, and painless.
  2. Try to take any anxiety you feel, and channel it into having fun. What I mean by this is, look at the anxiety as you being excited. Accept it, go out there and have a blast, and then just do your thing when the time is right. Don't tell yourself OMG I MUST APPROACH and then beat yourself up about. No. HAVE FUN FIRST. Trying to rack up rejections helps with this because it becomes a silly game.
  3. Going out with friends really helps you get into state, and provides a nice "home base" for you to return to. If they are good friends, they won't care that you are trying to flirt/dance with girls. They may even be impressed!
  4. Holy crap, girls few nervous and anxious too when a cute guy is talking to them!
  5. I really need to get past this interview-mode BS.

Friday

My wing /u/ThrowingAwayThatDude and I headed downtown around 10:30 to our typical bar. This place has the best crowd for us: cute early 20s indie girls, and they play a lot of music that is pretty danceable. No club stuff really.

My goal is to get the 8 rejections I missed Thursday, so I set off to do so. To be honest though, I don't even remember most of them now! The majority were trying to get girls to dance, with an approach or 2 off of the dance floor thrown in.

My typical shctick was to dance near a group of girls for a minute, then tap one on the shoulder, smile, and offer my hand. I don't think this approaching from behind bit works very great. Next time I'll try to get the eye contact and smile, THEN go for the dance. Eye contact is so fucking key, and I'm still working on it. SMILING is huge too, and this is a big sticking point for me. I tend to have "resting bitch face" which causes people to think I'm upset when I'm really not. I also forget to smile when I'm nervous. :(

About halfway though the night, I approached a 3-set that was sitting off to the side of the dancefloor. I approach them head on, walking slowly to them, then just introduce myself and ask them how their night is going. They did not seem very receptive, unfortunately, but I tried to plow through talking to one of them. It quickly got interview-modey because she wasn't giving me anything to work with and some anxiety began to mount. The other 2 girls were just talking to each other while I struggled with their friend. My wing came up to try and help, but I was still in interview-mode with this girl and not really enjoying myself. I pushed for the rejection by asking them to come dance with us, and boom blown out. That wasn't bad at all! In fact the terrible conversation was the worst part. :P

Near the end of the night, I managed to confidently approach a girl on the dance floor from the front, smile at her, and grab her hand. We danced for a few minutes, and I was even able to escalte a bit with her, by pulling her into me and wrapping my arm around her. After a few seconds of that I pushed her away again. Once we were done dancing I ejected from that group and kept seeking out more rejections.

All in all, not bad. Came for 8 rejections, ended up with 10. And I had fun!

Saturday

Saturday night was a bit different, as it was my buddy's 30th birthday. We met up at his place, where there were 7-8 people I'd never met before. I was feeling a bit anti-social at first so it took me some time (and alcohol) to get into a talkative mood with them.

I joined a few conversations briefly, and finally ended up in a conversation with the one single girl there. Shes not really my type looks-wise, but it's important to practice talking to people, so....yeah. We end up again having an interview-modey conversation, but throughout it I notice a few things: she definitely seems really nervous and uncomfortable, and I think this is because she's attracted to me. She kept trying to re-initiate every time the conversation lulled, and for the rest of the night I would catch her looking at me nervously. But, since she's not my type I didn't try to kino or anything.

Later, our group heads to a club where the birthday boy has gotten some bottles. We hang out at the table, sipping our drinks while I make chitchat with the people in the group. I head out onto the dancefloor to try and rack up my 5 rejections for the night.

Out there, I noticed the same phenomenon as Friday: hesitation is met by guaranteed rejection. Bold action means you might get turned down, but it will be painless. But, it'll also be fun! Highlights of the evening: Dancing in the middle of a group of 10 girls with no hesitation, then dancing with the bachlorette (my intended target turned me down). Dancing, and grinding a bit, with a hot girl near the DJ stand who I approached very confidently. One of my AFC friends started asking me how I did that stuff, as if it were some sort of magic....no magic, you just gotta try!

Finally, near the end of the night, I get into a pretty good conversation with one of the friends-of-a-friend at the party. She's married, but I don't care because it's a good chat. I managed to thread this conversation and keep it out of interview mode by making statements, and being a bit more emotional with the content. She even told me I was an excellent conversationalist! No one has ever said that to me before! :D

All in all, another good night. 5 rejections obtained, some fun dancing, and apparently im a good conversationalist.

I'm going to conquer this cold approach thing!

Questions

  1. Eye contact and smiling are a few things I still struggle with. Any tips for this? I'm thinking I'll just have to devote a few nights (or some daygame) to really nailing this down and making it a habit.
  2. How the hell do I get out of interview mode?? I've noticed a lot of it is due to nervousness and "mind-blanking" IE not knowing what to say.
  3. If stuff is going well with a girl on the dancefloor, how do I escalate? It seems I need to risk rejection yet again and either try to escalate physically, or try to move her to the bar or a couch.