Went out downtown last night with my wing /u/ThrowingAwayThatDude. Especially in light of recent events, I really want to get out there more, focus on approaching, and start to work through my inner game issues. Pushing each other to approach helps us with that.

What also helps, is the Rejection Game: try to rack up rejections for fun and profit! I set up to get 10 rejections on this fine night, while my wing was trying to have a good time with a girl he met Wednesday night.

We decided to arrive early, due to early work in the morning. I really think this helped a lot. Stuff was way more chill, sets were warmer. It let our energy increase with the environment, instead of just being dumped into a high energy situation. I'm really going to try going out early more often.

Anyways, since we got there before the bar even opened we bounced to a nearby burger place and I got some food (I had just exercised before coming out). No approaches done, but we are getting used to the evening. So, we head to the bar when it opens at 10.

Set 1

Inside, we sit at the bar. There's no girls, but a 3set of guys to our right. Attempt #1. I open the guy immediately to my right with "Hey, how's your night going?" He's standoffish at first, but I manage to get him to open up more by suggesting other cool bars they can check out downtown. We chat for a solid 5-10 minutes. I even tried to push for the "rejection" by asking him if we can hang with their group later. No rejection, he says sure they can meet up with us (although we never made an attempt to). Damn, no rejections yet.

Set 2

At this point, /u/ThrowingAwayThatDude 's girl walks in, and shes with a (really cute) friend. After they settle in, he literally slaps himself in the face and goes to approach. I'm not sure about the applicability of this tactic, but it certainly seemed to work for him. :) I give him a minute or 2 and then follow him into set. Attempt #2.

He accepts me into set, introduces me, and I start to work on the cute friend. Something I noticed here is how nervous she seemed, to be talking to a stranger. Lots of fidgety body language, and a wavery voice at first. But, I persisted in being friendly, asking her about topics, and trying to thread the conversation. She seemed to settle down and open up a bit. This really struck me through the interaction....that maybe I'm not the only nervous one and in fact I have the ability to make someone's night more fun by approaching them!

However, I do feel like I got interview mode-ey with her. But, the focus now is on approaching and failing, not getting rejected!

Eventually the dance floor opens and they all run in. I join them and we start dancing. We are the only 4 people on the dace floor, and having a total blast. I dance with the friend a bit but I'm definitely getting a friendly vibe from her kino, not a sexy one. I still take the chance to work on escalation/kino a bit though, grabbing her hand/spinning her, pulling her close with my arm around her, back into a spin, etc, etc...we are just having a good time all around.

Set 3

At one point while resting, I head over to the bar. I strike up a conversation with a bored looking gentleman by saying "Hey, you look bored. What's up?" He's a bartender there, and we talk about the band pictured on my shirt, and the show I went to see earlier that week. No rejection, the conversation just sort of fizzles. I'm not sure if I could've pushed more on something here? It was still practice approaching.

Back to the dancefloor

I head back out there, and dance with my wing/the girls some more. At this point he has his girl pretty much locked down. I try to approach another group of people by dancing in the middle of their circle, and surprisingly they cheered and danced with me! Again, no rejection. Finally, I get my first one by holding my hand out to a girl for a dance, and having her turn away from me.

I could have done this a few more times on the dancefloor to really rack them up, but I started to find AA creeping back in, and I didn't act. Still had fun though.

We have to go, so I rack up my second "rejection", by asking the cute friend for her number. She gives it to me, but says we can hang out as friends since she has a BF (who shares my name apparently). Pretty light overall for a rejection!

Summary

So, overall a good night, because I actually took action. I also found it difficult to get rejections, at the rate I wanted at least. Perhaps this is because I'm not pushing myself enough. We plan to head out again tonight so I can rack up the other 8, should be much easier on a Friday.

I noticed that my state seemed noticeably higher at the beginning of the night, and I attribute this to having a work out right before. Definitely gonna try that again. But, the AA started to creep back near the end. How can I maintain state better and keep AA at bay as the night goes on? This is critical, as getting past the anxiety is my current goal (yeah I'm still a n00b).

I have a real fear of opening people in groups. It just seems really awkward and inappropriate, and my AA goes crazy at the thought of that. I know it holds me back a lot, but it's a sticking point. Any tips here?