I went out (prowling seriously, at least) for the first time since a semi-breakup and since reading Seddit.

Run-down of what happened:

I went to a bar with my friend to meet up with some of his friends. Some girl came up to me within five minutes and kissed me for no reason. I meant to find her later but I didn't see her much more and didn't really care. I regretted letting her go that fast but I had just gotten to the club, didn't think it was the time of night yet to bring a girl home, and I didn't want to hang on her for the next 2-3 hours straight. What I did: I grabbed her because she gave a big rub when she walked past me. I talked a little bit but didn't really do/say anything to feel proud of because her approach totally threw me off and I was way too sober for what she was laying on me. It's more alpha to leave them hanging for some time anyway, I think.

I meant to find that girl later on, but I never ran into her again and there were other prospects around. After staring at them for like 15 minutes while pounding beer, my friend approached this group of four hot girls, and I joined in. What I did: They were from Belarus and I was just talking shit about Eastern Europe (I'm a Wikipedia dork), asking them how they liked living in the US. I wasn't feeling shy about getting close to them, especially because I had to lean in close to hear their accents over the music. I had a good chat with the hottest one, she walked away. I went by my friends for a little bit, and I talked to her friend who was almost as hot, just saying the same kind of bullshit. My approach was "thanks for watching our coats" because we had left them in the chair next to her. After talking for a while, I had her cornered w/ my arm around her, which came pretty naturally. I realized that even though she wasn't obviously digging me, she didn't seem to mind this blatant invasion of her personal space, and I figured I might have had a window to make out with her. I asked her if she had kissed many guys in Chicago, and she kind of shelled up real quick because it was probably obvious what my intentions were. Maybe I would have had more luck if I had just gone in for it or done it differently, who knows. We split from the group for a while. I saw them leaving and I wanted to say good-bye, so I went where they were. The hottest one that I was talking gave me a solid hug and definitely gave me an opening to say "we should meet up again sometime", but I had already decided she wasn't really my type and I wouldn't call her. I should have gotten her # anyway just for the experience.

I talked to a hot girl at the bar. I was next to her ordering a beer and she was wiping the bar with a bunch of napkins, so I opened it by asking her what she was doing. I ended up talking to her for like two minutes, but I carelessly went on too long about my line of work and she didn't seem to be feeling it. She turned to her friend and I told her to take it easy and walked away. Normally this would kind of frustrate me, but as you can imagine I did not give a flying fuck at this point.

The finale: I was on the dance floor with my friend and his friends. I was just getting down a little bit but mostly looking for an opening with some girl. There was a chick I wanted to approach earlier, she ended up dancing right in front of me, but facing away, and I was itching for some kind of opening, especially because it was almost closing time. Her friend asked me to take a picture of their little group so I ended up talking to and dancing with this chick. I don't remember much of what I said at this point so I won't waste your time telling you the story, but basically she was SUPER friendly and easy to talk to, which was super slippery lubricant for everything else that happened. I took her to a bar next door that was open late, chatted it up, and then I went back to her place and smashed her. I actually thought she was cool, and I just might call her to meet up again in the future.

I hope this shit isn't too long, and I hope there are useful lessons from what I've told so far.

The biggest thing I learned: talking to girls is so fucking easy. I cheat a little bit with opening because I'm good looking, but I'm NOT super witty, and although I might be able to fake it on the outside, I don't feel particularly confident most of the time. All I did was talk bullshit with these girls like I'd talk to anyone, which is something like: ask plenty about them, respond in like, tell them about myself (highlighting the interesting bits), and challenge them (i.e. "You work there? That must suck.")... the 'challenging' bit is a big part of my own personality, and I let it flow with women (in moderation) because it's one way of being funny, and it shows them you're not just a nice little teddy bear.

My goal was NOT to get laid, but rather to make little connections and have some fun. This is the best advice I've gotten from Seddit, and god damn did it work for me this weekend. I was not getting hung up over some particular girl hanging around, and beat myself up because I didn't have the confidence to talk to her (this is what I've done soooo many fucking times). I just acted like my regular self and if some girl didn't like me, or couldn't/wouldn't contribute enough to our interaction, then too bad for her. The only real issue I was having is the opener. It's not because I'm afraid of not having anything to say, but rather because I would not enjoy starting a conversation without having something worthwhile to say, no matter how how the girl is or how much fun I think I'd have sticking it in her. And I'm certainly not going to go up to a stranger and expect THEM to have something great to start a conversation with. This attitude is what seems to be making the difference: I'm looking out for me in the interactions and not them. With this attitude, being rejected by a girl I've barely spoken with is simply a non-issue; the answer is too bad for them.

Thank you Seddit for helping me help myself over my recent bout of insecurity.