I screwed up Seddit.

I have been traveling through France for several months now. A few months ago my friend and I went to a crazy party where all the French people get wasted and dance in the streets. A great place to meet women.

My friend and I prowled the streets and talked to lots of girls throughout the night. Around midnight I had a brief encounter with a beautiful girl and her friend. I closed out the conversation at the appropriate time and proceeded on my way.

Naturally, five minutes later she and her friend were back. Her friend said "Hey, you should come with us and have some drinks". My friend was occupied with some other girls so I said "Sure" and ditched him. It turns out that beautiful French girl was ashamed of her English and I spent most of the night charming her into speaking and having confidence in her English skills.

We proceed to dance and drink and flirt. Sometime during the dancing, I took a lit cigarette out of her mouth, threw it on the ground and said "You don't need that, you need this!" and kissed her hard. She loved it. We spent the rest of the night rolling around a local park and making out more.

I got her contact info and we arranged to meet in another city we would both happen to be in later. Everything went great during the encounter in the other city even though our time was brief. We hit some bars and got nice and toasty. I suggested a trip back to my hotel and some nice sex followed.

I liked the girl enough to suggest that I visit her hometown for a week. We decided to rent a nice apartment since she temporarily lived at her parents. The week in her hometown went great also. We slowly moved into relationship territory and spent time watching movies and making dinners. When it came time to say goodbye she did not want to let go and kept trying to get one more kiss and one more goodbye. I went back to my home and we made tentative plans for another rendezvous in a few weeks.

Then something changed. She started to suggest that maybe I should not come to visit her again. She said that she had a very difficult work year ahead and that she was not sure that having a man in her life was a good idea. I could not figure out if this was a grand shit test or she was being serious. I leaned toward it being a shit test. So, I ignored it a pressed on. I was going to be in her hometown anyways so I just showed up. I said "Hey, I am here in your town. Let's spend some time together". All my requests were rebuffed.

This threw me for a big loop. Why was this girl acting this way? Did she suddenly change her mind with no obvious reason? Was she actually going to throw away a good relationship because of work related reasons? Did she find someone new and was trying to let me down gently?

My game simply fell apart and I reverted to non-confident mode. Instead of saying something like "Your loss" and moving on with my life, I let the rejection affect me greatly. I just could not understand what had happened to make her change her tone so drastically. I had to understand why. I proceeded to send her open ended text messages like "I am still in town..." and "Last chance...". Bad idea. Now she pretty much ignores me and it is obvious she has picked up on my new lack of confidence.

I screwed up Seddit. It is time to pick myself up, dust myself off and learn from my mistake.

No matter how big the shit test or the rejection, stop and ask yourself "Am I handling this like a confident alpha male and showing that I don't really need this girl?"