So, let me preface this post with the fact that I do not consider myself a PUA, and would actually better qualify as a AFC as I have terrible approach anxiety and have barely managed to approach any women in the field yet. I did OK with this on a recent road trip to Toronto, so I am making strides in this direction, but I have a long way to go. Having said that I can now actually talk about what this post is about. I am writing about two recent dates I arranged through OK Cupid where I practiced some good kino that really worked. I read a post today complaining about lack of specific examples with respect to Kino so I thought maybe this is the first time I can contribute.

Date 1 (Friday):

I meet the girl at a local pub close to my house. One of my primary goals of this evening is to work on kino and establishing a good vibe. My first instinct is that I don't find her immediately attractive, she is probably a HB5, but for the purposes of this evening I am not concerned as I have personal development goals. I met her outside and as we enter I start looking for a table. I think everything is important, including table selection, and even how fast you make a table selection and how confidently you do this. I was not as fast or confident as I would have liked to be on what appears to be such a simple thing, but I did chose a great table and got her to sit down first so that I could chose the chair next to her so that we were very close. It was a round high table and she was sitting to my left.

When she sat down I pulled her chair out and guided her in and gently, and quickly placed my hand on the small of her back to begin the touching. This was not easy for me and it was a very conscious effort. As we began to communicate I made sure that occasionally my left knee would touch her knee and I would keep it there longer each time I did it. At the beginning I noticed that she pulled her knee away from mine, but over time it lasted longer and longer. As I continued the small kino with my leg I made sure to maintain good eye contact during the conversation and also tried to establish and open body language. As we joked I would occassionally touch her upper arm, and each time I consciously kept my hand there longer and longer, but never for more than a few seconds because it just isn't a very natural position to converse in. She had a big ring on so of course I commented on it, and grabbed her hand and pulled it in towards me a little to inspect the ring. I let our hands fall naturally and gently to the table and as we continued to talk I simply left my hand there with hers resting on top of it. Eventually she moved her hand away to get something out of her purse or something like that, but I think this worked well. I think proper kino indicates that you are supposed to move away first, but in this instance it ended up working for me although I was conscious about the fact that maybe this was a mistake.

So far everything felt very positive and I repositioned my chair slightly and started to touch her leg a bit throughout the conversation. Again, it started with a simple tap after a joke or simple banter or a small neg and then I would leave it there longer and longer. This was a much natural position for my hand to be in during a conversation than the upper arm and I think my hand stayed there for over 10 seconds on multiple times.

So, fast forward, night ends and I drive her home as she does not drive and had gotten a ride. Her intention was to phone for a ride home if I was serial killer or something, but otherwise I would give her a ride home. We get there and she invites me in to meet her brother, which was fine. Hang around for a bit, make small talk, blah blah, but now we are sitting on opposite sides of a kitchen table and I don't really want to kino in front of the brother anyways. Eventually he goes to sleep, we talk for a bit, and then I simply stood up, walked over to her while maintianing eye contact and kissed her. We made out for a bit. I tried to move her to the couch but she said not on the first date. I couldn't remember about freeze outs and stuff so I just continued to make out and try to escalate further without success. I'm ok with that as she was a smoker and I wasn't really too interested in. I'm pretty sure (nearly 100%) that if I followed up I could complete the deal.

Date 2 (Saturday):

I go hiking all day and she knew this. Hiking actually gets a lot more intense than I expected and it became obvious that I wasn't making it back to town until 10-1030ish so when I get to the top of the mountain I check my phone and I have coverage and send her a text message. I only have coverage on the summit or along the ridge as the cell towers are on the opposite side of the mountain from the trail.

"Hey, I'm on the summit of Mount xxx and won't be home until pretty late today." We actually text a few times while I have coverage and establish that she is spending the day in a subdivision close to mine and that if I get home before 1030 I should come over for a walk. Fast forward a bit and I get home at about 1030, shower, etc, and meet her at about 1115. Of course I kept in contact so that she was aware what was happening as I knew I would be late.

Ok, kino. So we start walking and immediately I am in good state. Feeling good from hike and from success night before and generally don't give a fuck attitude. She is a pretty decent HB7 (8 or 9 body), and of course I start with a big hug. Then, as we are chatting before walking I make a point to reach out and touch her on her upper arm. Then we begin to walk and I turn her by placing my hand on the small of her back and guiding her, and even though I have only known her for a few minutes I simply kept my hand here for a while (at least 15 seconds). Jokes begin and I get a high five. Teasing begins so a playful shove with a reciprocal playful punch. Later she initiated a high five, as my previous high five had come after I had established a mutual commonality and this time she established it and she initiated a high five. Not sure if this is NLP or not, but if so then I simply did it by accident as I've never read anything about NLP.

We sit down on a bench at a park and I make sure to keep my body language open towards her and have my left arm on the bunch and my hand is placed on her upper back / shoulder. My arm is sort of around her but not quite. She seems a little tentative at this point as I contemplated a kiss, but it didn't feel quite right (maybe AFC) so I didn't do anything. She broke contact and got up and we walked some more. She wanted to turn around so I obliged but guided the turn with my hand on her back and then simply left my arm around her and pulled her close for a few seconds and then that felt like it might be too much after she had broken contact on the bench so I let it go. As I did that I made sure that my hand touched hers and she didn't pull it away. Mental note. A short while later I make sure are hands touch while we walk beside her. A shorter while later I make it happen again and tentatively reach for her hand and she is receptive so are actually walking holding hands now. Total time maybe 45 minutes.

This goes on, we continue walking, then she wants to go home. We joke, I make a comment about a kiss somehow and she giggled so we make out on the street for a bit. She is with friends so we made out for a bit and ask her to come back to my place, but it didn't happen. It will probably happen soon.

Anyways, this is much longer than I wanted it to be and maybe it sucks, but I was very conscious of kino in both dates and think that it helped tremendously in both cases so hopefully this is a useful post.