Last FR
It has been some time since I last posted. I was mainly busy due to university. Deadlines exams and stuff are pretty draining recently.
However, yesterday I managed to go out with my friends after a while.
Lets start with some little background story. About a week ago I randomly bump into a girl I've met a few months ago already. We recognise each other, exchange numbers, and start texting back and forth.
We text pretty much everyday and she invites me to a party at friday. Friends want to go to the party too, so i tell her I am in.
Skip forward to thursday night. I work on a university project I have to submit on friday. I work all night without sleep and finally sumbit my work on friday. Due to more appointments on friday I only manage to sleep 1 single hour. I wake up, get a haircut and pretty much get ready for going out.
We all meet up for the usual predrinking. Playing drinking games, having fun, talking. I keep talking to the girl who originally invited me. She invites me to another party next week with one of her friends and we eventually start going to town to go to the party.
We tease each other on the way to the party, however thats pretty much everything that happens with her. We arrive at the party location, the queue is long as fuck. After about 45 minutes, she mentions that she has a fast lane ticket and she is going to use it as it is pretty cold. She wants to wait inside until we get in.
We tell her to go ahead. She goes in, my friends and me are still in the queue. After 15 further minutes we decide to leave as we cannot be arsed to wait any longer.
I send the girl a quick message that we will leave and go to some other club. She answers with some sad smileys and I turn off my phone because it has got no power anymore.
My friends and I finally arrive at the new club and get in pretty fast. I've been awake for ~35 hours at this point without counting the one hour of sleep.
We buy drinks and go on the dancefloor. I notice 2 cute girls across the dancefloor, however I take no action. I dance for a while minding but I notice both of these girls coming closer and closer towards me. I notice the proximity, but also think that this could be just random / they might persue someone else.
My friends and I change our position on the dancefloor. Few seconds later I notice these girls are coming over again. At this point I am pretty certain that one of them might be interested in me.
I lock eyes once in a while with one of the girls, the one who seems interested and she overly smiles back. It's my turn to buy drinks for my friends, so I go to the bar, but I keep observing these 2 girls. Quite some guys try to dance with them / start an interaction with them, however they turn every single guy down.
I go back, yet again to some other position on the dancefloor. As expected, both of them come in direct proximity of me again. This time this one girl who seems to be interested, comes way closer than before. She is literally rubbing her ass on me now.
I shit you not - I do not know why, maybe it was due to the fact that I've been awake for 35+ hours, but I did not react to her at all.
She is pretty and it makes 0 sense that I do not react, but I just could not do shit. There is a blockade in my head. I overhear her saying to her friend "I cannot go closer to him than this... he just won't react to me". She stays in close proximity to me. We exchange a few more smiles. Suddenly 2 guys come over to me saying "Dude, for real... these 2 girls turn down everyone here and try to be with you the whole night, already start doing something."
I still have the blockade in my head at this point.
I decide to go out for a smoke and get some air to clear my head. Few minutes out I see the girls leaving the venue with their coats on. They see me, go over to me and the one girl says "I have been trying to somehow get your attention all evening, you just would not react to me at all. What's wrong, am I really not your type?" All I could answer was "Sorry..".
She was definitely beautiful and my type of girl but in my head I still have this limiting belief that I am not worth it. It is a serious problem these days for me. It is not the first time I get approached by girls and I used to handle these situations better. However, as of recently this limiting belief of feeling not worth it is destroying me.
I pretty much did everything wrong I could do wrong this night. I really need some advice on how to fix my limiting beliefs.
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