So, I have been on a lot of dates this week. Five dates the past five days with four girls. One was with a girl I've been seeing for awhile, and two didn't really pan out, so this last one today is the only one worth writing anything about.

First Message

I was just clicking around OKC and she caught my eye. Her profile mentioned Bob Dylan and Reddit, so I asked her for her favorite album/subreddit. She answered and referring to my profile picture added: Also, glasses, a bowtie, and a smile? Dude. You're a winner. I'm in like flint. I invited her out to see me do some stand up and she readily agreed, so we exchanged numbers. Total number of messages back and forth: Eight

Later at dinner during the date, we started talking about creepy dudes/OKC. She just flat out said she only replies to 1/30 messages because most of them are either just unoriginal "hey beautiful" or creepy "hey sexy" messages. Lesson: Pay attention to her profile. Send her a personal message to show you actually read the shit she wrote. Bonus points if it's something YOU also have an interest in/knowledge about. If not, just say you want to know more.

Texting

I got her number on a Friday, the date set for Sunday evening. I'm generally a huge advocate of radio silence when it comes to texting. Nothing but essential logistics. However, I was finishing up the end of a stay-cation, so I was bored as shit. We chit chatted a bit, but not normal "what are you doing today?" bullshit. We got into a pun battle mixing cats and Nazis. Good stuff. Still, I made sure I was the one to end the conversation on my terms, by saying I needed to get ready to go do something. I do have some shit to do.

Stand Up

We met around 5:30 PM. We went to the bar and got seats. I was able to introduce her to most of the other comics who were there because I've been in the scene for a couple months. I've been spending a lot of time networking with them and doing shows on a weekly basis. During the show, we didn't interact a whole bunch. She made the gesture of buying me a beer, which I was happily surprised by. I reciprocated. My set was around the middle. After my set I got a little drunker and we started a little kino. My hand on her legs. Her arm around me. A little hand holding. Her head on my shoulder. Lesson: It's always a plus to be able to introduce her to people or have people come up and say hi. Lets her know you're not a weirdo. You want to paint yourself as a socially successful dude. Bonus points if they're pretty ladies. Kino is important. I got started a little later than I should've, but it worked out. Also, having a show to watch takes a lot of pressure off you and the girl. You're not obligated to interact or entertain her. She can have a good time on her own. If she's having a great time and you don't have to do any work, that's a smart date right there.

Dinner

We left right after the show to grab a burger. A friend kind of invited himself along. He was from out of town, so despite adding a third wheel, I would've felt bad telling him he couldn't come. He picked up on the fact that we were on a date. He even said if I struck out if he would call dibs on her. Haha. Love that guy. We had a pretty good conversation all throughout dinner. We talked about hook ups (important for setting a sexual frame as well as demonstrating you're non-judgmental), creepy people on OKC, etc... I only sensed one major shit test. We were talking about people who text too much. I mentioned my ex would text me random shit, like not even words, just letters to make my phone ring to get my attention.

Her: Oh, so you're one of those.

Me: What do you mean?

Her: You date crazies. Why would you ever do that?

Me: Shrug.

Her: I mean, I'd understand if she was good in bed.

Me: Bingo.

She was trying to push my buttons. She was searching for a reaction. She wanted to know if I was going to be defensive about it or try and cover my tracks. Fuck it. I don't apologize or excuses. She's a very straight forward girl. We all know girls don't like jealous guys, but she was upfront. "Yeah, this guy was jealous. I'm so not about that." Lesson: Lots of people suggest using some perfect clever line to answer a shit test, but you're still just trying to impress her and you're conforming to her frame which places her above you. I'm not saying you need to reverse it by acting superior and condescending to her. Just ignore the test completely and don't react at all. You're unshakable.

** Night Ride**

During dinner, I mentioned I couldn't drink anymore because I had to drive home.

Her: You have a car!?

Me: Even better, I have a scooter.

She was all about that, so I told her I'd give her a ride. I absolutely fucking love giving girls rides on my scooter. They love it. It's exciting and a little scary, and the whole time they're squeezing onto you. We bounced from the burger place and I said I'd giver her a ride to a subway station so she could head home (she lives about 40 minutes away). Towards the end of the ride, I mentioned we were getting close:

Her: You can drive as long as you want!

Me: I'll show you where I live.

Her: OK!

Lesson: Oh my fucking god. She's telegraphing it here. She's giving me an excuse not to let her go home. Take the opportunity, fellas!

Drove her back to my place. We bullshitted for like 10 minutes about movies and books. Eventually I just stood up from the chair (she was sitting on the arm) and just tilted her chin up and started a make out. No special line or move. Just started kissing. Lesson: She didn't come back to my place to browse the book shelf. You don't need some excuse to start kissing her. Just do it.

Unfortunately, because it was that special time of the month, kissing was where things had to stop. We made out for maybe 10 minutes, then I gave her a lift to the subway station. I set up a date for next Saturday before she left. Lesson: So key. Set up that next date while you're still with her. She's been into you, you're doing well. Ride that energy. I've had plenty of girls cool off after Day 1 and never see them again.